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I've been dating online off and on for 10 years. I can tell from a profile who really just wants sex and who is willing to be more gentlemanly about it. And who doesn't really want sex (and I've found a few...they just seem ambivalent about it or have no experience and never make a move, or back off like a scared rabbit when I make a move. They DO exist). It really isn't that hard to sort them out from the profiles. Guy with selfie of naked torso? Sex. Guy in a bed? Sex. Guy who mentions ending a sexless relationship? Sex. Guy who says he doesn't want to text or email daily? Sex.
This is interesting. I've never had an online dating profile, but I don't enjoy texting and emailing day, either. It's not because I just want sex, but it's a little hard to keep that up on a daily basis. Why do you think those guys only want sex? I'm not disagreeing btw, just curious.
I have to add...just because a guy meets a woman online with the intent to have sex...doesn't mean he's perverted. Let's be real clear on what the definition of perverted is. Perversion involves sexual tendencies that are not considered the societal 'norm'. It is natural for adults to be interested in sex, and enjoy sex regardless of relationship status. We're human beings. Guy who makes it clear he is dating for sex? Horndog, yes, pervert, no.
I've been dating online off and on for 10 years. I can tell from a profile who really just wants sex and who is willing to be more gentlemanly about it. And who doesn't really want sex (and I've found a few...they just seem ambivalent about it or have no experience and never make a move, or back off like a scared rabbit when I make a move. They DO exist). It really isn't that hard to sort them out from the profiles. Guy with selfie of naked torso? Sex. Guy in a bed? Sex. Guy who mentions ending a sexless relationship? Sex. Guy who says he doesn't want to text or email daily? Sex.
If she screens more carefully, and blocks the guys who reference sex too aggressively for her taste, eventually the guys with values closer to hers will rise to the top.
I don't entirely disagree with this. I think sending a pic in your first or second or initial stage of messaging, is pretty creepy. I don't think it's creepy for guys (or girls) to be on the sites for sex only, but I understand how it could hurt people's emotions if they go out with someone and then wind up having sex with them, then realize after the fact that sex was all they wanted out of it.
I'm sure that there probably are pervs that use OLD pay services, I would just tend to think it might possibly help filter at least some of them out, certainly couldn't hurt as I'm sure the pervs all use the free sites too.
I've been out of the dating world for a long time now and if's it's anything like I read here I'm glad I'm not out there. I've kicked around the idea of not getting into a relationship if I weren't with Mrs. Chow, just sounds like a nightmare, probably not, but sure seems that way.
I kinda feel the same way about dating sites, although I'm definitely a proponent of online dating. I'm sure there are certain sites that are better than others, as well. As I've said, I've had more luck using the internet to meet girls on non-dating sites. Like messaging girls on Friendster (REALLY dating myself here) and then Facebook years later. One summer, I went out with about 3 different girls messaging them on Friendster. Actually, it might have even been 4, now that I think about it. This was pre-Myspace.
The pervs and wierdos took over OLD it wasn't like it is now 15 years ago. Can a perv or wierdo act like that in real life? No of course not so they flocked to OLD where they can hide behind the internet. OLD is also a haven for men that aren't even really single.
I have to add...just because a guy meets a woman online with the intent to have sex...doesn't mean he's perverted. Let's be real clear on what the definition of perverted is. Perversion involves sexual tendencies that are not considered the societal 'norm'. It is natural for adults to be interested in sex, and enjoy sex regardless of relationship status. We're human beings. Guy who makes it clear he is dating for sex? Horndog, yes, pervert, no.
I've been dating online off and on for 10 years. I can tell from a profile who really just wants sex and who is willing to be more gentlemanly about it. And who doesn't really want sex (and I've found a few...they just seem ambivalent about it or have no experience and never make a move, or back off like a scared rabbit when I make a move. They DO exist). It really isn't that hard to sort them out from the profiles. Guy with selfie of naked torso? Sex. Guy in a bed? Sex. Guy who mentions ending a sexless relationship? Sex. Guy who says he doesn't want to text or email daily? Sex.
If she screens more carefully, and blocks the guys who reference sex too aggressively for her taste, eventually the guys with values closer to hers will rise to the top.
I think everyone here is just using "horndog" and "perv" interchangeably, but yeah, a person wanting standard-ish sex isn't a pervert.
. Guy who says he doesn't want to text or email daily? Sex.
I would have to disagree with this one..but the rest, totally agree. Some women like to use OLD just to play around and never actually meet anyone. So I think it's smart to be upfront and make it clear that someone such as myself isn't looking for a text buddy or pen pal.
I have a coworker who is 35 and divorced for 2 yrs with 2 young children. She would really like to meet someone nice to have a relationship with. She has joined POF and Match. It seems like she goes on one date per week with someone different.
She tells me that every single one of these men just want sex. She said that even during an online chat with them or messenger, they are coming on to her with a sexual attitude.
My question is this. Is this the norm? I asked her if she was sending mixed signals and she said "no." I am just baffled. I told her it may not look good with her dating so many different men. She only does this when her children are at their father's visitation.
Wow, I can't believe no posters have called this post out for obvious gender bashing. Even the title in misandristic.
I didn't read the OP or the title as gender bashing - I think a gender bashing version of this topic would have been "why are all men perverted in online conversations?" and then a rant.
But to answer the question, I think what happens is that the men who immediately jump to sex talk are drowning out the others. They take a scattershot approach to messaging, probably sending out hundreds of messages at a time, and just need one person to bite. All of the women I know on OLD have told me about creepy or bizarre things said to them at some point. At the same time, I can't imagine the male acquaintances I have being so crass when they talk to women online...it just wouldn't fit their real-life personalities at all. So more civilized dudes are definitely out there, but maybe not always easy to spot over all the noise.
Thinking that all guys are going to do the sexual comment stuff right off the bat and that all they want is sex is the female version of the guys who come on here and say all women like guys who are jerks.
True. Gross generalizations are never good, nor fair. This thread is now closed.
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