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Old 09-03-2016, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Seminole County
25 posts, read 18,043 times
Reputation: 41

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I'm a single, successful 29 year old woman living 20 miles north of Boston but banging my head against a brick wall because I am still alone...and I'm just not sure what I am doing wrong?

Everyone says not to 'force it' and just let it happen naturally, well ok but I've been living north of Boston for almost 6 years now, and I still haven't met the person of my dreams. I've been seriously considering moving out of the state. Is the dating scene just really horrible here and maybe it's easier to meet people in other parts of the US? Most of the other women I know my age are also single and that scares me. I'm thinking about finding a new job in the DC area and moving there if my life doesn't change in the next year.

I go to work full time during the day (I work in IT, 9- 5) and commute into Boston in the evenings for graduate school. I've met a few people at school but so far struggling to find someone I could date. Heck, I've even had trouble forming real friendships at all for that matter, let alone dating a guy. It seems like most people already have their social circles set up and they rarely venture out to meet new people.

I own my own place and I like it so moving closer to the city isn't an option for me, and I just prefer living in the suburbs where it is more quiet and less party animal types in their 20's. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down with someone.

I've tried groups like Meetup and online dating, but just haven't had any lasting success. People flake out, move away, or they get into relationships and hunker down. Making real friendships seems to be even harder than finding a date as a late twenty-something. But where are all the single men that are actually looking to meet somebody?

My work schedule plus studying part time doesn't allow much time for volunteering or other really intensive activities. I go to the gym and do yoga, run outside, but everyone is always in their own zone.

I'm at my wits end and I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.
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Old 09-03-2016, 08:54 PM
 
594 posts, read 340,789 times
Reputation: 270
Actually, you're still young. I'm 45 and single, so don't feel bad. It's tough out there for a single person. I'm doing online dating because it's convenient. I can't imagine that bar hopping, club hopping and whatever else people do to find a single member of the opposite sex would yield better results. I've had a few interesting dates through OLD but I've had the most success at my place of work, although that can be tricky. I remain hopeful...and so should you.
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Old 09-03-2016, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Eugene, Oregon
11,097 posts, read 4,471,715 times
Reputation: 16479
Quote:
Originally Posted by mellowdrama View Post
I'm a single, successful 29 year old woman living 20 miles north of Boston but banging my head against a brick wall because I am still alone...and I'm just not sure what I am doing wrong?

Everyone says not to 'force it' and just let it happen naturally, well ok but I've been living north of Boston for almost 6 years now, and I still haven't met the person of my dreams. I've been seriously considering moving out of the state. Is the dating scene just really horrible here and maybe it's easier to meet people in other parts of the US? Most of the other women I know my age are also single and that scares me. I'm thinking about finding a new job in the DC area and moving there if my life doesn't change in the next year.

I go to work full time during the day (I work in IT, 9- 5) and commute into Boston in the evenings for graduate school. I've met a few people at school but so far struggling to find someone I could date. Heck, I've even had trouble forming real friendships at all for that matter, let alone dating a guy. It seems like most people already have their social circles set up and they rarely venture out to meet new people.

I own my own place and I like it so moving closer to the city isn't an option for me, and I just prefer living in the suburbs where it is more quiet and less party animal types in their 20's. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down with someone.

I've tried groups like Meetup and online dating, but just haven't had any lasting success. People flake out, move away, or they get into relationships and hunker down. Making real friendships seems to be even harder than finding a date as a late twenty-something. But where are all the single men that are actually looking to meet somebody?

My work schedule plus studying part time doesn't allow much time for volunteering or other really intensive activities. I go to the gym and do yoga, run outside, but everyone is always in their own zone.

I'm at my wits end and I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.
Until I read that you already go to a gym and run, that's what i was going to suggest. But I will recommend that you try moving to a different gym. One that is larger, close to a college and frequented mainly by people your age or younger. It's always the best place to meet good people of the kind who live healthy lives and one of which might be a good match for you. Some guy there might find that you are just who he was hoping to meet. But don't be shy and fail to be friendly towards someone who seems pleasing to you.
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Old 09-03-2016, 09:18 PM
 
2,760 posts, read 2,528,884 times
Reputation: 4622
Try Tinder? Sexually suggestive photos with a profile containing "No Hookups". That bait gets me every time...every...time
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Old 09-03-2016, 09:21 PM
 
102 posts, read 64,589 times
Reputation: 79
Quote:
Originally Posted by mellowdrama View Post
I'm a single, successful 29 year old woman . . . and I still haven't met the person of my dreams.

