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See and that is where I have an issue. I happen to love who I am. I don't want to change anything about me. I just want someone that loves me how I am without wanting to change me.
You basically want to emotionally abuse someone. The kind of one sided relationship you're looking for is just that. Stop searching for someone to emotionally abuse, for a start. If you stop doing that, you might be motivated to look at some of your more reprehensible traits honestly and then maybe make a change or two.
See and that is where I have an issue. I happen to love who I am. I don't want to change anything about me. I just want someone that loves me how I am without wanting to change me.
So perhaps what you're offering just isn't lovable? That would be the logical conclusion here.
I think you have my list pretty well figured out. You did a better job than I think I could even do. May I use this the next time I try online dating?
Of course
On the bright side, I guess it's positive that you're figuring out what you want.
Seems to me I remember a guy on here once that was complaining that he couldn't find a good woman for a committed relationship. Turns out that one of his deal breakers was that she had to be willing to let him have sex with as many women as he wanted, but she had to remain faithful to him.....yet he couldn't figure out why he was having trouble
I kinda feel like you're asking for the female version of that. I mean if you can find it, more power to you, I just think that there aren't many men that would be ok with your plan and most of the ones that might be ok with it are severely damaged.
That may be your online impression but nothing how I am in real life. I am always doing for others, crying because other people are going through issues, straightforward and honest. I have no problems admitting my flaws. I just don't want to change. If anything people are generally using me, and when I need something, no one is there to help.
I actually discussed this with my therapist and he disagreed with this common C-D diagnosis. He also finds nothing wrong with my self esteem.
Co-dependency and people pleasing? Totally agree are issues. I don't know the word no.
You basically want to emotionally abuse someone. The kind of one sided relationship you're looking for is just that. Stop searching for someone to emotionally abuse, for a start. If you stop doing that, you might be motivated to look at some of your more reprehensible traits honestly and then maybe make a change or two.
No not at all. If anything I am always building people up. Telling them how great they are, love your shirt, hat, beautiful bike, etc
Anyone you find who will put up with all the stuff you listed is going to be dysfunctional, and thus so will be the relationship.
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On the bright side, I guess it's positive that you're figuring out what you want.
Seems to me I remember a guy on here once that was complaining that he couldn't find a good woman for a committed relationship. Turns out that one of his deal breakers was that she had to be willing to let him have sex with as many women as he wanted, but she had to remain faithful to him.....yet he couldn't figure out why he was having trouble
I kinda feel like you're asking for the female version of that. I mean if you can find it, more power to you, I just think that there aren't many men that would be ok with your plan and most of the ones that might be ok with it are severely damaged.
Right and I have no patience for needy and severely damaged.
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