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She is young. She is having fun and not committing and enjoying attention...why? Well, refer to statement # 1 right there at the beginning of this paragraph... <--
Most, or at least many, people do at least a few dumb, not really thoughtful, just for fun things when they're young. That doesn't mean they're deliberately being malicious. It means they don't really know how to do all this yet, and they're exploring.
You won't accomplish anything if you accuse her of stringing you along. You'll just look (sorry) a little unhinged/over-the-top (IMO). You'll feel worse about yourself, she'll feel worse about her opinion of you and you still won't have closure or any of that good stuff. All of that can only come from you.
Just let it go. I am sorry you're hurting.
JerZ, thank you for this. It was what my heart was already telling me. She absolutely strung me along, and I did nothing but treat her with affection and kindness, but regardless, telling her these things will not change the situation, nor will it make me feel any better. I have to accept it as a lesson learned. I'm not sure I accept purely putting it all down to age - when I was 25 I would be honest with people when I knew their feelings were at stake, so maybe that tells me she's not for me anyway. It just hurts because I really did care for her so much.
JerZ, thank you for this. It was what my heart was already telling me. She absolutely strung me along, and I did nothing but treat her with affection and kindness, but regardless, telling her these things will not change the situation, nor will it make me feel any better. I have to accept it as a lesson learned. I'm not sure I accept purely putting it all down to age - when I was 25 I would be honest with people when I knew their feelings were at stake, so maybe that tells me she's not for me anyway. It just hurts because I really did care for her so much.
How do feel about having a non-committed, physical/sexual/hangout, somewhat intermittent kind of relationship in which you are not that invested in her?
How do feel about having a non-committed, physical/sexual/hangout, somewhat intermittent kind of relationship in which you are not that invested in her?
Annyway, the question is this - I obviously now realize that all the words (as convincing as they were) were bs, that I was being treated like an option while she was waiting to get back with him,
This girl has a TON of options. Write a song about something else.
If you are OK with a more casual, physical, and non-committal type of relationship with her where she actually pursues you a bit, you could probably easily have that with her.
My son, same age as you, and his girl, 7 yrs. younger...same scenerio! I will say what I told him....You deserve to be treated the same way you treat the girl. If it's different, move on. They don't appreciate you. As a mom, I hate to see his heart ache and break over an immature girl who isn't on the same wave length.
What is it with first-time posters writing the equivalent of War and Peace when it comes to relationship problems?
If you're legit:
1) The longer it takes to describe a relationship problem, the more convoluted it is and the less likely it can be resolved.
2) Yeah, accusing a woman of being a liar and a tease is the surefire way to win her affections.
3) You used the word "flake" when it comes to plans. As in multiple plans. As in more than one time. Once is an accident. Twice is a red flag. Three times is a pattern. Women don't flake on guys they care about.
4) If you really give a damn about yourself, walk away from it. If she's interested, she'll reach back out. If not, you at least have your dignity.
There.
This. Except don't get so confrontational with her regarding her lying. I'd have just said goodbye, walked, and never looked back! And if she'd reached out to get together, "Sorry, I'm busy."
Let it slide. Don't be a dramatic butthead (you'll regret it later..) , , , If she contacts you years from now or whatever & you're still mad about it, then tell her off..
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