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Dating is just hard these days. People have A.D.D. when it comes to dating and relationships. I've said that before on here, and its true. I'm a rare guy in that I've always been a one woman man, even in my 20's. But I never had any problems dating then, despite being a shy introvert. Guess my looks helped me overcome it then. But now I'm a middle aged introvert in a city thats not home for me. When you only rely on online dating, you're setting yourself up for disappointment due to the fickle nature of people online. Surely there's another way. Meetups and church don't work for me where I live. I'm tapped out of ideas. I don't approach women in grocery stores or coffee shops or bars. However, that needs to change. I'm about to get some in person dating coaching to get over my fear of rejection or whatever it is so I can approach randon women. Seems like the only way at this point.
Where did you get that? I've dated a lot, but not in the last 2 years. It gets harder with age and dating has changed a ton in the last decade. But yes, I have a lot of dating experience.
Dating is just hard these days. People have A.D.D. when it comes to dating and relationships. I've said that before on here, and its true. I'm a rare guy in that I've always been a one woman man, even in my 20's. But I never had any problems dating then, despite being a shy introvert. Guess my looks helped me overcome it then. But now I'm a middle aged introvert in a city thats not home for me. When you only rely on online dating, you're setting yourself up for disappointment due to the fickle nature of people online. Surely there's another way. Meetups and church don't work for me where I live. I'm tapped out of ideas. I don't approach women in grocery stores or coffee shops or bars. However, that needs to change. I'm about to get some in person dating coaching to get over my fear of rejection or whatever it is so I can approach randon women. Seems like the only way at this point.
It sounds like your problem is that you never had to work to attract women because you're a good-looking guy, which is a solid strategy when you are young.
I've met older men that are successful daters. From what I've seen, they're all established in their careers and are confident and charming. None are particularly good-looking (though all have stayed in good shape for their age).
Recently I've met two men from OLD in person, but neither went past the first date. I just wasn't attracted to them physically or we lacked chemistry. The second man confessed that he didn't have a job. People misrepresent themselves online and this is the most frustrating part. I realize that only 2 isn't enough and I need to meet more from OLD, but it's just exhausting. This is why I've been trying to find ways to meet men in real life thinking it would be less hassle.
I've also briefly dated a few men from Meetup, but some red flags would come up and I would have to end it. For instance, they would tell me they weren't interested in having children someday or just disliked children in general, and I would raise an eyebrow. Another man I met from Meetup said that he initiated a fight in a bar because someone insulted his favorite sports team *eyeroll*. When you meet someone for the first time it's hard to tell if they are a wack-job or not, but then again maybe I'm not choosing them right.
I consider myself attractive and men show interest in me all the time, but obviously there needs to be a "connection" beyond physical attraction, and I have to be attracted to them back, lol.
My last serious relationship was 4 years ago and I loved that person very much. We split for a lot of reasons and we just outgrew it. I've been looking for someone new since that time and just haven't found the right person.
TLDR; I've gone through lots of trial-and-error. Mostly I have initiated the rejection (but not every time) because I'm looking for someone that is really special, as cheesy as that sounds.
Where is your picture?
Don't you know guys are visual creatures?
Get the best picture of you highlighting your best features and post that on your profile. Someone has to see your picture and swipe right.
Recently I've met two men from OLD in person, but neither went past the first date. I just wasn't attracted to them physically or we lacked chemistry. The second man confessed that he didn't have a job. People misrepresent themselves online and this is the most frustrating part. I realize that only 2 isn't enough and I need to meet more from OLD, but it's just exhausting. This is why I've been trying to find ways to meet men in real life thinking it would be less hassle.
I've also briefly dated a few men from Meetup, but some red flags would come up and I would have to end it. For instance, they would tell me they weren't interested in having children someday or just disliked children in general, and I would raise an eyebrow. Another man I met from Meetup said that he initiated a fight in a bar because someone insulted his favorite sports team *eyeroll*. When you meet someone for the first time it's hard to tell if they are a wack-job or not, but then again maybe I'm not choosing them right.
