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So I've been dating this guy. He's a very very feminine guy. He doesn't crossdress but he basically does everything else. He's actually different from any guy I've dated before not just for that reason. He's 18 and he looks generally different and he's not an *******. I have dated a lot of *******s it seems. And he and I have been seeing each and it's gone well. But in a way a different way. I don't quite feel like I'm in a relationship with a guy in like the spiritual sense and sometimes it seems more like he's one of my girl friends. But I actually like that about him. I can't really name anything I outright dislike about him. The relationship has been non sexual so far but we both intend for it not be eventually. Anyhow, I thought he was thie time like genderqueer or agender. He said yesterday that he doesn't understand gender. And therefore it doesn't make much sense to him. He was for the first 10 years of his life raised by a single mom so maybe that's why? But he said he didn't identify with the lgbt community as he doesn't identify with being transgender or bisexual. Despite wearing make up and etc and having dated a guy in the past. He didn't say he was straight either just that he didn't have a gender or sexual orientation... Is that even possible? How can someone not have a gender OR sexual preference? Advice?
Aside from last night which was actually pretty good aside from that I really do like him.
Maybe he doesn't want to be put into a box and doesn't feel the need to be pinned down to anything in particular. YOU want him to define himself so that you can figure out what to do with him! It would be a shortcut in deciding whether to go ahead with the relationship. If you don't like his indecision and don't want to figure him out for yourself then your impatience makes this relationship pretty unlikely. Otherwise...just calm down and see what happens!
Nothing ruins a relationship more than someone who over analyzes and nitpicks others. Not saying the OP is necessarily doing so, but why even ask such things on here if this guy in general is a good dude and you like him.
Enjoy the time you spend with him and stop worrying about non issues.
So if you were dating someone you thought was a woman, and she told you she doesn't really identify with a gender you would be comfortable you of what you'll get below the belt?
Hey, some guys are more laid back than others....
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Maybe he doesn't want to be put into a box and doesn't feel the need to be pinned down to anything in particular. YOU want him to define himself so that you can figure out what to do with him! It would be a shortcut in deciding whether to go ahead with the relationship. If you don't like his indecision and don't want to figure him out for yourself then your impatience makes this relationship pretty unlikely. Otherwise...just calm down and see what happens!
I just didn't think it was possible for someone not to have a sexuality. Or have a gender. I guess my thought was that he's denying a sexuality because maybe he doesn't want to be bisexual... I don't know. Maybe that's up to him to figure out whenever if ever he wants to.
So if you were dating someone you thought was a woman, and she told you she doesn't really identify with a gender you would be comfortable you of what you'll get below the belt?
Hey, some guys are more laid back than others....
I wouldn't know honestly. I am a straight woman... So I wouldn't date a girl. I've never been attracted to a woman...
Nothing ruins a relationship more than someone who over analyzes and nitpicks others. Not saying the OP is necessarily doing so, but why even ask such things on here if this guy in general is a good dude and you like him.
Enjoy the time you spend with him and stop worrying about non issues.
it's not something I focus on completely though. I was just thinking about last night and how that to me was something I never heard of before that's all.
It's becoming more common for people who previously identified somewhere along the LGBT spectrum to reject binary labels. I don't personally identify with not feeling like any one gender, but it's not really mine to judge.
Alot of youth are confused,the ancient feminine and masculine principles were obliterated by feminism, who said they didn't exist and were a social construct.
Transgender and gender confused people have long existed but they were always shamans or outliers etc.The majority of people had a clear idea of their gender.
He doesn't have to identify as anything if he doesn't want too.
He sounds confused. You sound confused, too. ~ People get warped very early in life, and life continues to warp everything after that. An 18 yr old mentality is nowhere near fully developed, so all that "c o n f u s i o n" is going to take a lifetime to figure out. In the meantime, learn to communicate and get real about what realness means to you.
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