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I have to admit that I am a bit shy and I sometimes feel like I don't present myself correctly. I really think my poor social skills is the main problem.
There is a cute girl that works at a gas station I sometimes shop at. I somewhat try to let her know I'm interested, but do you think that hitting on a cashier is inappropriate? How should I flirt with her? I want to overcome my fear of talking to her, even if I get rejected.
I don't think its inappropriate if there's no other customers shes attending to, or on her break.
Next time you're in there, wait until there's no customers and strike up a conversation while you're checking out.
Start off with "hows you're day today, (look at her badge if she has one and address her by her name)?" "how long have you been working here, Mandy" (we will call her Mandy). "Is that all the different types of condoms you carry in here, Mandy?"
You get my point . Relax, talk to her like you would talk to a good friend. And you don't have to ask her out on your first attempt. Get to know her a bit.
I have to admit that I am a bit shy and I sometimes feel like I don't present myself correctly. I really think my poor social skills is the main problem.
There is a cute girl that works at a gas station I sometimes shop at. I somewhat try to let her know I'm interested, but do you think that hitting on a cashier is inappropriate? How should I flirt with her? I want to overcome my fear of talking to her, even if I get rejected.
Have you has ANY indication from her?
All I would do is the next time I'm in there and whilst at the counter, she will no doubt ask " how's you today? " . ( customer service and all )..... I would say " Well I'm all the better now for seeing you my love "...
As long as it comes across as natural...It'll make her smile and that would be my in
If you can show your enthusiasm and joy at seeing her .... Even with a smile then she will be much more receptive of you
Okay, I was in your shoes not too long ago and I started dating and having sex and "relationships" and I will be honest: it is NOT WORTH IT.
Save your time and money and focus on yourself and not some female. You do NOT have to change anything about you for female approval, and you do not have to modify your body to suit the female gaze. You are absolutely, 100% perfect the way you are.
If you want to bulk up, that is doable with time and effort and money (food isn't free and neither is GMC weight gainer, I've been there) However, only do so if it is really for YOU and not some female.
Go ahead, study, have fun, work out, and most of all, find a group of supportive male friends. Trust me, achieving your OWN goals and doing things for YOU will fulfill you a lot more than doing something for a female or for female approval.
A relationship is a lot of fundamental compromises, and I don't mean where to eat and what movie to see. Your entire lifestyle, dislikes, what you make, where you go and who you hang out with is suddenly put into question. Trust me, after you make one change to achieve female approval, you will find yourself making more and more and before you know it you will be looking in the mirror, not knowing what you've done to yourself and not recognizing the person staring back at you. And even after that the person you have become will be reminded day after day that you "still aren't good enough for her."
Don't struggle at dating, instead thrive at being your authentic self. Every man is a son of the Father, and the Father does not make any man a lesser being, but some men choose to be. And yes, beating yourself over the head because you do not have the approval of some woman is choosing to be less than you deserve to be. Just be you and that is enough. A man needs a woman like an oyster needs an Ipod.
I think it's just your low self esteem mate that's ALL...
Personally if I were you I'd concentrate on the board exam then getting a job and once you've got that out of the way you WILL start to feel more positive and happy about yourself and you'll feel much better in the way you " present yourself ".
Then with your new founded inner glow and stable lifestyle things will happen I'm sure mate
I have to agree with LC. Just wanted to second what he says.
Quote:
Originally Posted by victorianpunk
Okay, I was in your shoes not too long ago and I started dating and having sex and "relationships" and I will be honest: it is NOT WORTH IT.
Save your time and money and focus on yourself and not some female. You do NOT have to change anything about you for female approval, and you do not have to modify your body to suit the female gaze. You are absolutely, 100% perfect the way you are.
If you want to bulk up, that is doable with time and effort and money (food isn't free and neither is GMC weight gainer, I've been there) However, only do so if it is really for YOU and not some female.
Go ahead, study, have fun, work out, and most of all, find a group of supportive male friends. Trust me, achieving your OWN goals and doing things for YOU will fulfill you a lot more than doing something for a female or for female approval.
A relationship is a lot of fundamental compromises, and I don't mean where to eat and what movie to see. Your entire lifestyle, dislikes, what you make, where you go and who you hang out with is suddenly put into question. Trust me, after you make one change to achieve female approval, you will find yourself making more and more and before you know it you will be looking in the mirror, not knowing what you've done to yourself and not recognizing the person staring back at you. And even after that the person you have become will be reminded day after day that you "still aren't good enough for her."