I consider myself attractive and men show interest in me all the time, but obviously there needs to be a "connection" beyond physical attraction, and I have to be attracted to them back, lol.
My last serious relationship was 4 years ago and I loved that person very much. We split for a lot of reasons and we just outgrew it. I've been looking for someone new since that time and just haven't found the right person.
TLDR; I've gone through lots of trial-and-error. Mostly I have initiated the rejection (but not every time) because I'm looking for someone that is really special, as cheesy as that sounds.
Missed this post.
But I understand now. You're super picky and no guy is good enough.
I'm a single, successful 29 year old woman living 20 miles north of Boston but banging my head against a brick wall because I am still alone...and I'm just not sure what I am doing wrong?
Everyone says not to 'force it' and just let it happen naturally, well ok but I've been living north of Boston for almost 6 years now, and I still haven't met the person of my dreams. I've been seriously considering moving out of the state. Is the dating scene just really horrible here and maybe it's easier to meet people in other parts of the US? Most of the other women I know my age are also single and that scares me. I'm thinking about finding a new job in the DC area and moving there if my life doesn't change in the next year.
I go to work full time during the day (I work in IT, 9- 5) and commute into Boston in the evenings for graduate school. I've met a few people at school but so far struggling to find someone I could date. Heck, I've even had trouble forming real friendships at all for that matter, let alone dating a guy. It seems like most people already have their social circles set up and they rarely venture out to meet new people.
I own my own place and I like it so moving closer to the city isn't an option for me, and I just prefer living in the suburbs where it is more quiet and less party animal types in their 20's. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down with someone.
I've tried groups like Meetup and online dating, but just haven't had any lasting success. People flake out, move away, or they get into relationships and hunker down. Making real friendships seems to be even harder than finding a date as a late twenty-something. But where are all the single men that are actually looking to meet somebody?
My work schedule plus studying part time doesn't allow much time for volunteering or other really intensive activities. I go to the gym and do yoga, run outside, but everyone is always in their own zone.
I'm at my wits end and I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.
I am 31 and single. I am really shy with the opposite sex. I have had 2 girlfriends. I have accepted my circumstances. You also have to remember that CHANGE is one of the most difficult thing for a human to do. It's easier said than do. My happiness comes from within not from the outside. A woman can supplement my happiness but never be the source of my happiness.
I have a lot of hobbies, a great career, and travel frequently. It's a little lonely when i travel since it's mostly solo but i make sure to have an action pack vacation schedule.
I've worked out at a number of gyms. With the exception of classes where it is a smaller setting where you regularly see the same faces, it doesn't seem like people really do more than just staring at the gym when on bikes, ellipticals, weights etc.I always just have to lol at the gym comments because it's such a 1980s way of meeting someone.
Anyway I'm a little older than the OP (and female) and in the same boat as the OP. While people say "Oh 29 is still young!" assuming you want to be a mother and have biological kids and not have a "high risk pregnancy" it isn't young. This is my situation.
OP, I'll be frank with you, our age bracket is the ADD and socially inept generation. People either don't know how to talk to people unless it's through a text message or Kik, or they get bored after a couple of dates and move on with someone else and then repeat the same pattern. All my friends who are in the same age group as me are single. The ones that are 10+ years older are happily married.
I've worked out at a number of gyms. With the exception of classes where it is a smaller setting where you regularly see the same faces, it doesn't seem like people really do more than just staring at the gym when on bikes, ellipticals, weights etc.I always just have to lol at the gym comments because it's such a 1980s way of meeting someone.
Anyway I'm a little older than the OP (and female) and in the same boat as the OP. While people say "Oh 29 is still young!" assuming you want to be a mother and have biological kids and not have a "high risk pregnancy" it isn't young. This is my situation.
OP, I'll be frank with you, our age bracket is the ADD and socially inept generation. People either don't know how to talk to people unless it's through a text message or Kik, or they get bored after a couple of dates and move on with someone else and then repeat the same pattern. All my friends who are in the same age group as me are single. The ones that are 10+ years older are happily married.
This is not my experience. I'm 29 and many people that I know are married.
One couple actually met at the gym lol.
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