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I won't take her to Blair Witch, don't worry. I'm not selfish. But if she wants to see that new Bridget Jones movie...I mean, that's going to be difficult for me.
Ugh, yeah, I wouldn't blame you. "Sully" is good middle ground. Very good.
Well, he does seem to be a bit too reactive to how the women are responding to him. It's possible that he's just indecisive....or possibly has BPD or something. It's not out of the realm of possibility that this is actually happening.
Well, no, that's the thing. We know for certain he at the very least is codependent per his therapist; we know because he has stated this.
Whether there are actual significant internal issues here is not in question. And this is why some of us are objecting. We KNOW per the OP's own previous comments that there are issues big enough for his therapist to be advising against him dating right now. We don't all have it out for this guy and are just spouting off or something.
What star said is spot on here in the UK in terms of just dating one at a time and it is the usual. Me for example.... Yes I'm all for casual as its not exclusive but when I'm actually dating one I'm only dating her ( as I treat it as a view to a relationship ).
I think I saw somewhere that you mentioned you don't do OLD. That makes more sense because, I think when you're just dating women that you meet out in the real world, it's a totally different system where 1 at a time is more the natural way of things. But with OLD, it's several women all at once and then you have to have some system in place to determine which women have potential for a relationship and which don't. It's almost apples and oranges.
But, as I've said several times, I don't feel it's realistic for me to be celibate and alone for a year while I work through things. I think I can work my issue out while also dating and have very minimal collateral damage.
Your therapist doesn't think you can work it out while dating. She told you as much. Why are you disregarding her advice?
And why wouldn't it be realistic? Because you don't want to? That, along with the immediate attachment to almost any woman you go out with once, shows a pretty surprising amount of immaturity for someone in his 40s, don't you think?
Well, no, that's the thing. We know for certain he at the very least is codependent per his therapist; we know because he has stated this.
Whether there are actual significant internal issues here is not in question. And this is why some of us are objecting. We KNOW per the OP's own previous comments that there are issues big enough for his therapist to be advising against him dating right now. We don't all have it out for this guy and are just spouting off or something.
Just because we disagree with your narrative, we are unlucky in dating?
Why do posters on this forum attack people that disagree with them? I'm seeing this as a common trend from longtime posters, both male and female.
I'm not a long time poster and I wasn't even thinking of you.....I don't remember anything you posted until you started challenging my opinion. I read two 'you go rocky' comments and thought of the "sheeple" he refers to. You go ahead and argue with me all by yourself, I stated my opinion.
Well, no, that's the thing. We know for certain he at the very least is codependent per his therapist; we know because he has stated this.
Whether there are actual significant internal issues here is not in question. And this is why some of us are objecting. We KNOW per the OP's own previous comments that there are issues big enough for his therapist to be advising against him dating right now.
This is all true. But my therapist recommended I refrain from dating simply because it would easier and more efficient for her and me to work through my codependency. But she never suggested that I'm untreatable if I'm still dating. It's not like just because I'm dating I can't learn and grow as a person.
Besides, my therapist is awesome and she supports me in whatever I do, as long as it's not self-destructive. Because what happens with many codependent people is they sacrifice themselves and their needs in order to have someone. And I've done that before.
And why wouldn't it be realistic? Because you don't want to? That, along with the immediate attachment to almost any woman you go out with once, shows a pretty surprising amount of immaturity for someone in his 40s, don't you think?
It's not immaturity, it's codependency. It's not like I chose to have this disorder and it's certainly not an indication that I'm a bad person.
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