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I could bring an open minded feminist woman who will say that what she is saying is complete bull. Any of those female actors who played characters in sex and the city will tell her what she is saying is bull. Any woman not brainwashed into conservative nonsense regarding relationships will tell you her way is not how the dating scene is like right now. Women will have sex with you on the first or second date. The majority of them. This isn't the 50's or 60's where those games worked. It's a different era.
I agree with some of the things you say, never watched sex and the city, (it was years ago anyway, don't understand why the sudden flood of references about that old show?).
I do have female friends, relatives and co workers, I'd say less than half agree with you (or me) about the second date thing, not that I talk about my own experiences, but I can tell by the way they do, it's not most of the female dating population who has sex with someone as soon as they determine they "would".
She told him "friends" but that she wanted to continue making out. Doesn't sound like she meant "friends" to me. That's where the OP got confused. He heard "friends" and panicked that she was going to friend-zone him, without absorbing the rest of what she was saying (the kissing part). In any case, it's already been stated on this thread that the OP could ask for clarification, if he thinks he's been friend-zoned.
OP I've encountered so many girls like the one you mentioned. Women make up these excuses because she doesn't have any romantic interest in you. However most women like attention. So subconsciously they think they can continue to use a man until Flavio comes along and sweeps them off their feet. Move on from this chick, there are 3,500,000,000 other females in this planet. For the sake of your own happiness move on. Don't be a door mat and have her continue to use you. Next time move fast...escalate on the second date at least. Women know within seconds if they see themselves having sex with a man.
And just one more instance of a dude that is completely clueless.
And just one more instance of a dude that is completely clueless.
Why wouldn't you want to be intimate with a man after seeing him 5-6 times!!!!! What more do you need?
I'm not sure if you're into sports but I'll go out and use a sports analogy.
Let's say your son is an athlete who plays basketball in college. He had an awesome first year. NBA Scouts want him. OHe goes with your advice and decides to stay in school. Over the past 3 years NBA scouts get to know him a little bit more and he becomes less desirable because of other freshman who have more potential coming into the scene. If he went to the NBA after the freshman year at least the organization will be stuck with him. The connection is already established. They have to deal with there flaws as they get to know each other.
Dating is the same way. If you don't move fast she will find the stupidest excuse to avoid having sex. The more you take her out, the less of a chance you have of having sex with her. You risk another man sweeping her off her feet if you don't have sex with her fast. It's normal and it's also science. Do not listen to these prudes
I don't disagree with everything Tranger says, but I don't agree with a lot of it either.
He's the same guy that started having sex with a girl his friend was dating and didn't even have the decency to tell the poor guy that she was never gonna hook up with him and let's him continue to make a fool out of himself by taking her and put and (I'm assuming) spending money on her and getting and nowhere.
Many girls will have sex after only 3 dates or less. I've found a few. Then there's quite a few that take a bit longer, like the girl the OP is with. I'm still not sure if she likes him a lot or not, or how high her interest level is. But girls don't make out with a guy they don't like. I'm sure it's happened before and I can see it happening once or twice and then a girl stops it. But unless she's being paid or just doing this to psychologically screw with the guy (which would be very cruel), I'd have to think she has some attraction level to him.
Why wouldn't you want to be intimate with a man after seeing him 5-6 times!!!!! What more do you need?
You've been told why women wait -the ones that do. But you are determined to think it's all lies, and that WOMEN telling you these things don't know anything about women. But thing is, again ALL WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME. The women who do wait are just explaining to you why they would, not saying that all women operate in that way.
And a woman who chooses to wait isn't automatically a prude. If we're going to name-call or give bad labels, then I could say that all the women who have slept with you after a few dates are whores. And mature women, worth having, are the ones who can control themselves, rather than always being in heat and sleeping with men as soon as they come in.
See how that works. I am sure MANY people would find the above very offensive. And understandably so.
Many people hate ****-shaming. But they should give the same courtesy of not shaming Don't shame period. People hated being shamed for wanting to engage in free love. Thus those same people shouldn't be shaming those who chose to wait. The clear example of the shoe being on the other foot these days. Like some "feminists" who hate men controlling women in the past, but those same women want to control and have power over men. Some people who talk about equality don't actually want it. They want , or want to feel, superiority.
Different sexual beliefs exist, and neither party s bad, or wrong, for how they operate sexually. Unless they're being hypocrites. "I can do this, but others can't." Otherwise, some people are into sexual freedom. Others are not, and prefer to have established relationships or trust before they move to sex.
You mention why wait after 5 or 6 meetings. That's not enough time to build trust for some people. Let me ask you a non-sexual question, for example. If you meet someone 5 times, would you trust them for the following?
1. To have a key to your house?
2. To Borrow your car?
3. To go someplace with your credit card?
4. To watch your baby (if / when you have one)?
Another example. If you start dating a woman. Would you take her home to meet your family and advertise it as a serious relationship after only 5 dates? Would you already be telling them you love them after 5 dates?
If your answer is "no" to these, then that's the same with sex. Some people don't feel comfortable enough and trust someone enough to give access to their body after only 5 meetings. Now if your answer is "yes", there's nothing wrong with it. But many don't trust & move that fast.
Again, nothing wrong with people who meet and have sex. If they both wanted it, then have at it. But some people do move slower. And they don't have to be prudes or playing any game. It's just their wiring.
Last edited by HappyRain; 11-01-2016 at 05:23 PM..
Why wouldn't you want to be intimate with a man after seeing him 5-6 times!!!!! What more do you need?
I'm not sure if you're into sports but I'll go out and use a sports analogy.
Let's say your son is an athlete who plays basketball in college. He had an awesome first year. NBA Scouts want him. OHe goes with your advice and decides to stay in school. Over the past 3 years NBA scouts get to know him a little bit more and he becomes less desirable because of other freshman who have more potential coming into the scene. If he went to the NBA after the freshman year at least the organization will be stuck with him. The connection is already established. They have to deal with there flaws as they get to know each other.
Dating is the same way. If you don't move fast she will find the stupidest excuse to avoid having sex. The more you take her out, the less of a chance you have of having sex with her. You risk another man sweeping her off her feet if you don't have sex with her fast. It's normal and it's also science. Do not listen to these prudes
Look, I actually think what you're saying (last few sentences) is right in more than 50% of the time. But there are definitely exceptions. This girl might be a virgin for all we know.
I went out with a girl for almost a year before having sex. It was back in 2004, so not too long ago. And she was a virgin. I know we could have had sex about 3 months into the relationship. But I don't think she was having sex with me after 6 dates. She probably would have told me after the fact that she would have. She was also an 18 year old virgin. I think some perspective is needed here. The advice you're giving is not universal and doesn't apply to ALL women. I do believe in over 50% of cases that a girl that likes you will definitely be having sex with you by date 6. But you seem to be swearing that it's gospel or written in stone.
OP you did nothing wrong. Just as she has a right to want to take it slow, you have every right to make your intentions clear, which is either relationship moves forward or you both goes separate ways. You prevented yourself from being in the friendzone. Now you should talk to her as part of class, but outside stick to your own guns.
She now knows she can either stay in a relationshop with you or you will find someone else. I don't understand Der stand why others here are labeling you a petulant child, it seems people want guys to just allow the woman to call the shots and if he become s just a friend, then he should play along. You don't want to be her friend, you want to take things further. Been dating for five or six months, things should be moving along. It's already slow. Now if this was date three in the first month, then I would say she was in the right. If she does not come around, date other girls. Don't linger I the friendzone.
Most women would be smart to wait until way after date 6 to have sex. Things would work out much better for them if they did this.
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