Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Of course it's the answer you're looking for. You're apparently terrified of stepping out of your comfort zone and making yourself vulnerable. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you're going to accidentally find a girlfriend.
Our "ancient ancestors" may have accidentally rolled over onto each other and propagated the species, but with 7 billion people on the planet now, you should consider the possibility that you MAY have to put in some effort to get a date.
Our ancient ancestors became what we still are today, under a veneer of modernity. Everything we do or say, is superimposed on that template they established for us.
Our ancient ancestors became what we still are today, under a veneer of modernity. Everything we do or say, is superimposed on that template they established for us.
Ha! That's a hilarious cop-out (three years later).
Wouldn't it be nice if you could blame the cavemen for your behavior today when, in reality, people are much more nuanced and individual than that, and much more accountable for their choices than many would like to admit.
Probably harking back to ancient times, when I was “in the life”, but tactful/clever sounds to me to be close to being remiss with la vérité, and asking straight out, smacks of desperation.
Of course things have changed, it’s the way of the world, and it was ever thus.
Both of those scenarios were never in my book, but that was way back when, not now.
I’d get within talking distance, but stay outside her comfort zone, and open with something innocuous, like, “Nine thirty five”, when she looked surprised, just say, “I heard someone ask the time, and thought that it was you.”
Whatever her reply, she’d probably smile, and if you were streetwise, you could run with that.
After a few minutes of harmless conversation, say, “I really don’t want to go, but I arranged to have a drink with a couple of the guys later, if you’d like to continue our chat, share a bottle of wine, meet for lunch or dinner, here’s my number, give me a call, no pressure.”
Maybe it would work, maybe it’d come to nothing, but at least you’d have tried.
No harm, no foul.
Because I think it seems boring to straightforwardly ask a girl out, do you guys agree or disagree?
When I used to ask girls out I just did it straight up. This way there was no misunderstanding. While it might be boring you got your answer right there and you can move on rather than misunderstand. Otherwise you get these posts “I asked this girl out three times but she is busy washing and curling her mole hair. Do you guys think if I ask her out the 4th time she’ll say yes? “ then we dig in and find out the guy is trying this look at me I’m a cute fun guy trying some off the wall cutesy way of asking her out.
If you avoid being straight about it she might miss the cue and not go out. This happened to me. A girl and I would meet after class just to chill. She would ask me at times what I usually do on the weekends and then she would tell me what she did. I got that as just another topic we would talk about. Since we were close one day she just told me straight out she was expecting me to ask her out when we talked about what we did on weekends. Being clever or indirect didn't help. I wondered why she simply didn't ask me out but it seems that in western culture women just don't or at least as often compared to guys.
I hated the thought of being rejected. So to play it safe I would invite a girl to chill on the weekend and run an errand together. I would come up with something that wouldn’t sound too compromising to maybe make her feel more comfortable about meeting on the weekend instead of asking straight out if she wanted to join me for candle light dinner or something. So I would be like “Hey, I am going to the mall this weekend to get a shirt for my presentation. Come on, let’s go”. Going to the mall to get something doesn’t sound too compromising, right? If she said no, no problem, I still had to go to the mall anyways to get the shirt anyways. My plan would go on with or without her. If she said yes, cool! We would then go get the shirt and after that be like “I think there is this music festival in downtown. We should check it out. What do you say?” By then we would both be relaxed and chill so why not. We would end up going out to get something to eat, go to the activity, and get dinner. It worked fine for me. I don’t remember asking a girl straight out “Would you like to go out with me this weekend?” Tried to play it safe so that a rejection wouldn’t feel that bad.
Last edited by onihC; 09-12-2019 at 10:00 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
? “ then we dig in and find out the guy is trying this look at me I’m a cute fun guy trying some off the wall cutesy way of asking her out.
