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As others have pointed out, your premise is flawed.
This is your two weeks notice that I am breaking up with you. After our formal exit interview I will not be writing you a reference letter nor training my replacement. Per our original agreement, all copies of our written discussions of compensation/benefits, vacation time, background checks, credit reports and/or drug tests are sealed by force of law.
Breaking up is the only thing you do in life where you have to intentionally hurt a person you care a lot about. And doing it can be seen as a good thing.
Breaking up is hard to do, but it's not the only thing you do in life in which you have to intentionally hurt a person.
If we apply your analogy to other spheres of life, nobody would go to the dentist or get an inoculation. Because whether you're getting a filling, a tetanus shot, or breaking up with someone, you are having to deal with short-term pain and discomfort in order to head off something much more painful in the future.
I mean, just hop in your way-back machine and think about the first girlfriend/boyfriend you ever had. Now think about you today. Would you have been happy if you had never broken up with that person? Some might say 'Yes.' But a far, far larger percentage would say, 'Um, no way.'
Do I look forward to going to the dentist? Absolutely not. But the consequences of not going to the dentist are worse.
Because, eventually, self-interest will outweigh, "I'm uncomfortable with the confrontation that will occur when I break things off." And, by then, it's even worse than it would have been, because even more time as elapsed where one party was mentally checked out, but walking through the paces, while not necessarily letting on.
Which is the very worst reason not to break up with someone.
It's understandable, but still not a good reason. I think it is generally fear of confrontation disguised as not wanting to hurt someone else.
It really is the worst mate
I'm not all the best at confrontation and hate it infact but as it's completely unfair on her I would tell her much sooner rather than later.
The longer it's left the worse it would be for both parties
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
I've seen evidence of both in previous posts but you are correct. His fear lies more so in confrontation and doing what needs to be done.
Its a horrible situation to be in of course but as you perfectly put it " doing what needs to be done " is spot on and most valid
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