Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I am a 24 years old female, (born and raised in Asia, came to USA two years ago to get my master). Because of the culture of my home country, I never had a boyfriend or any dating experience before. Then I came to US, I started using online dating like Okcupid and Tinder. I feel so frustrated whether the date went well or bad. For example, I dated a guy from Tinder for 15 days (he is from Ukraine)
I really liked him at first sight. We met 5 times in 15 days, because he has a job we meet all at night from 8pm-11pm, we would have dinner then went to the park or watched a movie. He was very sweet, would ask me whether i am cold do i need his jacket. He paid for everything, even uber me back. He texted me everyday, called me often. He acted like a boyfriend. I thought we could be something serious. Cuz I want a boyfriend so badly.
But there are some red flags which makes very anxious and I keep searching online" 10 signs he is a player" "how to know he just wants sex" " 10 ways to tell he wants something serious"....I read those articles again and again, thinking about everything he said, I couldn't concentrate on my study and I feel very disappointed about myself.
The red flags are: 1:He hangs out with me very casually, we meet almost everyday, he would text me at 3pm and tell me he wants to meet me at 8:30pm today. But I think its understandable because he got out of work at 8:30pm. And he went hiking with his collages and had some extra work on weekend so we never got the chance to hang out in the day. But he only asked me about my date and talked about his busy schedule next day, he never asked my family or my personal life. We never getting to know each other. 2: He was very eager to have sex. Everytime we meet he would french kiss me and heavy made out with me. I did enjoy it but I fell for him quickly because of the physical intimacy. I told him I didn't want him to touch my boobs and my butt, he didn't listen and still touched them. 3. The last time we met I went to a bar with him, he ordered Tequilla for me (I didn't know it was a very strong drink, now I think about it, he tried to get me drunk) and I went to his place, he kept saying he would not harm me. But he still persuaded me to take off my clothes, Mod cut: not PG13 He didn't push me to sex. Next morning we had breakfast he still texted me as before. He even told me although it went a little fast but it was good and he wanted more. But when we got out of the house, we met his neighbor, he introduced me as his very good friend. And I can see he was uncomfortable and awkaward 4. I asked him what was he looking for, he told me he didn't know and said his friend had sex with a girl on their first date and they got married. He definitely is still using tinder. 5. I felt so sad and anxious about those red flags I couldn't study or do anything, all I am doing everyday is trying to figure out he is a player or not, so I want to end things in case he is a player so I won't get hurt. I called him yesterday and told him not see each other again. He insisted meeting me in person tomorrow and refused to facetime with me. He got a little impatience at last and ended the call quickly.
Plus, I told him I am a virgin and want to take things slow. I want my first time to be with a special guy.
I don't know i did it wrong or not. Is he a player? Should i meet him again? And I feel so frustrated about online dating because here in USA all guys my age want sex when they are dating. I get attached very quickly even by kissing and making out. I don't know how can i find love in USA.
I don't think it matters whether you can officially name him a player, or any other name. What matters is that you're already uncomfortable. Don't go here and BTW, if this guy is whatever passes for a player, the whole "oh, I don't want to sleep with someone right away" will absolutely be his signal to hit that, as soon as possible, because he'll love the challenge. And you'll fall for it and then you'll be on here a nervous wreck and in tears. Don't do this, go for someone you're more sure of and "labels" be damned.
OP RE what summer rain quoted.......Yes paying for dates and being sweet is great.... But if he doesn't hold any respect for you by not respecting your wishes then it speaks volumes about HIM
That's what it all boils down to.
Plus " cuz I want a boyfriend so badly "..... If you give off this impression whether it's intended or not it would only cause you more problems than anything else as you would attract more of the wrong sort
Oh goodness....truly a case where naivete can get people into some messed up situations.
The OP doesn't sound very confident/sure of herself. The guy sounds like a creep, most sensible and respectful guys don't do things like that when a woman says no. I know if a man touched me like that without my permission that would've been the end of it.
Oh goodness....truly a case where naivete can get people into some messed up situations.
The OP doesn't sound very confident/sure of herself. The guy sounds like a creep, most sensible and respectful guys don't do things like that when a woman says no. I know if a man touched me like that without my permission that would've been the end of it.
I guess I did want to explore sex, I wanted to lose my v-card and he was gentle and loving so i thought whatever, even we became fwb or one night stand it doesn't matter. But later I found out I fell so fast for him with physical intimacy. If I couldn't find a decent bf, I would be virgin till 30??? I really don't want to be like that.....But if I try to lose it in a casual way, I fell attached....Maybe I can learn try not to Mod cut: language? But it is very hard in the beginning like what I am going through.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 09-26-2016 at 07:45 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
