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I just would not rule out a relationship due to culture. In the past, I dated people from various cultures. My family upbringing is pretty multi-cultural, and it was encouraged that we form relationships with those from other cultures. My hippy professor parents moved our family around the world to pursue this ideal, and we were also constantly taking in foreign students from various cultures.
I could not assume someone followed certain cultural practice that would be a negative for me, until I got to know them better. And even then maybe I'd accept/manage certain non-threatened practices if that person treated me well and I was attracted to that person spiritually, emotionally, physically... I'm thinking of some of the unsettling cultural practices/attitudes I've seen in my travels, and some of the people in those cultures who did not practice/think these things and/or they respected others differing beliefs/lifestyles and would make great partners.
So my answer still is that I would judge the person individually, and not by their cultural background.
Oh, I have dated people from various cultures and different skin colors, too. But there are few I exclude.
Part of the problem, as is often the case on internet forums, is that the title of the thread doesn't match the idea in the OP.
The thread title certainly allows for the possibility that the person in question is not closely tied to that culture whereas the OP is less clear on that point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seixal
Would a potential mate's culture prevent you from starting a relationship with them?
Again, though, flipping the question around lends some clarity.
Would a potential mate's culture entice you to start a relationship with them?
It certainly might, but, in the end, the actions/beliefs of the individual will be much more important.
I know well what Bayes' Theorem is so you can save the stupid 8th grade stats module crap. Actually, your analogy is so flawed it wouldn't pass 8th grade homework.
The problem here is people aren't samples and emotional investments are not statistical models, and having a bias is NOT an inherent negative, not when the odds are improved to have the desired outcome. We all don't have to have giant sample sizes to come to conclusions on what is best for us, and create biases that actually help us. That is perfectly wise. We actually call it learning through experience.
How is the analogy flawed?
People are samples and, no, emotional investments are not statistical models. But statistical models certainly can uh...model...emotional investments.
It's you who has gone off track. I'm in no way saying that using biases or assumptions can't improve the odds.
I'm simply saying that some members of a "least preferred culture" may not share all the traits of that group and ultimately, who the individual is is more important than what cultural group(s) they may have been a part of.
Oh, I have dated people from various cultures and different skin colors, too. But there are few I exclude.
Understand... So I guess I'm saying I would not exclude anyone based on any culture, as long as they treated me and others well, with respect, care, and compassion.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skylos
How is the analogy flawed?
People are samples and, no, emotional investments are not statistical models. But statistical models certainly can uh...model...emotional investments.
It's you who has gone off track. I'm in no way saying that using biases or assumptions can't improve the odds.
I'm simply saying that some members of a "least preferred culture" may not share all the traits of that group and ultimately, who the individual is is more important than what cultural group(s) they may have been a part of.
No, statistical models really can't model emotional investments. At all. A heart is not a MM, or a chit, or a widget, or the distribution of a good. The analogy is flawed because you're claiming people are making these decisions always on minimal sample sizes, or they can't actually see what is in the bag without actually reaching in an grabbing it, or they have a capacity to easily take multiple MMs and keep increasing their sample size to get a proper distribution curve (and even then there are outliers, but no one has time/energy to look for exceptions). All of these segments of your analogy are completely flawed.
And no one has ever claimed every member of any cultural group will shared every trait of that group. Ever. Nice red herring.
A person of any background can accept that background anywhere from 0 to 100 percent.
And?
You stated that your "least favorite cultures are ones that have very rigid ideas about men, women, and their intermingling" but you would accept someone from such a culture so long as they were "no longer a part of it" and had "no affinity for it's values".
So, again. It's not about the culture, it's about the individual
They way it should be.
This would be post # 37. Please elaborate on "They (sic) way it should be."
No, statistical models really can't model emotional investments. At all. A heart is not a MM, or a chit, or a widget, or the distribution of a good.
A heart also has nothing to do with emotional investments
Quote:
The analogy is flawed because you're claiming people are making these decisions always on minimal sample sizes, or they can't actually see what is in the bag without actually reaching in an grabbing it, or they have a capacity to easily take multiple MMs and keep increasing their sample size to get a proper distribution curve (and even then there are outliers, but no one has time/energy to look for exceptions). All of these segments of your analogy are completely flawed.
Ok. It was a little flawed.
Change it to they took out a handful of M&M's and concluded that ALL the M&M's in the bag were green.
That's the more apt analogy.
Quote:
And no one has ever claimed every member of any cultural group will shared every trait of that group. Ever. Nice red herring.
Are you sure?
Because to say this, you have to have looked at EVERY M&M.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skylos
A heart also has nothing to do with emotional investments
Uh, WTF are you talking about. That is exactly what it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skylos
It was a little flawed.
Change it to they took out a handful of M&M's and concluded that ALL the M&M's in the bag were green.
That's the more apt analogy.
And it is still flawed. They aren't deciding all the MMs were green. They decided they don't want to take anymore to try to find one that isn't green. It isn't worth their time/energy and emotional investment. There is a cost to keep sampling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skylos
Are you sure?
Because to say this, you have to have looked at EVERY M&M.
With past missionary work, I have been in the middle of some pretty dangerous, misogynistic, "least preferred" cultures around the world, but could probably come up with an example of a local volunteer I'd date from each one of these cultures, because they were caring individuals, often trying to promote positive cultural change - that is what I find extremely attractive in a person.
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