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I never said that. You are putting words in my mouth.
I said the single women that I have run into that were in my age group look very aged or are very overweight or unhealthy.
I haven't run into one that was single that I was at all attracted to in any way.
Pay attention to the word "single".
Why is this hard? Ask out the women you want to ask out and tell them how old you are.
If they don't like it they'll go. If they do like it they'll stay.
None of us can change any of this for you so what is it you want us to say? Just like nearly everybody else, you're going to have to go out with a ton of people before you find the right one.
And yeah, that very specific "11 years" thing sounds kind of silly. Are you sure you're not "prompting" by dropping your age so you can see them widen their eyes and go "OMG, you CAN'T be" because they realize that's what you want to hear? There have actually been several threads about this subject. It's always easy to tell when someone is fishing even though the person is thinking s/he is being sly and acting casual about it. I'm not saying you're definitely doing that but if you are, it's all but guaranteed that the women are picking up on it and just kind of disgusted by it and so they pretty much fade away. Just a thought.
Tried that. Large majority aren't single. But thats how it is, statistically most in my age group would be already married/paired off with someone else for a long duration.
So then where are you meeting these women?
Have you considered a session with a dating coach just to get a *realistic* idea of why you are being rejected and whether it actually does have to do with your real age v. your looks, and if so, what to do about it? For instance, if you're mackin' around campus in a backward cap, well...(That's an exaggeration, but you get the idea.)
Someone who knows and loves you is just going to tell you what you want to hear. "You're so right, you look SO young, that's totally the problem." If so, then as I said, you just have to keep trying. Can't do a single thing about it in that case. But what if it's not the problem...?
Why is this hard? Ask out the women you want to ask out and tell them how old you are.
If they don't like it they'll go. If they do like it they'll stay.
None of us can change any of this for you so what is it you want us to say? Just like nearly everybody else, you're going to have to go out with a ton of people before you find the right one.
And yeah, that very specific "11 years" thing sounds kind of silly. Are you sure you're not "prompting" by dropping your age so you can see them widen their eyes and go "OMG, you CAN'T be" because they realize that's what you want to hear? There have actually been several threads about this subject. It's always easy to tell when someone is fishing even though the person is thinking s/he is being sly and acting casual about it. I'm not saying you're definitely doing that but if you are, it's all but guaranteed that the women are picking up on it and just kind of disgusted by it and so they pretty much fade away. Just a thought.
Why's it so difficult? I dont know. Maybe because I was married and together with my wife for 15 years. We met when we were really young. So beyond that dating and relationship experience, I really dont know anything different.
Things were a lot different back then than they are now.
A few months ago I decided to re-enter the dating scene once again ever since my wife passed away roughly 3 years ago from cancer. But I am experiencing a unique dilemma .... the problem is that I look at least 11 years younger than I actually am.
[brag] Oh, I know. People can never believe that I'm not still in my 20s. [/brag]
[brag] Oh, I know. People can never believe that I'm not still in my 20s. [/brag]
See, that's what I'm thinking.
It could just be the attitude.
It's always SO obvious when a person "reveals" his or her age and wants/needs to be told "OMG, you look sooooooo young." It's uncomfortable...unless the OP is hunting down very young girls and they're turned off that they're about to sleep with a middle-aged guy. In which case he's really looking in the wrong demographic. "Turned off by middle-aged men" is just not going to work out, full stop.
I just realized that the ones telling him 39 is too old for them had been thinking he was under 30
Being almost 40 may have been too old if he was chasing girls in their early to mid 20's.
I'm 39. I find that I mostly gravitate towards women between 25 - 29, but there were a few who were 22 and 23 years old who thought I was a student in college like they were.
You're 39, and the women your age ALL look haggard and dumpy?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, right! SO not believing you! How would you even know how old the women you see are? Are you talking about OLD, where you can see their photos and their ages? Because IRL, some of the women you see around you, whom you assume to be in their 20's, are actually your age or older. They're in the same boat you are. They're getting approached by 20-somethings and giving them the brush-off.
You're 39, and the women your age ALL look haggard and dumpy?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, right! SO not believing you! How would you even know how old the women you see are? Are you talking about OLD, where you can see their photos and their ages? Because IRL, some of the women you see around you, whom you assume to be in their 20's, are actually your age or older. They're in the same boat you are. They're getting approached by 25-year-olds and giving them the brush-off.
This thread is so bogus!
I think OP needs an ego boost due to coming off a long marriage, which can be devastating, but he's only going to keep getting hurt this way, chasing the young girls who try to ignore how old they realize he actually is, until he blurts his age and grins expectantly at them waiting for them to SWEAR they thought he was a junior in high school, and then that's just the last straw for them, they can't do it, they take off.
OP, you're just searching too young and yes, it's for an ego boost. It's 100% B.S. that there aren't attractive women in your age group. You're looking to turn back time and "start over" as if your marriage didn't happen, and in order to do that, you'd have to go back 15 years. You're attempting to do that by dating 15 years younger but it won't work. Like it or not, you'll still be 39 and the past 15 years will still have happened.
Divorce can be rough and yes, it can be ego-busting. You may want to look into talking to someone just to get a feel for where you are mentally and emotionally and to straighten things out a little. There is no shame in that. 15 years of marriage is a long time.
I am laughing at 30-40 year old women referred to as "aged."
Really laughing!
yeah, WTF?
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[/brag]
