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Women have the keys to the car. And men want to drive a car 24 hours a day. If you are constantly handing the keys to different men after barely meeting them, why purchase when you could lease? The old adage that women always know when they are going to have sex is so true. Quit making it so obvious when, and I bet courtship will once again prevail.
Just withholding sex is not going to let courtship and romance prevail again.
Contrary to what many women believe, sex is not the only thing on a man's mind when he courts a woman, at least not for the type of man who would be willing to romance said woman.
That belief -- that men ONLY think about sex -- is actually part of the problem. Since that is what many women believe, sex is the only thing many women think they need to offer. And with that, since men aren't getting what they REALLY want in the courting process, romance withers.
And I don't see the fun or excitement in battling over who's going to pay for dinner, or debating who should open a car door. But that's just me...
Me too.
When we start worrying too much about what we "should" be doing, rather than what we want to do or feel comfortable doing, the romance, the spontaneity, the fun, just goes by the wayside.
Just withholding sex is not going to let courtship and romance prevail again.
Contrary to what many women believe, sex is not the only thing on a man's mind when he courts a woman, at least not for the type of man who would be willing to romance said woman.
That belief -- that men ONLY think about sex -- is actually part of the problem. Since that is what many women believe, sex is the only thing many women think they need to offer. And with that, since men aren't getting what they REALLY want in the courting process, romance withers.
I'm not worried about what men think about. I'm saying that a woman has a better chance of finding out a man's true intentions by holding off.
Besides, a lot of men don't particularly care for a woman who is "easy." If she's easy with him than what about the one before? And what happens when they go through a rough spot and break up for a few weeks? Who's she jumping into bed with then?
I think it's more romantic when a man pays for a date. A manly man would be insulted if a woman threw open her wallet and insisted on paying.
Well I offer to pay b/c I don't like to seem like I am making assumptions BUT even though I consider myself a feminist I do appreciate chivalry & I don't think I could really shake it if the guy took my money. It's just a respect thing to me. I am always polite enough to offer to pay my way but yeah in the beginning, especially on a first date it would seem off to me if the man took my money. Perhaps it was the way I was raised - I don't know - but it isn't about the actual money it is about the statement in underlying values I guess?
ETA: Just in case it wasn't clear I am a very proud feminist. Of course I think what people forget is that feminism is just the radical notion that women are human beings also, and beyond that, like any movement there can be different factions with different ideologies. But I don't think appreciating respect & chivalry precludes me from being a feminist & supporting issues such as equal pay etc.
Last edited by b75; 02-26-2008 at 11:25 PM..
Reason: ETA thoughts on feminism
I'm a single woman and almost never run across men who aren't romantic in the courting phase of a relationship. It's only later when you're past courting that romance fades and there has to be a conscious effort to make romantic gestures.
Romance is dying because we don't have time for it. It's got nothing to do with women's lib or feminism. Romance takes imagination and planning sometimes, and it just becomes another chore or errand to stop by the florist or to clean the house and put candles everywhere. Romance has also been quantified and commercialized for us to the point that we think that every marriage proposal has to be this grand production and that every Valentine's day must include certain elements. We're just letting ourselves let someone else tell us what is romantic so we don't have to think about it ourselves.
The most romantic moments are those that aren't planned ahead.
I agree. Romance is what you make it to be. It can be letting your partner sleep in longer on a sat morning. Making breakfast for them. simple is often the most thoughtful and easiest to do. Romance doesnt have to be a huge gesture, and people put to much into it having to cost money, the more that is spent the more it means. But ladies dont get me wrong, you have to give romance to get romance, you cant expect your hubby or bf to give you all this romance if your not willing to create some yourself.
Even if it has been a romance rut (no romance for a while) sometimes you might have to give a bit more effort a few times before he catchs on, dont give up.
There are plenty of Nice Guys out there.
And it should be easy for a Smart, Fast Woman to catch one.
Just watch the Rat Race go by and grab the guy in last place.
Because Nice Guys always finish last.
Unfortunately, there is no way to identify who is in last place in the relationship game. But many of these guys lead the pack in other less obvious things. The race where they are seldom in the top of the pack is in superficail attributes.
I think romance diminished when women gave themselves so unselectively. Mind you, I am no prude at all, but I believe in holding back until you have had a chance to appraise the situation. Is he worth it? But that's just me; however I do believe that
when women started giving themselves so freely, men didn't have to do a darn thing to get them into bed. So goodbye romance, no more wooing. Of course this is not to say there are no romantic men out there. There are!
And women suspect they are either gay or emotional cripples. Inexperience is not an adequate excuse.
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THANK YOU! 
, and then we complain about it....
