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I think before this becomes a debate between pet owners and non-pet owners, I think it's important to note that trying to find patterns or algorithms in 'types' of single males or females in more foolish than anything else. Trying to draw conclusions like this about a population based on anecdotal experience is shaky at best. There is no formula for a flaky person in the dating world. Presence or absence of tattoos, pets, specific kind of pets, or other sundry qualities are not going to be reliable ways in filtering out/vetting potential mates. I don't care for tattoos, for instance, and would never want to get one. That doesn't mean that I would throw a guy in the discard pile if he had one or even several. That is way too picky - he may have many other qualities that I find attractive or interesting. To believe that guys with tattoos are more likely to pull out of a date last minute than a guy without tattoos, to use a comparable analogy, seems absurd. People just don't work that way.
While some people with pets may fall in the homebody category, many pet owners don't. Some even take trips abroad and have someone pet sit or use a boarding place. It's more about the lifestyle, and how willing someone is to have a more happening social life such as the OP pursues. I wouldn't chalk it up to pet ownership, it's all about whether the pet owning singles want to engage in similar pursuits.
I dunno. I am of the opinion that people who prefer the company of pets over people generally haven't really mastered social skills. Plus wth pets, they don't have do anything but pour kibble in their bowls.
I dunno. I am of the opinion that people who prefer the company of pets over people generally haven't really mastered social skills. Plus wth pets, they don't have do anything but pour kibble in their bowls.
Presence or absence of tattoos, pets, specific kind of pets, or other sundry qualities are not going to be reliable ways in filtering out/vetting potential mates. I don't care for tattoos, for instance, and would never want to get one. That doesn't mean that I would throw a guy in the discard pile if he had one or even several. That is way too picky - he may have many other qualities that I find attractive or interesting. To believe that guys with tattoos are more likely to pull out of a date last minute than a guy without tattoos, to use a comparable analogy, seems absurd. People just don't work that way.
Studies have been done. A man with tattoos is statistically more likely to have been involved in some type of vice such as crime than a man without tatoos. The difference is probably too small to matter for most prospective dates if they knew the statistics.
I've been off and on my online dating profile over the years and I'm starting to see a bit of a trend with some of the women I've messaged. Women who have dated men can chime in about the men as well. In my experience, and my humble opinion, childless women who are pet owners are some of the most flakiest people I've ever been around. I say this only because they're the ones that are gungho about us hanging out and then the closer the date comes to us hanging out, they start to flake.
I can count on 4 different instances where this has happened to me over the last 2 years. They weren't just cat owners, because one of them was a dog owner. I can say that a lot of their social media activity was always about what ever cat or breed of dog they had.
Don't get me wrong, I love family pets, but keyword to me is they're more of a family animal. I like to be on the move too much to truly own and care for a pet by myself. By having a pet, it would cut too much into my mountain biking or being able to schedule things on a whim.
Women, can you elaborate if this is true with men you dated or attempted to date in the past? I'm not trying to encompass that all single people with pets are flaky, but this has become something that's rather frustrating. To boot, all the women I've encountered above all had, to me, super unhealthy relationships to their pets. Almost like you were competing with a pet to spend time with them. Kind of like a perfect weekend was laying on the couch all weekend with their cat(s) and/or dog(s).
I'm just curious if there's something I'm doing terribly wrong or has someone else experienced this as well.
It's possible that if she had an inkling from something you may have indicated, like what I bolded above, one would hesitate. It seems that pet owners and non-pet people just won't click. And what is meant by being a family animal? That only families with adults and children would own pets?
I once dated a guy who, after seeing each other a long while, finally shared how he had thought (assumed) if we moved in together, I would be "getting rid of" my two cats for him. He also said that "People are better than animals". Wow. He had really kept these thoughts under wraps.
I later had a boyfriend who had a cat. We would make trips back and forth to each other's places to care for our pets, staying over at one spot, returning to the other the following day, either together or individually, depending upon plans. As another mentioned, many have a responsibilty to their animals, prior to socializing, etc.
Oh, and I have never been a "flake". I would want to be honest with someone as to not waste their time. It seems these women you "messaged" became disinterested for whatever reason and were not upfront with you, which is seemingly what too many fail at doing and is the real issue.
It's possible that if she had an inkling from something you may have indicated, like what I bolded above, one would hesitate. It seems that pet owners and non-pet people just won't click. And what is meant by being a family animal? That only families with adults and children would own pets?
I once dated a guy who, after seeing each other a long while, finally shared how he had thought (assumed) if we moved in together, I would be "getting rid of" my two cats for him. He also said that "People are better than animals". Wow. He had really kept these thoughts under wraps.
I later had a boyfriend who had a cat. We would make trips back and forth to each other's places to care for our pets, staying over at one spot, returning to the other the following day, either together or individually, depending upon plans. As another mentioned, many have a responsibilty to their animals, prior to socializing, etc.
Oh, and I have never been a "flake". I would want to be honest with someone as to not waste their time. It seems these women you "messaged" became disinterested for whatever reason and were not upfront with you, which is seemingly what too many fail at doing and is the real issue.
It was just a bit frustrating, but it's all fine now. Just have to accept people for who they are and move on.
If you aren't an animal lover it's generally best to stay away from those who are when dating.
I have a dog and a cat. I once started dating a guy who was OK with pets but wasn't really happy about them in the house. The first time he came over and saw my dog sitting by me on the couch, he got upset and said he should be the one sitting next to me, not the dog. Being jealous of a dog = red flag.
I will always prioritize my pets over other people's wants. Why shouldn't I? Adopting a pet is a big responsibility. People who don't understand that don't deserve to be in my life.
Let me rephrase, I do enjoy animals, but I have a different relationship with them. Most of my animal experience has been within a relationship. I had a relationship with a woman this past Fall and Winter who had a dog that she absolutely babied. One time she left and left me in her apartment with her poodle. The poodle had such abandonment fears that she cried till she vomited. She liked her dog sleeping in the bed, I wasn't the biggest fan, but got used to it rather quickly.
I'll meet someone who lines up with me some day and if not, at least I've experienced a long-term relationship and love before.
Let me rephrase, I do enjoy animals, but I have a different relationship with them. Most of my animal experience has been within a relationship. I had a relationship with a woman this past Fall and Winter who had a dog that she absolutely babied. One time she left and left me in her apartment with her poodle. The poodle had such abandonment fears that she cried till she vomited. She liked her dog sleeping in the bed, I wasn't the biggest fan, but got used to it rather quickly.
I'll meet someone who lines up with me some day and if not, at least I've experienced a long-term relationship and love before.
You seem like a decent enough guy. I don't think a dog should get in the way of you never having love.
I love my pets but they don't cause issues in my relationships unless, like I mentioned above, the men already come with issues. I go out, I take vacations, etc. There really is no reason to worry about dating most pet owners.
I can't see what the hell having a pet ( or a tattoo ) has to do with dating or love?.
It's incredibly stupid and short sighted to judge and brand people based on that...
Ps don'th8me great post ^^^^^ can't rep again love
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He also said that "People are better than animals". Wow. He had really kept these thoughts under wraps.
