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To be honest, I don't think you can go at the speed of light and then miraculously slow down with the same person.
Well, this is something G and I have talked at length about. Tonight she is coming over for a little while after work and then going home. That's our deal. We're going to do the sleepovers once a week for awhile.
As I've gotten older, looks are less important. Out of all the women I've dated over the past 2 months, I've chosen to start a relationship with the one who I'm least attracted to. I've done this because she shines in the compatibility and personality departments. Making this sort of decision is a new path I'm taking that I'm hoping will lead to happiness and fulfillment.
My question is this; how many of you believe that personality over looks provide the best possibility for a healthy long term relationship? In other words, would you be willing to adjust your standards in the looks department if the potential mate had a great personality?
I don't know. I'm pretty much the guy you date if you want looks over personality. In the personality department, I'm just a country ass man who you can't take to a fancy restaurant because I don't know what that little fork is for. As far as looks are concerned, I'm a lil' bit of alright. Doorway pull-up bar, perfect push-up, squats/lunges/deadlifts 3x a week, with straight legged jeans...tend to work for the ladies.
Sure. I guess you excised the from "death do us part" from the vows.
That's a silly, unrealistic man made construct based on The Book of Common Prayer written in 1549.
I would not put too much stock in it or expect others to accept it as written in stone especially if they are not a practicing Christian or had a Christian wedding.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Very modern of you having starter and second starter marriages.
This all goes to show that even therapists/psychiatrists (G) can be a little emotionally unhealthy. Because sleeping every night - for five nights in a row - with a dude you've only been out with TWICE is just not healthy. No matter how great you get along. Sorry, nope.
She is a child therapist.....this might explain a bit....:-D)
It should be, so did it count as monogamy when the OP was seeing two other people, one of whom he was shtupping (until he insulted her vegan dinner), another being this particular woman (I guess he hadn't slept with her yet as they didn't golf until last weekend and the other bed buddy had been gone for I think at least two days by then?) and all of this, from soup to nuts, I guess in the space of about two and a half weeks?
I guess technically he wasn't doing any two of these dates in the same bed at the same time so is that what we're counting as monogamy and exclusivity here? Is that our one at a time scenario? I think that's the case of the OP though with his amazing escapades and endless Tinder approaches, who knows.
But let's give the benefit of a doubt in the meantime. So far, in the past at least 10 days (I think?) he hasn't done anyone else except this one person, as far as he's telling us, so is that our barometer of exclusivity?
The world has gotten A LOT more fun since I last dated. I think I could have pulled off rotating exclusivity with no more than two to three people within any given two week period, it's so unfair...I missed the fun boat. Boo for me, but hurrah for the OP, I guess, and his high morals of monogamy.
O.K, I think I lost track of the various timelines....:-(((
I used to work on an addictions ward and so many people were codependent and equally in denial as rocky is with regards to the need to work on their issues without being in a relationship. Codependent people look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better and are often well intentioned, but because of their unhealthy relationship dynamics, they find it difficult to understand why things keep imploding.
It was not unusual to see patients start new relationships whilst in treatment and no matter how often they were warned against this, most didn't listen till they had been round the wheel a few times.
This whole thread is codependency 101 and it's rather sad to see.
RR, you are taking a lot of heat for moving too fast, but sometimes it does works out. If it doesn't, well you seem to be the type of person who needs to learn lessons the hard way. I wish you and "G" all the best and I hope it works out for you both.
I believe I installed Tinder on or around Sept 5th. The Vegan and I had 3 dates. The first was dinner and live music, then back to her place for the night. The second was her place for a vegan dinner, which wasn't that great. The 3rd was at my place for dinner. That's when she, uh, decided that I wasn't for her. The only reason that I remember the Vegan so clearly is that I discussed that affair at length with my therapist. I was pretty bummed about that one. Not as much as K though. I mean seriously, who goes on 4 dates with someone and then dumps them out of the blue?
PLENTY of people. 4 dates? Please.
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