Don't struggle at dating, instead thrive at being your authentic self. Every man is a son of the Father, and the Father does not make any man a lesser being, but some men choose to be. And yes, beating yourself over the head because you do not have the approval of some woman is choosing to be less than you deserve to be. Just be you and that is enough. A man needs a woman like an oyster needs an Ipod.
You are right in that men and women individually don't need each other and it's better to be alone than in a bad relationship.
But I think maybe I have a little more variety of relationships than you because I've been in relationships like you describe where you end up changing who you are and I've also been in ones that are nothing like you describe and I (and my boyfriend) didn't change a thing. And my experience is if you are in a relationship where you have to make major compromises and changes to accommodate the other person and still don't feel "good enough", then you are in a relationship with the wrong person/someone who isn't a true match for you. Like with friends, in a good relationship you don't have to try to fit in, you just do by nature.
I have to admit that I am a bit shy and I sometimes feel like I don't present myself correctly. I really think my poor social skills is the main problem.
There is a cute girl that works at a gas station I sometimes shop at. I somewhat try to let her know I'm interested, but do you think that hitting on a cashier is inappropriate? How should I flirt with her? I want to overcome my fear of talking to her, even if I get rejected.
Just say something short and nice to her while you are at the counter.
"Hi, just the coffee?"
"Yep."
"One fifty three......out of two."
Here's your chance!
"How's your day going?"
"Pretty good....here is your change."
"Thanks...see you later."
Then gradually keep making small comments to her till she picks you out from all the other zillion customers.
If she's interested she may flirt back.
"Hi....back again for coffee?"
"Yep! You make the best coffee!"
"Here's your change."
"What? You want my number? I'm playing... See you later?"
Being unemployed and at home after college while job-searching, taking board exams, etc. -- there's nothing wrong with that. And it's not that uncommon that guys graduate without having a serious relationship, or even without having dated. So many students these days have to work their way through college, many don't have time for dating--it's a real distraction, after all. Some go through college too shy to date. There are many reasons why men and women both reach 22 without having had a relationship. So don't beat yourself up about it. And don't worry; you won't be marked for life because of this.
How big is your town? Try getting involved in some clubs, sports groups, non-profits, anything to get you out and circulating and meeting people.
From someone who could be your aunt!
These are words of wisdom! You have graduated from college, you have boards to take ( law?), you are on the right track to a great future! Stay on task. Allow yourself to mature more. Your accomplishment(s) and goal setting is attractive to ladies looking for a decent man to cultivate a relationship with. Your activities should include YOUR interests, etc and where you will meet others with similar interests and values.
Treat the ladies with respect and behave like a gentleman. You don't need to start putting notches on your belt. Yuck! Why would you want to attract skanky girls? As for your facial hair..as long as you are clean cut and trimmed ( as in job search-ready) it is not a problem. Relax, stay on task. No one has it all together at your age. You are already ahead of others!
Besides the fact that I'm very thin, I feel confident about my looks. I don't really think that's what the problem is.
Here are a couple of pics I took a couple of days ago after getting back home from the gym. Anybody want to call me ugly? You're more than welcome to. Just know that I still feel confident about my looks. I don't feel confident about other areas.
I will agree with others and say that looks are not your problem. I also agree that you should shave that scruff off, it will reveal your jawline in a better way. Then you'll be set to swoop that gas station girl off her feet!
I have to admit that I am a bit shy and I sometimes feel like I don't present myself correctly. I really think my poor social skills is the main problem.
There is a cute girl that works at a gas station I sometimes shop at. I somewhat try to let her know I'm interested, but do you think that hitting on a cashier is inappropriate? How should I flirt with her? I want to overcome my fear of talking to her, even if I get rejected.
Problems with social skills is one of the main problems for the majority of people struggle in the dating realm. Expectations that are too high are another one.
As far as the cashier, you should engage with her in a variety of ways to get to know her... sometimes serious, sometimes fun and playful. This will help to develop your social skills. If the two of you seem to hit it off over time, then you can ask her out.
My advice would be to take an acting class. You'd be surprised at what it can do for you and how you are perceived.
This is good advice- acting or improv classes.
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. Relax, talk to her like you would talk to a good friend. And you don't have to ask her out on your first attempt. Get to know her a bit.
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