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I don't know, if you want to date an independent career woman, that's how it goes. You have to be secure enough to know that she's busy and you're not always the top priority. I married one and have wished that we had more time to spend together over the years but we manage.
How much sleep does an executive assistant need anyway? How old is she? I could get by on 3 hours of sleep when I was younger if I had to.
That was my first thought, and if I continue to date her, that will likely be the most ideal scenario. Weeknights will probably just be for short type of dates.
However, she's going away this weekend for Labor Day, and last weekend she went away as well. That's what I meant by social lifestyle.
Yeah, time flew up by a lot cause we were in a talking frenzy, haha.
Too many expectations on someone you just met. You had a nice time, but she has a job and a life that doesn't stop just because you met. You hit it off, so the next logical step is to arrange another date, not borrow trouble by making wild assumptions about what you think "should" happen.
I don't know, if you want to date an independent career woman, that's how it goes. You have to be secure enough to know that she's busy and you're not always the top priority. I married one and have wished that we had more time to spend together over the years but we manage.
How much sleep does an executive assistant need anyway? How old is she? I could get by on 3 hours of sleep when I was younger if I had to.
She's 25.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
Too many expectations on someone you just met. You had a nice time, but she has a job and a life that doesn't stop just because you met. You hit it off, so the next logical step is to arrange another date, not borrow trouble by making wild assumptions about what you think "should" happen.
You're right, I mentioned that in my opening post.
Well I'll just throw this out here.. You say you like hard-working independent type women. But then take issue with them being unavailable at certain times, or for anything spontaneous and long lasting.... Plus, you met this woman on a dating app - a place for busy-bodies to find dates since they are "too busy" to meet people IRL, right ?! See where I'm going with this ? . . . . Reminds me of a friend who met this woman who was a "total catch", great career, driven, a real "go-getter". . . Then he spent months comlaining she was always "busy with work", didn't reply to texts fast enough, and she didn't have time for him. By the end of it, he felt neglected & rejected. ~ Yes, maybe you should date women that are more available to suit your dating needs. Try to stay off the apps. Be spontaneous yourself and meet a woman that way.
Plus, you met this woman on a dating app - a place for busy-bodies to find dates since they are "too busy" to meet people IRL, right ?! See where I'm going with this ? . . . .
Online can be a great place to encounter someone with similar interests that one might not ordinarily come across in their everyday life.
IMO, there's absolutely no need for the OP to trash the idea wholesale.
So I had a 1st date last night with a woman I met off an app called Dine (one of the newest dating apps launched like a couple to a few months ago) after talking for about a week and half or so.
However, it seems like with most of the other women I've encountered. She apparently seems too busy to date due to her job (she's an executive assistant at a private equity firm), and social lifestyle.
Dinner date lasted around 2 to 2 and half hours (8:30 to like 10:30-11), and I had planned to ask her if she wanted to walk around east/village downtown a bit while getting ice cream after we left (our date was in that area), but before I could ask, she said she had to leave since she had to wake up very early for her job and there would be important meetings and what not (like 6-7 AM, and definitely didn't lie about that due to our previous text convos before meeting up).
She apologized, but did say she'd be open to seeing me again. She had mentioned a place she wanted to go to during our date convo, and so asked her for a 2nd date to go to that place. She agreed, and said she'd pick up the check that time since I paid for our 1st date.
However, it just seems that I can never find a woman that's open to a long spontaneous type of date. It's almost always specifically planned, and never lasts long. Like, if I wanted to invite her out to some place out of the blue for example, or extend the date afterwards.
People are busy and have jobs/lives, that's understandable. I don't know if I'm just ranting, or just trying to figure out if I need to change the type of women I'm attracted to, lol.
I'm definitely attracted to hard-working independent type women, but it seems a lot of them never really have time to date so to speak (at least the ones I've encountered anyway).
You had a dinner date on a Thursday night. What did you expect?
What's more, she said that she'd like to see you again. I mean, what are you complaining about?
If you want a longer, more spontaneous date, well the Labor Day weekend is upon us. Knock yourself out.
That was my first thought, and if I continue to date her, that will likely be the most ideal scenario. Weeknights will probably just be for short type of dates.
.
The other question is, why did you wait until 8:30 to begin the date? That's awfully late for dinner. If you'd started at 7 or 7:30, you could have fit everything in. Was 8:30 the earliest she was available?
2.5 hours on a first date starting at 8:30 on a week night? Sounds like you need to change your approach to first dates rather than the type of women you are going for.
Yes, weeknight dates just scream to me of "I don't want to possibly waste a weekend on a first date so let's meet on a crappy Wed. night when I have nothing to do, even laundry".
So I don't know if you or she selected a weeknight but it puts a natural damper on the length of date, at least if you're both employed!
I never liked super-long first dates. Even if the date is wonderful, there is a degree of stress involved and I want to be able to go home and process everything, THEN think about possibly a second date.
Why can even a great first date feel stressful? You want to make a good impression, you don't know yet really what the person is like or what he's thinking, you're so worried about your makeup smearing or something being on your teeth or saying something stupid, often you're out of your element and so on. You (or I, anyway!) may begin to get the feeling that the date is being made "super long" so as to create artificial REALLY FAST intimacy and the assumption there (like it or not) is that it's because the guy wants to hurry the process up so he can get to the pants-dropping part. "See? Look at allllllllll this intimacy! Look HOW MUCH time we've just spent together! Obviously there's some real giant connection here on the very first night, which means it's okay to you-know...right?" (As I said, I realize this may be an unfair assumption because this may not be the guy's thought process at all, but that feeling is there.)
It just gets uncomfortable...on a first date I want a first taste, not a marathon, like a Cliff's Notes race to the finish line or something by shoving as much as possible into ONE apparently all-important night. God, the pressure! I want a couple of good, interesting hours that leave me wanting to find out more the next time, and have me not have to resent the guy for trying to force me to stay there for ridiculous lengths of time while in the background everything else is pressing - especially if I have work the next day. That definitely doesn't create a positive feeling nor make me want another date.
I'll bet there are other women who feel this way about first dates, and don't want to extend them well beyond that 2-ish hour length.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,957,550 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
The other question is, why did you wait until 8:30 to begin the date? That's awfully late for dinner. If you'd started at 7 or 7:30, you could have fit everything in.
It isn't in NYC
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