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My advice? Find a girl in your country, and so should she.
LDR are very difficult to maintain, even for grownups, you two are too young for that.
A poster mentioned she might be a catfish, it is possible, not necessarily, but she seems very, very unsure of herself, who she is and what she wants, no wonder, being 18. Although you are 1 year younger than her you seem more mature. And.....it is really not a good idea to surprise her and show up at her door at Christmas, please, do not do this! I doubt that she told her parents about you! Good luck.
Her parents know about me, I've even spoken to her mom before, she told all of her friends and parents about me, her parents even joked around that i was her boyfriend
And no i am 100% certain she is real, the videos, photos, FB, it's not fake
And I'm not asking about maintaining a LDR, I'm wondering if we can have one when she meets me (she will study in the uk next year)
And yes she is unsure about herself,she is insecure and she dosen't know what she wants exactly
I'm sorry mate but this is a non starter..... The difference in location is HUGE but the way she flipped out and above all her reluctance to take things forward or do other things is what's telling .
Seems a pen pal more than anything.
Plus the last bit about turning up out of the blue at xmas ......sounds magical and enchanting but in reality it won't work so what you said her reaction would be sounds about right
The difference in location is HUGE but she is coming to study at university in the UK next year
and she has slowly started to take things forward.....
hate to break it to you but she's not a catfish, she is 100% real, i have her FB, i spoke to her for the last 4 months, she gave me videos, pics, etc... She's not fake
If she will NEVER love me why does she want to date me when me meet ?
why would she want to meet me at all ?
If there's no interest why is she still talking to me
And NO surprising her in December isn't silly, it would be really sweet and romantic
You appear to have all of the answers you are looking for already so why did you start a thread?
Anyway, carry on, good luck, bless your heart.
You appear to have all of the answers you are looking for already so why did you start a thread?
Anyway, carry on, good luck, bless your heart.
no you don't understand
I don't have the answers, And i just want to know if there can ever be something between us ??
she will move to the UK next year for university
If she's told you she would go mad at you if you turned up at her house in her country why do you think it would work?
And what happens if you meet a bird in the meantime? ..... Personally I think you're wasting your time but it's your choice
But she would only be mad because she is shy and she really isn't ready yet (she is a shy nervous person) if i could get past her shyness she wouldn't be mad at me
and tbh i'm not really looking for anyone in the meantime, I will wait for her if it can work, i just want to understand if it might ever work
she has promised to meet me in summer and she is coming here to study, and she has promised a date
And NO surprising her in December isn't silly, it would be really sweet and romantic
Why don't you listen to what she says?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Soul
Also could i surprise her by turning up at her house in December (she said if i did she would be really mad and angry at me) ? - but wouldn't this be better than waiting for 8 months ?
She will NOT think it sweet or romantic; she told you otherwise.
If you showed up on my doorstep when I specifically told you not to, I would never ever speak to you again.
It is rude, presumptuous, and shows that her opinion does not matter to you.
I think she does not want you there because... well, catfish! Same reason she will not Skype.
Her parents know about me, I've even spoken to her mom before, she told all of her friends and parents about me, her parents even joked around that i was her boyfriend
And no i am 100% certain she is real, the videos, photos, FB, it's not fake
Facebook can be faked.
How do you know it was her parents and not her friends messing with you?
The fact that she refuses to Skype speaks volumes... but you are not listening!
But she would only be mad because she is shy and she really isn't ready yet (she is a shy nervous person) if i could get past her shyness she wouldn't be mad at me
and tbh i'm not really looking for anyone in the meantime, I will wait for her if it can work, i just want to understand if it might ever work
she has promised to meet me in summer and she is coming here to study, and she has promised a date
Well if that's the way you would like to look at it then you have nothing to lose have you?.... But if she's THIS shy and nervous then DONT try and force the issue and push her by turning up at her home at Xmas...... Respect her wishes mate
It just seems you have an awful lot of time and emotion invested in her.... Which for someone you've never even met seems excessive.
You're a very young lad I just wouldn't want to you to get your hopes up and get hurt
Out of interest where are you based and where will she be studying in the UK?
Skype or eff off, that became my motto after getting catfished. There is no point in wasting even ten minutes of my time being even pen pals with someone who won't agree to a Skype chat. The Internet is rife with fakers.
You mention that she's moving to the UK to go to school eventually. My advice - until she does and is willing to meet you in person, don't waste your energy (or precious time) with communicating with her. Go about your business, meet real people who live around you, cultivate community connections.
By the way she sounds like way more drama than my threshold would allow, but that's subjective so maybe you like this kind of emotional instability.
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