Ghosting vs. Thanks but No Thanks (young, emotionally, personal, relations)
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Exactly. To me the peoplr who argue for it are just too **** scared and or self absorbed to care about the other person involved. Now if it is one date or the person seems crazy, sure I csn see ehy you would rather ghost than risk confrontation but in general, once you start having another person's feelings involved it is just polite to end it on diplomatic terms. Ignoring the person is just cold and it can leave with an array of questions as to what happened or falsehope, ehich is why my direct responsr to him i ASSUMED eould work but I guess I need to ghost him lol
Yes, I agree, so that one gets closure, because if the other person just ghosts away one keeps thinking..."Will he/she resurface? Is he/she just too busy? What's going on?" and one stays in a limp.
But a "Thanks, no thanks" is a clear message and contact of any kind is stopped.
The OP is way madder than the subject matter would dictate.
I almost wish I could somehow ghost her just to get more of a rise out of her. LOL...
People need to calm the F down a bit... some dude not calling you back isn't the end of the damn world...jezus people.....
Again, hilarious post.
But, Morena said she is not very experienced, I think she still has to build up a thicker skin, and not get too emotional, also here on the forums.
Okay here's the thing, whenever I try to be honest and upfront with a guy (which is often) he ends up taking my "hey, I am not interested" as "I am totally interested."
But whenever I have ignored a guy, he has taken the hint and left me alone for good. So men, what gives??
You all say you hate when women ghost yet dont take the hint when we tell you to YOUR FACE we dont like you. Whereas most women dont take the hint with ghosting but we often accept it when you tell us to our face directly, you are not interested.
Just observations.
But anyway, I am on my 3rd guy who has done this. I have told them "I am sorry but I just am not interested," and they will give it a few weeks and then BAM send me a stream of text, as if I did not tell them before how I was not interested.
I prefer a more direct approach. I have less respect for people who "ghost" me. To me, that implies that you have such little respect for me that I am not even worth the time it would take to explain why you wish to cease contact with me. In that case, I often toy with them since it makes me want to show them even less respect.
I've only had this happen once so far, most women I date come back for a second date, but I am very choosy with my women and most of the time let them do most of the pursuit. If I am no longer interested, I let them down as graciously as possible since that is the proper thing to do.
Again, hilarious post.
But, Morena said she is not very experienced, I think she still has to build up a thicker skin, and not get too emotional, also here on the forums.
She also has another thread wanting to do a FWB thing but then proceeds to then lambast everyone and calling them wh*res for doing FWB's..... strange sorta view on things... LOL...
Yes, what was I thinking...I should get into a situation alone with someone who has a history of domestic violence. Maybe invite a registered sex offender over, because he says he doesn't like going out...or maybe the guy who says 'bars are for losers' can't actually enter establishments that serve alcohol due to being on probation.
I wouldn't want to feel 'stalkerish' even if it means discovering his last gf has a restraining order, or 'nutty'. Yes, that's the worst possible outcome, feeling nutty.
Good luck to you.
Sorry, but what made you start a background check on him?
Do you do this with all guys you meet?
The cold hard truth is that sometimes some people suck, they are boring and they suck.
What are you supposed to say... "It's not you, it's me, You are fabulous and I just am not in a place right now to be in a relationship... I just don't think I have the courage to allow my heart to be with you... you are great, no, no really, it's just me... I just don't have it in me to go there, I thought I did, but I don't"
Or some crap like that, when in reality it is you... you suck, you're boring, your breath stinks... whatever, and people come back at you with friggin platitudes...... just ghost me... don't give me a bunch of horsehyt.... LOL...
People give all this importance to honesty, but it's crrap... most people really don't want honesty, they say they do, but they don't.
"Honestly... you're a stupid idiot and I couldn't imagine spending more time with you." LOL... do people really think that that would fly.
Some people are so full of crap it's amazing to me..... Honesty... people don't want real true honesty.... LOL.....
LoL, I could not agree more.
Never ask a question the answer to which you really do not want to know!!
LoL, I could not agree more.
Never ask a question the answer to which you really do not want to know!!
If I went out with a woman a couple of times, we met through a friend, it was a casual mutual meeting, things were pleasant.
What if I thought to myself, man, she's short, fat and sorta dumpy... I really prefer a woman with a better personality and bigger ta ta's.
LOL, do you really really want to hear that? What excuse could a man give you.. I guess he could say he's not feeling it.... but some people actually wanna know... wanna know what is the problem. LOL... do you say that.. "Hey I just couldn't imagine having sex with you cause you look like a troll..."
People don't really wanna hear the truth... they want a sanitized version of the truth....... This thread is even evidence of that. The OP really doesn't wanna know past "hey I'm not feeling it." Most people don't.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound
If I went out with a woman a couple of times, we met through a friend, it was a casual mutual meeting, things were pleasant.
What if I thought to myself, man, she's short, fat and sorta dumpy... I really prefer a woman with a better personality and bigger ta ta's.
LOL, do you really really want to hear that? What excuse could a man give you.. I guess he could say he's not feeling it.... but some people actually wanna know... wanna know what is the problem. LOL... do you say that.. "Hey I just couldn't imagine having sex with you cause you look like a troll..."
People don't really wanna hear the truth... they want a sanitized version of the truth....... This thread is even evidence of that. The OP really doesn't wanna know past "hey I'm not feeling it." Most people don't.
This is the reason for ghosting. Most people can't handle the truth.
Sorry, but what made you start a background check on him?
Do you do this with all guys you meet?
Some of the things he talked about didn't add up after our first meeting. I looked up his criminal history and civil proceedings in a public access court's site for my state. I was so successful in avoiding what could have been a bad situation that I continue to do this. This isn't a full background check, but finding information is free, and the more you know the better off you are, IMO.
It's only after I've been talking to someone long enough to get to know things about them that I would even meet them in the first place. So if everything seems good, I do check out their history. I've been able to determine that there are things that would make them "not so good relationship material". So why waste both of our time?
I've seen a lot of the dark-side of human nature and have experience with things that aren't so pleasant in life, so that makes me more practical and aware. It doesn't mean the pool of prospects is way smaller, but instead a little more work to get to a walleye instead of a small mouth bass or wormy crappie. (Sorry, I'm going fishing soon and I'm really excited about it!)
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