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This could be a problem when your buddy starts hanging around with her more and more and she doesn't see it for what it is. You can't control her and tell her what to do, but this is probably going to make you uncomfortable. Then, if you start making a big deal about it, it will put pressure on your relationship. After that, she's probably going to start talking to him about the problems you guys are having with each other. Of course, he will be there for her when she needs him to listen. After that this goes one of two ways... he makes a move, but she keeps him as her emotional tampon and nothing happens... or (well you know the rest in the second scenario).
True. The upside in all of this is that she is supposed to be moving in with me in a few weeks. So their exclusivity and living in close quarters won't be much of an issue.
True. The upside in all of this is that she is supposed to be moving in with me in a few weeks. So their exclusivity and living in close quarters won't be much of an issue.
But if Buddy is at the pool party with GF, isn't it likely that she told him, "I just got a text from SQL, he's not coming here because he's still meeting Other Guy at the bar." Why would he feel the need to invite you to the pool party that he already knows you're not coming to?
He texted her before they even talked about my plans. Why did he text her exclusively to invite her to the pool before he even knew what I was up to? Why didn't he text both of us at the same time to go to the pool? I mean, he already bailed on me to go to the bar. It would be reasonable for him to say, "Hey SQL, instead of the bar, why don't we just hang out at the pool instead?" But nope. Instead, he exclusively texted my GF to hang out at the pool with him.
Heck, now that I think about it, he didn't even know that I had invited my GF to the bar, because that happened after the fact that he bailed on me. Before that, I just assumed it was gonna be a guys night. I invited her because he bailed, and figured we (me, her, and my public transit friend) could all hang out instead.
I honestly don't know him that well. I've known him for the past six years or so, but on a very casual basis. We have hung out in the past a few times per year maybe, in a group of friends. We are not super close at this point.
Ahhhh OK. I hope you don't think that I was trying to dismiss your concerns with my previous posts - I just took the information you presented and tried to imagine myself in the same situation. I still wouldn't be overly concerned at this point but hey, my motto is to always trust your own instincts. I can understand that you might feel that there is something not quite right about the situation. What are you going to do? Are you going to bring it up with him?
Ahhhh OK. I hope you don't think that I was trying to dismiss your concerns with my previous posts - I just took the information you presented and tried to imagine myself in the same situation. I still wouldn't be overly concerned at this point but hey, my motto is to always trust your own instincts. I can understand that you might feel that there is something not quite right about the situation. What are you going to do? Are you going to bring it up with him?
I understand, and I don't fault you. It's difficult to discuss topics when you're starting out with small snippets of the story.
Well, I'm not sure about bringing anything up with him yet. I mean, if this becomes a pattern, then for sure. But things will probably change after she moves in anyway.
I did, however, already talk to my GF this morning over text how it made me feel. I'm sure we'll talk more in depth later tonight as well. She seemed to understand my concerns. I really do think that she is innocent in the matter, after having time to think about it. I think it's a little sketchy on his part however. But it may have just been a "I didn't really think this through" moment. I think it's one of those things where time will tell. In the meantime, I'm trying my hardest not to jump the gun. That is what brings me here.
But that's absolutely what happened. After my buddy bailed, he didn't know that I was still going out. Yet, he invited my GF to the pool and not me.
I see it a bit differently. This was the same guy that made the plans, made sure you were going, and then bailed on you, and didn't invite you to the pool. He wanted that to happen exactly the way it did.
I see it a bit differently. This was the same guy that made the plans, made sure you were going, and then bailed on you, and didn't invite you to the pool. He wanted that to happen exactly the way it did.
I'd be having a little talk with him.
I'm trying to be less cynical than this viewpoint, but it doesn't mean that this doesn't have merit. I am hoping that you are wrong, and that I have a trustworthy friend and GF.
I see it a bit differently. This was the same guy that made the plans, made sure you were going, and then bailed on you, and didn't invite you to the pool. He wanted that to happen exactly the way it did.
I'd be having a little talk with him.
Or maybe better to just cut ties and not hang with him anymore.
I did, however, already talk to my GF this morning over text how it made me feel. I'm sure we'll talk more in depth later tonight as well. She seemed to understand my concerns. I really do think that she is innocent in the matter, after having time to think about it. I think it's a little sketchy on his part however. But it may have just been a "I didn't really think this through" moment. I think it's one of those things where time will tell. In the meantime, I'm trying my hardest not to jump the gun. That is what brings me here.
Not a big fan of discussing problems via text but I think it's great that you brought it up with her. Personally I couldn't find any fault with what your GF did but yeah, you're in a relationship so you should be able to have open communication about things that bother you!
I do feel that you might be over-analysing things a little and it's good that you are trying not to jump the gun - having said that, definitely look out for dodgy patterns and I completely agree that this might be a "time will tell" -type of situation. Congratulations on the two of you moving in together soon!
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