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Be extra careful of those foreign dating sites. They always seem shady to me.
Especially when they have the word "models" in the name, like the one the OP found. But we'll see. The only guys I've ever heard of who truly made a good match in Russia and were happy chose women who were average/ordinary, slightly pudgy, and one had a child. The guy told his hometown newspaper interviewer that he'd "struck gold", and he meant it, because he was looking for character, not the stereotypical blonde beauty. (She wasn't blonde.) But I think he was somewhat older than the OP and had his priorities straight. And there was no catalog to browse; he went with a service that set him up with some potential matches after he got to Russia.
For some people, OLD is simply for better for them. The OP might be one of those people.
He has said that for him, OLD hasn't worked out, because it's too looks-based for the women checking him out. He's said he can't compete. But he insists that IRL doesn't work (he has never tried any singles-oriented activities), and that "everyone" in his age-range uses OLD exclusively, it's the only way to get one's foot in the door, he says. Even when people in his age cohort post that they live in the Bay Area and meet people IRL and have dates. He's not making a lot of sense. In any case, since he believes that nothing will work for him in the Bay Area, he's given up, and is doing OLD for Eastern Europe.
OP, if you'd get out into Bay Area activities, singles hikes, etc., you'd meet a few. And they don't all want a guy who makes 100K. Some make their own 100K, and don't need a guy for that. Others are fine with an average guy making a similar average wage to them. They're not looking for Brad Pitt. My 20-something nephews are average guys; one's just getting by, the other is doing a bit better, but not enough to buy a place--he rents, and they both got married in their mid-20's to Bay Area women.
It seems that it's guys like my nephews, who are very average in looks and who meet their gf's around the neighborhood, not on OLD, who are snapping up these great women that you're convinced don't exist and can only be found on Tinder. That's kind of sad. It's great for them, but not for you.
OP, if you'd get out into Bay Area activities, singles hikes, etc., you'd meet a few. And they don't all want a guy who makes 100K. Some make their own 100K, and don't need a guy for that. Others are fine with an average guy making a similar average wage to them. They're not looking for Brad Pitt. My 20-something nephews are average guys; one's just getting by, the other is doing a bit better, but not enough to buy a place--he rents, and they both got married in their mid-20's to Bay Area women.
At the time your nephews met these women, did they live on their own or had roomates? IMO OLD in expensive cities is really challenging. In order to stick out you have to be good-looking or make a good income that allows you to live on your own, especially if you are older.
When the OP made this thread I just saw the words San Francisco and already I knew there's a problem right there, it's an expensive city and it's definitely more challenging if the guy makes an average income. Best bet is to meet people IRL like your nephews. Seems like the only way.
He has said that for him, OLD hasn't worked out, because it's too looks-based for the women checking him out. He's said he can't compete. But he insists that IRL doesn't work (he has never tried any singles-oriented activities), and that "everyone" in his age-range uses OLD exclusively, it's the only way to get one's foot in the door, he says. Even when people in his age cohort post that they live in the Bay Area and meet people IRL and have dates. He's not making a lot of sense. In any case, since he believes that nothing will work for him in the Bay Area, he's given up, and is doing OLD for Eastern Europe.
You underestimate how difficult it is out there for men. It's damn near impossible to compete online for a male that does not have the minimum physical characteristics. Just the way it is.
I do meet women in person, but the smallest thing can turn them off and they have a ton of guys lined up as replacements.
Case in point: I've been seeing this girl. We had great conversations. Today, we were talking and I told her about a story about how me and my military friends used to get in trouble for making fun of each others' races (we were all different races). She was pretty offended and told me that "It's good to know these things about you early on so I could pick the right option". That's a direct quote. I got the impression at that moment that she was waiting for me to slip up and even kind of baited me into telling this story.
This tells me that she has many many options, which is a wonder to me since she has a full-time job where she sometimes works 7 days in a row. I work much less than that and don't have the time to create that many options (although, I guess it would be easier for women since all they need to do is go online to meet tons of men).
In any event, we're supposed to have a date tomorrow, but I'll probably just leave it alone now since she pretty much told me that she won't be coming. I don't see any reason to force a rejection when one is clearly inevitable at this point.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,737,208 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
OP, if you'd get out into Bay Area activities, singles hikes, etc., you'd meet a few. And they don't all want a guy who makes 100K. Some make their own 100K, and don't need a guy for that. Others are fine with an average guy making a similar average wage to them. They're not looking for Brad Pitt. My 20-something nephews are average guys; one's just getting by, the other is doing a bit better, but not enough to buy a place--he rents, and they both got married in their mid-20's to Bay Area women.
It seems that it's guys like my nephews, who are very average in looks and who meet their gf's around the neighborhood, not on OLD, who are snapping up these great women that you're convinced don't exist and can only be found on Tinder. That's kind of sad. It's great for them, but not for you.
Maybe for other parts of the bay, but not SF. The meet ups sausage parties, live music, sausage parties, outdoor fest in the park, men and couples. Heck, even the co-ed sports leagues (I played on several) were so overwhelmingly male that 1/3 to 1/2 men played at a time while every woman had to play all the time.
Worst city for dating for an average dude. And yeah, I worked with a few guys that had some luck, and I hate leagues, but those guys were amazing looking and super cool, and they would have done well anywhere and MUCH MUCH better anywhere else.
Maybe for other parts of the bay, but not SF. The meet ups sausage parties, live music, sausage parties, outdoor fest in the park, men and couples. Heck, even the co-ed sports leagues (I played on several) were so overwhelmingly male that 1/3 to 1/2 men played at a time while every woman had to play all the time.
Worst city for dating for an average dude. And yeah, I worked with a few guys that had some luck, and I hate leagues, but those guys were amazing looking and super cool, and they would have done well anywhere and MUCH MUCH better anywhere else.
I agree. I joined meetup and I went to fleetweek where people can meet. The majority of them came with their wife and husbands. SF Bay Area do have women shortage and this is due to jobs being male favorites. Sure they are gay men here but its not many as people think to balance out the gender ratio. I joined OkCupid once and got zero replies on that dite. And this goes back to what you said they have many options. They know there are plenty of single men in the Bay Area so they can keep searching for so call Mr Perfect. As I mention earlier Tinder ia used a lot here. It's not hard to catch someone swiping to find a mate for the day. Tinder is based on looks. I agree dating in SF sucks.
Maybe for other parts of the bay, but not SF. The meet ups sausage parties, live music, sausage parties, outdoor fest in the park, men and couples. Heck, even the co-ed sports leagues (I played on several) were so overwhelmingly male that 1/3 to 1/2 men played at a time while every woman had to play all the time.
Worst city for dating for an average dude. And yeah, I worked with a few guys that had some luck, and I hate leagues, but those guys were amazing looking and super cool, and they would have done well anywhere and MUCH MUCH better anywhere else.
OK, TImber, since you have inside experience, explain to me why SF guys don't venture beyond SF to date. They've got the whole Bay Area at their feet; the East Bay is a happening place and an easy drive away. Why is that not an option?
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