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I honestly don't think this is anything new. "So many men just want to mess around until it gets old and then they're on to greener pastures" is a decades-old complaint. Far from all men, of course. But enough that your mother was probably worried about the same thing and depending on your age, maybe her mother too.
It sounds to me with this most recent example that he found somebody else, though. IME, when a person says he or she wants to find a particular type of person that means he or she already has. Again, JME. I am not the final authority. "I want" or "I need" in some abstract "in the future" way just makes the person sound like less of a jerk than "I need to unload you so I'm free to make my official move with Jessica".
I could be wrong...just an impression.
But a guy wanting regular sex for a few weeks and then breaking things off? Nothing new by any means. I would be wary of all the a girl like you is so hard to find stuff. These guys are trying to make you believe there is a connection super fast and the whole "I never fall this fast" or "You're so different from other women" stuff is fairly common panty dropper fare. I think it is probably in the Panty Dropper Rulebook. Beware of guys who seem to want to be making ultra deep connections really fast.
With all this said, there is another possibility - they really may just get scared when things get too deep. They see you are more serious about a relationship and they know they don't want to go that route with anyone. That is common too. You can't change that. That is on them. They are not terrible people. They and you simply want different things.
That goes for women too.
I've dated a few women with the same mentality. Find a guy, date him for a few weeks, claims that he's "a man among men" or some other trivial truck. Without warning, she claims "I can't have a relationship right now." So you can't say that it's always the guys who "pump and dump". I've seen women pull it also!
That goes for women too.
I've dated a few women with the same mentality. Find a guy, date him for a few weeks, claims that he's "a man among men" or some other trivial truck. Without warning, she claims "I can't have a relationship right now." So you can't say that it's always the guys who "pump and dump". I've seen women pull it also!
Yup.
I've even heard stories of a woman having sex with a guy, and then never contacting or seeing him again.
Women themselves also have their own version of the "pump and dump."
That goes for women too.
I've dated a few women with the same mentality. Find a guy, date him for a few weeks, claims that he's "a man among men" or some other trivial truck. Without warning, she claims "I can't have a relationship right now." So you can't say that it's always the guys who "pump and dump". I've seen women pull it also!
Most of the drivel I read here is perpetuated by both sides. Probably just about evenly. Yet here we are with the same old bs generalizations about one sex or the other. I find it annoying, exhausting,and stupid to be honest. People are lame and have no logic and the older I get the more people suck. No rational logic skills to say the damn least.
That goes for women too.
I've dated a few women with the same mentality. Find a guy, date him for a few weeks, claims that he's "a man among men" or some other trivial truck. Without warning, she claims "I can't have a relationship right now." So you can't say that it's always the guys who "pump and dump". I've seen women pull it also!
Most of the drivel I read here is perpetuated by both sides. Probably just about evenly. Yet here we are with the same old bs generalizations about one sex or the other. I find it annoying, exhausting,and stupid to be honest. People are lame and have no logic and the older I get the more people suck. No rational logic skills to say the damn least.
The OP is looking for input on all possiblities, so... (shrug)
What I stated was not drivel but instead was my direct experience...just my own...as I stated.
How the hell else are we supposed to give input but our own experiences? We are not all forming and testing a hypothesis and then having it peer reviewed by an impartial non-compensated organization or something.
This forum seems to seriously be bothering you lately...yet here you are...repeatedly stating the forum is crap, fake, full of generalizations and useless. Um, okay...?
You would have to explore what it is in the men you are seeing that is causing them to avoid or keep their distance from committing to get a solid answer.
Every man who exhibits this type of behavior is not going to have the same rational or reasoning for this.
I would love to give you a simple one size fits all answer, but frankly none exist.
I would also point out as a male, I have experienced my own fair share of wishy washy mates in my history. Every single one had their own reasoning (understood by themselves or not) but only one thing really mattered at the end of the day...no commitment was ever going to be honored and as such no relationship was going to be entertained.
The OP is looking for input on all possiblities, so... (shrug)
What I stated was not drivel but instead was my direct experience...just my own...as I stated.
