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Not to sound parental, but you're still young and if I were you, I would continue to keep the focus on yourself, your own life, building it into something that you're really proud of. Keep saving money, keep plugging away at your job, be ambitious, climb the ladder. Make your life about you first. The women will come, they will. I've had my head buried in my career and my marriage for the past 18 years and I'm just stepping into a single life that I never thought I would see again. It's like a new chapter. Be positive, build yourself up.
It's something my father would say. However, at this point, this is the best thing I can do. I spent alot of time unemployed. Now I'm making up for it. I'm concerned about rebuilding from the time I lost, and building for a future. One of the reasons I'm even more careful about the type of women I would ever get involved with.
I just have alot of curiosity regarding how many things turned out. Alot of things I never understood about dating when I was younger. Most of the time, I didn't go into the dating scene. When I did try, I struck out over and over. I'm trying to understand how things work. I never understood when I was 15. Didn't get it at 25.
After hearing about people I know getting divorced, I started looking at things differently.
I'm in a new chapter in my life. It's happier than the last chapter. It isn't without its down moments. However, this is the time, now, where I can do better.
The women Humate from playing in the band, taking classes, and teaching are mostly in relationships?
I pretty much only go out to the bar to play music either at an open mic or a show. Most of the time the crowd is college age. So I'm a bit older for a lot of the pretty young ladies walting around at the bar. Also like I stated, there is not a lack of male attention towards pretty young women. I think of this one cutie not too long ago. She could have slept with probably 4 or 5 men that night if she wanted to. Myself included .. Don't judge me she was cute
The point is men basically surround these women. I guess it's a bit of a sausage fest when I think about it lol.
As for tutoring, yes I get a chance to interact with some cute girls. They are very young though. I joke around with them and all but I don't think anyone is thinking anything of it.
Ultimately the key is getting to know the friends of friends.. which i'm not there yet..
I gave Yahoo!Personals a tried. It never worked. Got maybe one person to even send a message. It didn't work for me though.
I tried OKCupid several times before giving it up entirely. In alot of cases, I was checking out more profiles than there were people checking out my profile. Few women checked out my profile and most of the time, when I sent messages out, my response rate was next to nothing. I got a few responses here and there. Other than that, nothing. One case never turned into a date, but we did remain friends. I can live with that. However, this is what I noticed. Interestingly, the most success I had, which was meager either way, came from outside of the USA.
I have pretty much given up on online dating. I tried it several times and it rarely worked. I am in the same situation as you.
I got a laugh I have like 4 people I match to on OKcupid.. I don't know if people around here aren't using it or what.
I really don't think I'm that unique.. Likes outdoors, camping, kayaking,, etc..
What works for me is that I'm very particular about who I message. I go through hundreds of profiles of pretty women and if their description of themselves doesn't resonate with me, I skip it. Their self summary has to show that they are intelligent, humble, funny, and insightful. If they're not, they'll never connect with me.
Damn if I did that it'd reduce my chances to .000002 percent
Not liking the odds.
So I keep the dumb, ugly (yes I said it ), boring, etc ones on the message list..
I just "Add Friend" invite girls I like. I call this casting the "Add Friend" net.
From those I had invited, I will get a number of acceptance, in effect becoming "Facebook" Friends with. I would message them. I call this casting the "conversation" net.
From those I messaged initially, I will get a few responses. Then I keep my conversations with them every now and then. If I'm lucky, I will be close to a couple of them and when the timing is right, ask them out individually.
Btw, there is this fairly new thing in Facebook called "Live" feed where the account owner does a live video feed of herself. This is great for 2 things : 1) it proves she is the owner of the account and 2) when you message her during a live feed, she is vulnerable and hence is responsive. A great way to get noticed by her.
It's something my father would say. However, at this point, this is the best thing I can do. I spent alot of time unemployed. Now I'm making up for it. I'm concerned about rebuilding from the time I lost, and building for a future. One of the reasons I'm even more careful about the type of women I would ever get involved with.
Very astute outlook on your part. Stay in that mode of thought and you'll do very, very well.
It's OK to get involved with a variety, so you know and learn what's good and bad. You just have to filter out how far you get involved, in steps.
I got a laugh I have like 4 people I match to on OKcupid.. I don't know if people around here aren't using it or what.
I really don't think I'm that unique.. Likes outdoors, camping, kayaking,, etc..
That's like on every profile.
It goes beyond interests. You have to match on moral values, habits, and other categories. I filled those sections out on OKCupid. I put my interests as well, some quite bookish, other of an athletic nature. I matched with alot of people I tried to talk to. Response rates were quite low, especially around the Atlanta area where I live. In my experiences, I did better with women overseas than in the Southern USA(of any race).
There are more single women than single men in Atlanta. However, quantity doesn't equal quality. There are many things I do not like. Piercings in places other than the earlobes, alot of tattoos(especially sleeve tattoos), fake hair/hair weave, single mothers, promiscuous behavior. The HIV rate has been going up in the Atlanta area. There are a significant amount of single mothers under 35 in Atlanta. I've seen it riding the MARTA buses. And then alot of single women are into the club scene. I'm not into that.
Mod cut: Orphaned (quoted posts have been deleted).
At this point, I don't really go after women much. What gets me is friends I once hung out with in college, I can't get with alot these days due to things changing. Many people are married with kids, moved to other cities, etc.
I would think with alot of people graduating from college and being in the professional world, there would be more intelligence here. But then, many things are not always detectable.
I don't spend my time with hood rats and poor people. I avoid those types. My hangouts often include coffee places, sports bars, bookstores, not places like clubs. The last time I went to a club, I tried talking to some girls there. They were not hood rats. One reason I went up to them. They gave me this awkward look.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 09-06-2016 at 09:35 AM..
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Don't judge me she was cute 
