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And strangely, when one spouse knows he/she is about to lose the other, sparks kick in. Go figure.
Not always, my ex knew she would lose me eventually, sure she was angry, upset, and hurt! When the time came, it was her fault, and she knew there wasn't a damn thing she could do about! In the long run, maybe it was actually a relief to her to know that someone else would take care of me. I've had a successful marriage for 13 years now, this definitely should have sent a message to her. The ex did end up finding another chump. and that marriage failed within a year. Now she lives a "happy life" as a cat lady at 45, totally undateable!
No matter to either side , it's far too late in the marraige to "judge" per 'se.....and the gentleman in question is envisioning a wet dream if he thinks he's going to retire all fat and happy without having to pay dearly (financially) for it. Retirement opens a whole new set of lifestyle issues if things aren't nailed down. Clearly they aren't for your friend.
At a minimum ; if they remain married he'll have to buy a nice home for the wife to retire in, as well as at least a nice condo for the conjugal visits with the honey.
Who gets the retirement era attention ? Wife and kids?....or the honey's kids? Who gets to be Mrs Claus on Christmas? Who gets the respective Grandpa and Grandma titles with all of the grandkiddies? All of this stuff will rear it's ugly head unless he either reaches a well understood agreement, or leaves. Both will cost .....life choices can be expensive.
His best cased scenario, if affordable, is to pay the wife to stay out of the way of his real love life, and have clearly set boundaries with all of the respective children and their families. Otherwise , a divorce in the long run will only cost slightly more if they can agree on things.
---------When that happens, pretty much buyers remorse sets in-------
I remember a time when buyers remorse set in, one hour after I first went somewhere with a certain woman. I wonder how some guy who might have gotten stuck with her for life might have felt?
See you in next week's "wife won't have sex anymore" thread.
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