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Old 09-29-2016, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,840,133 times
Reputation: 4826

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If I were in your shoes, I'd come right out and ask if you can give her a call, because you'd really like to ask her out on date properly. If she doesn't want to give it to you after making a forthright declaration of intent, then I'd take that as a sign to move on.

I agree with you, after 2 hours together, if she doesn't feel comfortable sharing her number with you, then it's her loss.
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Old 09-29-2016, 07:54 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,030,111 times
Reputation: 427
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
If I were in your shoes, I'd come right out and ask if you can give her a call, because you'd really like to ask her out on date properly. If she doesn't want to give it to you after making a forthright declaration of intent, then I'd take that as a sign to move on.

I agree with you, after 2 hours together, if she doesn't feel comfortable sharing her number with you, then it's her loss.
Yes contacted me through the site which means I am going backwards.
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,840,133 times
Reputation: 4826
Sorry, renter16. I understand her need to be cautious at first, but it does seem over the top to me. Probably indicative of many other fears that she harbors which would come to the surface if you dated her. She is probably what my mother would call a "fuddy duddy".
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:05 PM
 
Location: West Coast - Best Coast!
1,979 posts, read 3,538,791 times
Reputation: 2343
Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
Only way she will see me again is giving me her number or coming to my apt
I hope you didn't tell her that. If a man said that to me I'd not even talk to him again. It's aggressive, bossy, and the apartment part is both tone deaf (given she seems a little cautious in the first place) and forward.

ETA: I agree it sounds like she's being too cautious when it comes to the phone number, but did you even bother asking her - politely and with sincere interest - why she was afraid to give you her number? She might have a very good reason; like you said, a past experience that wasn't good. It sounds like you liked her upon meeting her, so why the need to aggressively put your foot down so fast? Go out with her one more time, and if she doesn't give you her number after that, explain to her that you would have a hard time engaging further with her if she is so untrusting.
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Polynesia
2,704 posts, read 1,840,133 times
Reputation: 4826
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellevueNative View Post
I hope you didn't tell her that. If a man said that to me I'd not even talk to him again. It's aggressive, bossy, and the apartment part is both tone deaf (given she seems a little cautious in the first place) and forward.
Same here. I was trying to pretend like I didn't read that. Maybe she is overly cautious, or maybe she is a good judge of character.
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:13 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,030,111 times
Reputation: 427
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellevueNative View Post
I hope you didn't tell her that. If a man said that to me I'd not even talk to him again. It's aggressive, bossy, and the apartment part is both tone deaf (given she seems a little cautious in the first place) and forward.
No I didn't tell her that but you don't think I would look like a fool traveling somewhere else to meet her again and still don't know her phone number? I thought that was the purpose of us meeting each other so I basically wasted my time.


I won't ever meet anyone like that again off a dating site. NEVER


And it wasn't like I was aggressive in asking for her number, I waited until after we hugged which was at the end of the date. And I only met that way because she agreed to meet close to where I live.
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:16 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,030,111 times
Reputation: 427
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflyfish View Post
Same here. I was trying to pretend like I didn't read that. Maybe she is overly cautious, or maybe she is a good judge of character.
Do you think I am going to make an effort to see her again without a phone number? How stupid would that be? I wouldn't even do it if she looked like beyonce because I am giving her all this power over me like a submissive fool.
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:20 PM
 
Location: West Coast - Best Coast!
1,979 posts, read 3,538,791 times
Reputation: 2343
"Waaaaah, she made me message her and ask her out via message on OKC app vs text message app on my phone. I'm done!"

If this is the kind of stuff guys on CD obsess about, it's no wonder they don't have dates or relationships.

I have been reluctant to give my number out early to men because I was in a profession that required my cell # to be listed online. It creeped me out that someone could Google my phone number and find out a fairly good amount of information about me. I didn't know there was an app out there that could create a fake number for me; it's possible this woman and others don't know about that, either. Give a girl a break - men really have no idea what it's like to be a single woman watching out for her personal safety. And it doesn't help when a guy demands the phone number or a visit to his apartment!
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:24 PM
 
Location: West Coast - Best Coast!
1,979 posts, read 3,538,791 times
Reputation: 2343
Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
No I didn't tell her that but you don't think I would look like a fool traveling somewhere else to meet her again and still don't know her phone number? I thought that was the purpose of us meeting each other so I basically wasted my time.


I won't ever meet anyone like that again off a dating site. NEVER


And it wasn't like I was aggressive in asking for her number, I waited until after we hugged which was at the end of the date. And I only met that way because she agreed to meet close to where I live.
Quote:
Originally Posted by renter16 View Post
Do you think I am going to make an effort to see her again without a phone number? How stupid would that be? I wouldn't even do it if she looked like beyonce because I am giving her all this power over me like a submissive fool.
The purpose of your date was to get her phone number? Huh?

What power do you think a phone number gives you? You're going to be messaging her either way (I'm with others...I don't really like phone conversations these days, for multiple reasons, so I have exclusively texted - one exception - with guys who I met through OLD or otherwise). In that case, and at this early stage, why does it matter which app you're using to message her through? OKC, Kik, WhatsApp, iMessage, etc..it's all messaging. All that matters is that you have a way to contact her!
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Old 09-29-2016, 08:25 PM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,030,111 times
Reputation: 427
Quote:
Originally Posted by BellevueNative View Post
"Waaaaah, she made me message her and ask her out via message on OKC app vs text message app on my phone. I'm done!"

If this is the kind of stuff guys on CD obsess about, it's no wonder they don't have dates or relationships.

I have been reluctant to give my number out early to men because I was in a profession that required my cell # to be listed online. It creeped me out that someone could Google my phone number and find out a fairly good amount of information about me. I didn't know there was an app out there that could create a fake number for me; it's possible this woman and others don't know about that, either. Give a girl a break - men really have no idea what it's like to be a single woman watching out for her personal safety. And it doesn't help when a guy demands the phone number or a visit to his apartment!
Demand? I asked for it after a 2 hour date once we hugged. She was saying during the date that you can fake sane online but not face to face. So if that is the case why the hell didn't you give me your number after 2 hours? I wasn't trying to push up on her during the date and didn't go in for a kiss and she still wasn't ready to give me her number

And gets home and sends me a message on OKC saying she had a good time? She appears to be a wacko
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