I'm at my wits end and I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.
Try Tinder until you meet your soulmate or figure it out
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Old 09-03-2016, 10:42 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
90,987 posts, read 87,651,288 times
Reputation: 98235
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve McDonald View Post
Until I read that you already go to a gym and run, that's what i was going to suggest. But I will recommend that you try moving to a different gym. One that is larger, close to a college and frequented mainly by people your age or younger. It's always the best place to meet good people of the kind who live healthy lives and one of which might be a good match for you. Some guy there might find that you are just who he was hoping to meet. But don't be shy and fail to be friendly towards someone who seems pleasing to you.
I can vouch for this. The gyms in university zones tend to be pretty friendly, and it's not only uni students who use them. But as you know, uni students include people in the late 20's. After you're done with grad school, you'll have time available for joining hobby or activity groups, volunteering, etc., to meet people. It sounds like you're pretty busy now, and that commute must take time out of your day, as well.
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Old 09-04-2016, 12:30 AM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
25,711 posts, read 37,571,392 times
Reputation: 37447
As a current resident of the DC area, I would not recommend moving here to solve dating problems, trust me on this. From what you describe you will encounter the same problems here. I think you should wait till grad school is done and get that off your plate, then you can rock and roll on dating.
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Old 09-04-2016, 04:16 AM
 
65 posts, read 57,501 times
Reputation: 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by mellowdrama View Post
I'm a single, successful 29 year old woman living 20 miles north of Boston but banging my head against a brick wall because I am still alone...and I'm just not sure what I am doing wrong?

Everyone says not to 'force it' and just let it happen naturally, well ok but I've been living north of Boston for almost 6 years now, and I still haven't met the person of my dreams. I've been seriously considering moving out of the state. Is the dating scene just really horrible here and maybe it's easier to meet people in other parts of the US? Most of the other women I know my age are also single and that scares me. I'm thinking about finding a new job in the DC area and moving there if my life doesn't change in the next year.

I go to work full time during the day (I work in IT, 9- 5) and commute into Boston in the evenings for graduate school. I've met a few people at school but so far struggling to find someone I could date. Heck, I've even had trouble forming real friendships at all for that matter, let alone dating a guy. It seems like most people already have their social circles set up and they rarely venture out to meet new people.

I own my own place and I like it so moving closer to the city isn't an option for me, and I just prefer living in the suburbs where it is more quiet and less party animal types in their 20's. I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm ready to settle down with someone.

I've tried groups like Meetup and online dating, but just haven't had any lasting success. People flake out, move away, or they get into relationships and hunker down. Making real friendships seems to be even harder than finding a date as a late twenty-something. But where are all the single men that are actually looking to meet somebody?

My work schedule plus studying part time doesn't allow much time for volunteering or other really intensive activities. I go to the gym and do yoga, run outside, but everyone is always in their own zone.

I'm at my wits end and I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.
Hi OP,

I'm also from Mass and I gotta say that in order to meet any here.. Unfortunately you have to go to a bar/club. Folks are just trying to enjoy the scene/lifestyle and just forget about the experience overall. Just be open minded towards heading to the Boston area and you'll be fine,
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Old 09-04-2016, 01:59 PM
 
531 posts, read 323,882 times
Reputation: 904
Men will usually want a woman who isnt as old. Its not impossible though. Just be pleasant and dont be overly picky. Stay away from clubs, not many people go there looking for relationships.
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Old 09-04-2016, 03:36 PM
 
3,852 posts, read 3,639,469 times
Reputation: 7835
Quote:
Originally Posted by mellowdrama View Post
I'm thinking about finding a new job in the DC area and moving there if my life doesn't change in the next year.
Nooooo...don't do it! I was single in the DC area for virtually my entire adult life, until I was sensible enough to move away for good 5 years ago at age 41. I'm no longer single.
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