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Old 06-23-2016, 06:00 AM
 
16,235 posts, read 25,136,418 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pcelovehair View Post
I started talking to a guy 2 weeks ago. We knew each other a little from being in the same major at a small college. We have a lot in common, and he seems very respectful of me in ways that I'm not really used to, after getting out of an emotionally abusive relationship over a year ago and not dating since then. We've hung out and he has been flirty, but respectfully so. The other night, he told me that he still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend. They broke up 4 months ago, and although he said he would not get back together with her, he needs time to get over her. I point blank asked if he had started talking to me in hopes of just getting sex, which he denied. He told me that even though he really likes me, he probably won't be ready for that right away because he's not looking to rush into anything or make me feel like I'm being led on, although he is interested in me and spending time with me distracts him from missing her. I told him that I appreciated his honesty, and we've agreed to be friends for the time being.
On one hand, I like that we're taking the time to get to know one another and that he was honest with me about what he wants, or so it seems. On the other hand, I worry that although we're not having sex, I am being used as just a distraction. I work full time and go to school part time, so I don't really want to invest what extra time I have in someone who might be fickle..or worse, lying. What would you do in this situation?
He told you the truth...Believe him.

Run, don't walk away. Your recent past abusive relationship has screwed up your boundaries...work on you. Stay out of his space....anyone, until you both individually address the baggage left by your relationships is going to be the victim of all those feelings. These links are for you. Smile at him as you run to class, or rush off to work....and leave it at that. You will thank each other eventually next year.
Emotional baggage: characteristics of an abusive relationship | Examiner.com

Emotional Baggage: How it

https://frogstale.wordpress.com/2013...aggage-behind/

5 Signs Emotional Baggage Is Sabotaging Your Relationship | YourTango

Last edited by JanND; 06-23-2016 at 06:09 AM..
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Old 06-23-2016, 07:17 AM
 
27,957 posts, read 39,667,152 times
Reputation: 26197
Move on.
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Old 06-23-2016, 06:09 PM
 
6,806 posts, read 4,888,983 times
Reputation: 8594
Woman #3 who needs to read the book "He's Just Not That Into You".
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Old 06-24-2016, 04:20 PM
 
3 posts, read 5,528 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks! The articles were a real eye-opener.
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Old 06-24-2016, 09:54 PM
 
3,424 posts, read 3,325,972 times
Reputation: 6170
Quote:
Originally Posted by photobuff42 View Post
Don't think of entering a relationship with this guy. It just can't work out. He is transitioning out of a relationship.
This! You're just a rebound. He's gonna compare you to his ex and whatever flaws you possess, he's gonna call you out on 'em!
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