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I wouldn't come right out and just ask, to me it should be natural, not like an interview. I usually discuss overall goals in life, etc. I find it unusual that after 2 hours of blabbing over dinner I wouldn't get some understanding of what they were looking for.
Are you sure? So whats the point if in the long run you may want a child but your partner doesn't?
There were a couple threads I believe on this forum in which a long term relationship ended due to a partner wanting kids and the other one didn't
Sometimes people think they can change the other one's mind. But I think, more often than not, both people were initially on the fence about potentially having children, and then as time wore on they ended up on opposite sides of the fence. Or perhaps a person later finds out that they have infertility issues, but do not want to go though treatments to try and conceive, and can't/don't want to adopt. Better to break up and move on than bring a child into the world with someone who is not totally on board.
Anything is possible, but when people tell you something about themselves, it is best to believe them. Don't invest in someone's potential, invest in the person sitting in front of you right now. What if he doesn't change his mind, what then? The person who hoped for the best but ignored what the person said is going to be bitter, resentful and childless.
Are you sure? So whats the point if in the long run you may want a child but your partner doesn't?
I am saying dates are for getting to know people that is their purpose, but there are ways to do so in the course of natural conversation about your lives and goals in life, versus asking questions like it's a job interview. Are you saying your friend dated a guy over months and did not know what his relationship goals were, they just never came up? That sounds odd to me.
If I were doing online dating though and I wanted kids, I would make clear (nicely) in my profile that I was only interested in like-minded people.
Anything is possible, but when people tell you something about themselves, it is best to believe them. Don't invest in someone's potential, invest in the person sitting in front of you right now. What if he doesn't change his mind, what then? The person who hoped for the best but ignored what the person said is going to be bitter, resentful and childless.
I agree. Just don't go there. You'll hear one or two "success" stories along these lines, then a few dozen "everything went to hell and we are miserable and broken up and have wasted X amount of years" stories. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Don't think "Oh, s/he might change his/her mind later" and then invest your heart. Bad idea, somebody's going to get hurt...probably both of you.
Depends on how important it is to you. If you are decidedly child-free or absolutely do want children, then that discussion needs to happen as early on as possible. If you can go either way (ie. kids would be nice under ideal circumstances, but not essential), then it's less imperative.
This is something that can be assessed by looking at the details of one's OLD profile, or going through the survey answers on OKC. One of the many advantages of OLD. The ability assess baseline compatibility and know these important details from the get-go. No wasting anyone's time and resources by going on several dates before serious topics are discussed.
This is something that can be assessed by looking at the details of one's OLD profile, or going through the survey answers on OKC. One of the many advantages of OLD. The ability assess baseline compatibility and know these important details from the get-go. No wasting anyone's time and resources by going on several dates before serious topics are discussed.
Ya know... One would think this. When I attempted online dating, I specifically said "has kids, do not want more". I had men ask all the time if I would have another kid with them, if we dated. Like all the time.
"What is your outlook and feelings towards children?"
That's all you have to say.
If someone get THAT turned off or upset at this type of question...you pretty much know the type of person they are going to be moving forward with if attempting a relationship with them.
That type of future doesn't sound very fun to me, does it to you?
You shouldn't even be dating if you are not prepared to hear or answer this question in some fashion. It's like making ice cream but never wanting the word milk to be uttered in the process
Last edited by rego00123; 09-19-2016 at 12:36 PM..
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