Describe your experience of being in a long distance relationship (LDR) (dating, married)
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2. Would you admit it was because you couldn't get a local partner or have yo formed coping mechanisms as to why you would choose a lover across the globe rather than a local one ("No one in my country gets me like my LDR lover does", etc)
3. How often did you meet up? How did you convince friends that this wasn't a crazy idea or a catfish, etc?
4. How did it feel seeing your friends with their partners while you counted down the months until you could spend a few days with yours?
5. What did you not foresee going into it?
6. How long did it last? If you are now dating local, didn't you just say that "No one else in my country got me like my LDR lover did" above?
It started out at over 1000 miles, and ended up being 113, door-to-door.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FACEandLMS
2. Would you admit it was because you couldn't get a local partner or have yo formed coping mechanisms as to why you would choose a lover across the globe rather than a local one ("No one in my country gets me like my LDR lover does", etc)
None of the above.
We started chatting online, found that we had a lot in common, met in person, and that was that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FACEandLMS
3. How often did you meet up? How did you convince friends that this wasn't a crazy idea or a catfish, etc?
Initially, we met up every several months. About a year and a half into the relationship, I moved closer- which put us the aforementioned 113 miles apart.
I spoke to my friends and family about the relationship, like I would about any other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FACEandLMS
4. How did it feel seeing your friends with their partners while you counted down the months until you could spend a few days with yours?
Yeah, that part sucked. Which is a main reason why I moved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FACEandLMS
5. What did you not foresee going into it?
Specifically about the LDR? Nothing really. The distance was what it was.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FACEandLMS
6. How long did it last? If you are now dating local, didn't you just say that "No one else in my country got me like my LDR lover did" above?
A little under 8 years.
I never had the thought that "no one in my country gets me".
I'm in one now. 900 miles. We both have jillions of frequent flyer miles. There are 5 nonstop flights between cities every day and it's only 2 hours and a couple minutes of air time. Even buying tickets instead of cashing in miles, we can both afford it. What's the big deal? When it's right, it's right. We'll sort out the geography problem soon enough. Until then, every time we're together is a honeymoon. What's not to like about that? We have the technology to stay connected when we're apart. FaceTime video calls. Text messages. It's a poor substitute for being together every day but it's not like 100 years ago writing letters or 40 years ago running up a massive long distance telephone bill. Would I want to do it for several years? No. For 6 to 9 months? We're making it work.
Edited:
The answers are:
1. 900 miles
2. There's no explaining "This works for both of us. Let's put in the effort to make it work."
3. We're from the same town. We're 2 years apart in age. A huge amount of things in common.
4. We see each other a couple times per month. We're both career road warriors. Hopping on an airplane is no big deal.
5. I didn't foresee how effective FaceTime is at staying in contact with someone. I've had LDR before where it was telephone. That didn't work well. Video calls work way better.
6. We're sorting out the geography problem now. Worst case, another 6 to 8 months.
2. Would you admit it was because you couldn't get a local partner or have yo formed coping mechanisms as to why you would choose a lover across the globe rather than a local one ("No one in my country gets me like my LDR lover does", etc)
3. How often did you meet up? How did you convince friends that this wasn't a crazy idea or a catfish, etc?
4. How did it feel seeing your friends with their partners while you counted down the months until you could spend a few days with yours?
5. What did you not foresee going into it?
6. How long did it last? If you are now dating local, didn't you just say that "No one else in my country got me like my LDR lover did" above?
Thanks.
1. 180 Miles.
2. We met locally, but then he had to move away.
3. We met up either every weekend, or every other weekend. I didn't care what anyone else thought about it.
4. I wasn't bothered about anyone else's life.
5. The travelling was tiring, and it was sad having to say "goodbye" all the time.
6. 23 years (it's still ongoing - we got married).
2. Would you admit it was because you couldn't get a local partner or have yo formed coping mechanisms as to why you would choose a lover across the globe rather than a local one ("No one in my country gets me like my LDR lover does", etc)
Not at all, we met through a dating app because he worked in my city most weeks but went home for the weekends. It was a tough situation going in but we liked each other enough to see how things would progress
3. How often did you meet up? How did you convince friends that this wasn't a crazy idea or a catfish, etc?
For us we usually got to see each other once a week or every other week because he would travel to me for work, so it wasn't a traditional LDR, but still we didn't live in the same city. The most we've had to be apart is 5 weeks in a row
4. How did it feel seeing your friends with their partners while you counted down the months until you could spend a few days with yours?
I didn't really compare myself to my friends. A lot of my friends are single anyway.
5. What did you not foresee going into it?
I never thought I would be okay dating someone long distance. It is hard, really hard. Sometime the distance felt almost unbearable.
6. How long did it last? If you are now dating local, didn't you just say that "No one else in my country got me like my LDR lover did" above?
It's been over 2 years now. We finally live in the same city, but he travels for work and we still have to be apart a lot.
Exciting at first increasingly mundane and annoying near the end.
It was a lot of forcing myself to do things unnaturally to me just so i could keep some connection to the other. It is not my preferred lifestyle or way to conduct my life in any way shape or form.
Had there not been a push and a plan in place to change the situation we would not have worked out.
1. Southern Canada to the southern United States
2. We already had an established connection to one another, but had lost touch over the years due to distance and personal choices. We reconnected as friends years later and the whole thing snowballed from that point. Getting interest from others was never an issue for use, we just connected and wanted to be with the other.
3. As much as time and money allowed. We both traveled for business so times apart and spent together varried. Our fiends really had no care or say in our relationship and they had any reason to question any of it.
4. I felt nothing out of the usual, It never bothered me to see others living their lives. There was no desperation involved in our coupling so their was none to be experienced.
5. A lot of paperwork, money and immigration headaches. Surprise! I got what I expected lol
6. Still ongoing. Next year will be our 14th wedding anniversary and our 17th together as a couple
Last edited by rego00123; 10-03-2016 at 02:23 PM..
2. Would you admit it was because you couldn't get a local partner or have yo formed coping mechanisms as to why you would choose a lover across the globe rather than a local one ("No one in my country gets me like my LDR lover does", etc)
Had nothing to do with that. Could have found a local partner but wasn't looking for a partner. This was an old friend that I had not been in contact for several years. It just 'happened'. Neither of us was looking for a relationship.
3. How often did you meet up? How did you convince friends that this wasn't a crazy idea or a catfish, etc?
Usually about every other weekend. Didn't give a damn what my friends thought. Why would I?
4. How did it feel seeing your friends with their partners while you counted down the months until you could spend a few days with yours?
Didn't bother me. Not one to measure the quality of my life against that of others. They have their lives, I have mine.
5. What did you not foresee going into it?
You can never know everything beforehand. Didn't know she was not as driven as I am.
6. How long did it last? If you are now dating local, didn't you just say that "No one else in my country got me like my LDR lover did" above?
We have been married 19 years.
Thanks.
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