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I always wondered how it would be to be married to someone but live apart i.e. maybe just next door because of individual habits, tastes, decor, need for space.
It's a wonderful idea and a recipe for a great marriage!
Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera pioneered it. Diego was a compulsive womanizer, going as far as having an affair with her sister, and yet their passion and shared interests kept them together. It's certainly not for everybody. Besides, they had no children. That's their house (two houses connected by a bridge):
Come to think of it, the idea's been around for some time. In the harems the ladies have separate houses. Same in Asian cultures. Last week watched the movie Raising the Red Lantern in which each "mistress"/wife with her children lived in her own house and there was a contest between them which one the "master" will choose for the night. Of course, these are not exactly examples of happy living by any means... It does avoid a lot of issues, though. Gives everybody space and perhaps less resentment is built. Familiarity DOES breed contempt. When you're too close to somebody, too focused on him/her, too dependent on him/her for your emotional well-being, every little slip tends to get magnified.
You almost know this variation will come up. You didn't say whether they still lived under the same roof and for how long they lived under the same roof. Did they have any kids? It sounds like this particular situation was for their "survival" and amicable, so it probably worked out for them without any kind of deceit.
Nope never lived together although they will stay with eachother when visiting. (never sleeping in the same room) No kids. My Uncle Billy lives in GA and my Aunt Dana lives in TX. Even though the marriage was never consumated and "common law" divorce has probably taken effect or some such, I love my uncle. Of course my whole family consists of my mother, her mother, her sister and him. (not counting my husband and his family forest...lol)
now i want to live in canada, so i'm hoping someone will return the favor. i've been shopping for a spouse on craigslist...
No...no...no...you're just joking, right? You DON'T want to live in Canada. When I lived in Seattle, I thought that living in Vancouver would be "the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow." Or even Montreal. Vancouver, once you get over the trees and the scenic backdrop, isn't that great...and it's expensive. Montreal is, at least, stimulating...but it's an icebox.
Here's what I have to say:
"Vancouver is Canada's Miami."
That's it...that's their warmest spot. BRRRRRR.
Canada...beautiful and progressive country....but....FUGGEDABOUTIT.
i married someone from mexico so they could establish residency in this country. we stayed legally married for 7 years.
now i want to live in canada, so i'm hoping someone will return the favor. i've been shopping for a spouse on craigslist...
The former INS and the current Department of Homeland Security would love to hear about your past and your future plans... What is WRONG with you?! You think you're anonymous or something...?!
I had a friend who was a widower, met a lady at his job,they dated, came from the same part of town, in fact, his daugher knew her daugher and although they didn't like each other, the parents continued to date, after 8 months they decided to marry, her daughter was just starting college and his daughter was going out of state, they married in Jan. she(wife) didn't move in with him........reason daughter didn't like the man and refused to move in so mom(wife) stayed in apt with daughter till she left for college. After 9 months she finally moved in, there were several problems but she endured until one Friday morning (10 months later) she walked our the door and moved back to her old apt. After couseling she lived in her apt. he in his hoping that she would come back, after 6 years of living apart they finally divorced (he paid for divorce) total crazy situation, after one month I would have filed divorce papers against her, but according to couselor she was conflicted and didn't know what she wanted.
I always wondered how it would be to be married to someone but live apart i.e. maybe just next door because of individual habits, tastes, decor, need for space.
flindras, I am married but live seperate most of the time from him. The story starts the day my dad died. My mom was already deceased. Being an only child the house passed to me. Hubby came here to fix it up to rent out in the summer. (the house is on the beach) He came home and I came down here to put up curtains and such. Then we wanted to put a motrgage on the house but I needed one year's legal residency here. The year was coming to an end and I had decided I liked living back "home". (I grew up here) So...I stayed, got the mortgage, paid off all my bills and am saving about 1K or more a month! Hubby stays at the other house becuase it takes him 20 mins to get to work and from here, 1 1/2 to 2 hours. We both have enough faith and trust in each other to be able to do this without jealousy ripping us apart! He "visits" every 2nd or 3rd weekend and does the stuff around here I can't do but all in all it makes for a very happy marriage!! This is the way we have lived for the past 4 years. Not next door either. Approximatly 50 miles in between.
I know of a Military couple (Man + Woman) that each is Homosexual, married, just for the benefit's, and because they are really good friends. It works for them. Who am I to judge?
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It does avoid a lot of issues, though. Gives everybody space and perhaps less resentment is built. Familiarity DOES breed contempt. When you're too close to somebody, too focused on him/her, too dependent on him/her for your emotional well-being, every little slip tends to get magnified.