How the hell else are we supposed to give input but our own experiences? We are not all forming and testing a hypothesis and then having it peer reviewed by an impartial non-compensated organization or something.
This forum seems to seriously be bothering you lately...yet here you are...repeatedly stating the forum is crap, fake, full of generalizations and useless. Um, okay...?
my post had little to do with what you are saying here. I'm apparently have been bothering you with my posts. Lol sorry for that. I think you've been seeing my posts in a wrong light idk. Maybe I'm wrong who knows. I'm so Zen about this place e lately that it's almost funny. I have zero involvement here like I used too.
I am almost certain if you were dating mr. beta male you would be acting like the men you're talking about who aren't open to committed relationship. Relationships are a gamble. You win some or lose some. There is no criteria or formula to having an exclusive relationship. It just happens and it won't happen if you don't gamble. If I were you continue to be more open which means have sex if you like the guy rather than making him wait. Most married couples have sex on the first date. It's up to the both of you after that if you choose to want to make the relationship develop. It has to be mutual. It's a gamble, but the more you try you will definitely strike gold. It happened with the last girl. Had sex with her in the first date. I was non commital but after going out a couple times I somewhat liked what she offered. There were more pros than cons about her and we had a long relationship which only ended because she went off to med school.
I seriously doubt most married couples had sex on the first date.
I'm almost 30 and have being single since April. Before that I was in a 6 year relationship, and before that, when I was in my early 20s everything was way more straightforward - I like you, you like me - we are a couple, or if there were hookups, they were just hookups and no casual dating etc. So, I'm sorry, I am more or less new to this whole dating thing, and for sure sound naive and clueless.
I've been dating for the past 8 months, and got into a few mini relationship through friends' friends and also online dating. But all of them follow the same pattern - a guy acts like he is really into me, we start dating and everything is great, and they basically treat me like a girlfriend, but after a month or 2, they all, out of the blue, tell me, that things between us are getting too serious, they are not ready for commitment, they just want to enjoy the moment etc. It is confusing, because I always thought, that if a man is just looking for sex, he will just call or text to arrange a meeting at his or my place or maybe text something dirty. All of these guys were taking me out on proper dates, were not scared to hug and kiss me in public, sometimes spent entire weekends with me, told me how hard it is to find someone as great as I am etc. etc. and then just suddenly they don't want a relationship (no fights or any issues that I see).
I am a relationship kind of person and don't really like casual sex, so I am very careful about who am I dating. I'm not looking for a super hot or super rich guy. All of them seemed like very nice guys genuinely interested in me, we clicked, had things in common, similar sense of humour etc., yet it seems like it doesn't work.
I'm not sure, if everyone has commitment issues today and just prefers casual dating, or am I doing something wrong. I'm not pushy or clingy, we usually see each other one or twice a week, and I'm not asking for more, and just keeping myself occupied with friends, family and hobbies. I never fight or complain about them going out with their friends. I usually have sex after several dates, and have fun whenever I see these guys. 2 weeks ago I met a new guy, who also seems into me, and I like him too. But I'm scared that the same thing is going to happen again.
Guys, what makes you commit to a woman, and what scares you away? Girls, what do you do to make a man to date you only and make them be more serious about you?
By age 30 there are plenty of men who want to lock down a decent woman in a committed relationship. You are the common denominator in getting involved with men who aren't really interested.The fact that you can't seem to find any men that want to be in a relationship suggests that you have something going on that attracts you to guys who aren't available for what you want. This also suggests that your dad was not available to you growing up.
By age 30 there are plenty of men who want to lock down a decent woman in a committed relationship. You are the common denominator in getting involved with men who aren't really interested.The fact that you can't seem to find any men that want to be in a relationship suggests that you have something going on that attracts you to guys who aren't available for what you want. This also suggests that your dad was not available to you growing up.
Nothing she said suggests that for sure.
Second, plenty of men and women lead people on. You can't necessarily blame her for that. Contrary to what you may think, nobody is a mind reader and can know everything that the other person is thinking at all times.
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