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I am friends with one of my exes, from 15 years ago, on Facebook. He has actually been a wonderful cheerleader and confidant in this weird time of transition in my life.
For me done is done. No need to revisit or regale each other with fond memories. I've had them contact me. However, I have no interest in visiting with them. It is my prerogative.
I've never reached out to any of my ex crushes. I probably never will seeing how many of them have moved on and started families with other people. I don't hate them for that, but I don't feel anything would come of talking to them. Out of all of them, there will always be a certain fondness for one. A few guys who liked me in the past have hit me up a few times, but nothing ever came of it. Not because they weren't interested...mainly because I wasn't.
I recently reached out to an old GF from literally 25 yrs ago. I messaged her on FB and we exchanvged a few pleasantries. In the conversation she said that she was sorry how things ended and that she was worried that she hurt me. I assured her that it was all good, we were simply just kids I mean literally just kids. We had a few pleasant exchanges and she hoped that if I was ever in her town for me to look her up and I agreed.
It was the stuff of grown up mature adults, you know what I mean, it was just a nice exchange, it was a nice way to remember a fond time, a time in both of our pasts, back when we were just both children, practically.
I'm glad I reached out to her, it was nice, I told her that I no regrets about our time together and that we had a good time. It was just a different time then and we're both in hugely different places in our lives. She wished me the best and I her.....
I really feel good about that exchange.. made me feel like a grown up adult, to be able to just have a nice friendly conversation with someone from my past, and to know that she feels the same way about me.
That's how things should be... we shouldn't be hating on our past loves... we shouldn't be full of regret.. we should be happy that that person meant sometime to us, something in our past and something that adds value to our lives...............
I am probably an anomaly among males. I have remained friends to very good friends with everyone of my old girlfriends. I have attended some of their weddings, our kids have played together, our spouses know each other and we e-mail, chat, or see each other frequently. When I ran for public office, three of my old girlfriends got together and went door to door campaigning for me. Heck I just had lunch with my first love and woman I lived with when I was still in my teens on Friday. She lives two blocks away so we see each other all the time, go for walks, bike rides, lunch etc. Her husband was a student of mine.
My experience has been, if you have been in a caring relationship with someone and decide it is not right, it is very possible to part amicably. I'll never understand hostile break-ups and all the animosity.
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