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Old 08-07-2016, 06:31 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 558,836 times
Reputation: 681

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Okay here's the thing, whenever I try to be honest and upfront with a guy (which is often) he ends up taking my "hey, I am not interested" as "I am totally interested."

But whenever I have ignored a guy, he has taken the hint and left me alone for good. So men, what gives??

You all say you hate when women ghost yet dont take the hint when we tell you to YOUR FACE we dont like you. Whereas most women dont take the hint with ghosting but we often accept it when you tell us to our face directly, you are not interested.

Just observations.

But anyway, I am on my 3rd guy who has done this. I have told them "I am sorry but I just am not interested," and they will give it a few weeks and then BAM send me a stream of text, as if I did not tell them before how I was not interested.
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:35 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,714 posts, read 45,923,240 times
Reputation: 47674
I'm not aware of this dynamic you speak of. I think in a way I would probably prefer the ghosting vs the other.


At least with ghosting at some point you sorta figure it out and don't have to hear that you "pretty much suck and I'm not interested in you speech." Although it's wrapped up a little more pleasant than that, but that's really what it means at the end of the day.
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:39 PM
 
Location: 🇬🇧 In jolly old London! 🇬🇧
15,671 posts, read 10,016,043 times
Reputation: 12476
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMorena View Post
Okay here's the thing, whenever I try to be honest and upfront with a guy (which is often) he ends up taking my "hey, I am not interested" as "I am totally interested."

But whenever I have ignored a guy, he has taken the hint and left me alone for good. So men, what gives??

You all say you hate when women ghost yet dont take the hint when we tell you to YOUR FACE we dont like you. Whereas most women dont take the hint with ghosting but we often accept it when you tell us to our face directly, you are not interested.

Just observations.

But anyway, I am on my 3rd guy who has done this. I have told them "I am sorry but I just am not interested," and they will give it a few weeks and then BAM send me a stream of text, as if I did not tell them before how I was not interested.
Completely dependent on the bloke in question

Most will take this hint ( well it's but even a hint as you've said it outright ) and leave you alone..... We pretty much all like a challenge or 2 but won't in million years chase one when they clearly are not interested

I'd muster a guess that the blokes you we're talking to didn't have many other options or had something else going on....
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:40 PM
 
Location: Fayetteville NC
6,385 posts, read 6,482,874 times
Reputation: 16451
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMorena View Post
Okay here's the thing, whenever I try to be honest and upfront with a guy (which is often) he ends up taking my "hey, I am not interested" as "I am totally interested."

But whenever I have ignored a guy, he has taken the hint and left me alone for good. So men, what gives??

You all say you hate when women ghost yet dont take the hint when we tell you to YOUR FACE we dont like you. Whereas most women dont take the hint with ghosting but we often accept it when you tell us to our face directly, you are not interested.

Just observations.

But anyway, I am on my 3rd guy who has done this. I have told them "I am sorry but I just am not interested," and they will give it a few weeks and then BAM send me a stream of text, as if I did not tell them before how I was not interested.

Just be flattered that they still have that ray of hope. When guys are used to not being able to interpret the drama women throw at them, you can't hardly blame them for harboring a small flame that says "maybe she changed her mind?"

Ignore that stream of text and have a moment of smug satisfaction that, hey, he's still thinking about you.

I treat other people how I want to be treated, so mostly I tell them I'm not interested rather than ghosting.
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 558,836 times
Reputation: 681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I'm not aware of this dynamic you speak of. I think in a way I would probably prefer the ghosting vs the other.


At least with ghosting at some point you sorta figure it out and don't have to hear that you "pretty much suck and I'm not interested in you speech." Although it's wrapped up a little more pleasant than that, but that's really what it means at the end of the day.
I never take it as such, I think there are numerous reasons why someone would not wish to continue seeing someone. It doesnt mean you, yourself are a hopeless disaster. Personally, I find people who ghost disgusting. To me it is such a cowardly thing to do and says a lot about the degree of selfishness that person has.


I tend to ghost only if the guy seems like he wouldnt take it well or say we had one date or something. But even then if he is messaging me seeming interested in seeking out a other date and i am not into him, i will just stop it right there as to not lead him on.
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 558,836 times
Reputation: 681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Londoncowboy30 View Post
Completely dependent on the bloke in question

Most will take this hint ( well it's but even a hint as you've said it outright ) and leave you alone..... We pretty much all like a challenge or 2 but won't in million years chase one when they clearly are not interested

I'd muster a guess that the blokes you we're talking to didn't have many other options or had something else going on....
Sorry, I dont follow. What do you mean he had "something else going on?" Or "didnt have too many options." Eitherway I told him i was not into him, so I should of been eliminated in being an option for him, because Im not lol
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:57 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,714 posts, read 45,923,240 times
Reputation: 47674
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMorena View Post
I never take it as such, I think there are numerous reasons why someone would not wish to continue seeing someone. It doesnt mean you, yourself are a hopeless disaster. Personally, I find people who ghost disgusting. To me it is such a cowardly thing to do and says a lot about the degree of selfishness that person has.


I tend to ghost only if the guy seems like he wouldnt take it well or say we had one date or something. But even then if he is messaging me seeming interested in seeking out a other date and i am not into him, i will just stop it right there as to not lead him on.

Ghosting is "disgusting" LOL... seems like that level upset would be better served toward a more deserving subject, say child molesters. LOL....
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:57 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 558,836 times
Reputation: 681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
Just be flattered that they still have that ray of hope. When guys are used to not being able to interpret the drama women throw at them, you can't hardly blame them for harboring a small flame that says "maybe she changed her mind?"

Ignore that stream of text and have a moment of smug satisfaction that, hey, he's still thinking about you.

I treat other people how I want to be treated, so mostly I tell them I'm not interested rather than ghosting.
I am the same way too, I rather a guy tell me directly than disappear because a. They usually do it after a few months or weeks of dating so it is so random and feekings have already developed. Verbal directness creates instant closure instead of questions like why? What happened? Are they just busy? Or not into me anymore?
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Old 08-07-2016, 06:58 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in a Field of Hopes and Dreams
596 posts, read 558,836 times
Reputation: 681
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
Ghosting is "disgusting" LOL... seems like that level upset would be better served toward a more deserving subject, say child molesters. LOL....
Communications and Theater major. I am very expressive and no, ghosters are disgusting cowards.
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Old 08-07-2016, 07:00 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,714 posts, read 45,923,240 times
Reputation: 47674
Quote:
Originally Posted by MMorena View Post
Communications and Theater major. I am very expressive and no, ghosters are disgusting cowards.

LOL... really? I guess I'm parsing words a bit much here, but disgusting is what our current political race is, some dude not returning your calls???? Disgusting??? LOL...
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