What the heck happened to casual dating? (serious, perfect, people)
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How on earth would I know what "my intentions are" if I don't even know you yet?
Right?!! When I was dating, I did not know my intentions with that person until I got to know them.
Just because I wanted a LTR doesn't mean anyone would fit in that role.
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Well...if we're going to continue going down this road, someone I'm getting aquainted with isn't my date until I'm out on a date. Someone I messaged with, then texted with, then talked to on phone, got along well enough to meet in person seems like a friend. I think the debate about whether to call them friend or date is a-non issue. I think of them as my date when I'm on a date with them, otherwise they're seen as my friend. That's my idea, I was open to suggestion but haven't found anything incorrect about it for my experience.
If you haven't met him in person, he can't be a friend; he's still a stranger. You don't know if the person behind those texts is real or if his stated interests and personality is real. The word "seems" in your statement is key. He may "seem" like a friend, but he's not one until you can get to know him in person. We're seeing more people make this mistake on this forum, lately; mistaking a textship with someone they've never met for a real relationship.
If you haven't met him in person, he can't be a friend; he's still a stranger. You don't know if the person behind those texts is real or if his stated interests and personality is real. The word "seems" in your statement is key. He may "seem" like a friend, but he's not one until you can get to know him in person. We're seeing more people make this mistake on this forum, lately; mistaking a textship with someone they've never met for a real relationship.
So, in order for someone to be a friend, or to really *know* about someone, they need to be in the same room?
What if, after chatting/skyping/whatever, people meet and find out that, yes, the other person was being absolutely truthful about everything they have said? Yes, this does happen- probably more than you think.
So, in order for someone to be a friend, or to really *know* about someone, they need to be in the same room?
What if, after chatting/skyping/whatever, people meet and find out that, yes, the other person was being absolutely truthful about everything they have said? Yes, this does happen- probably more than you think.
That's great. If the person turns out to be bona fide, and their actions back up their words consistently, then at that point, they're a friend (or a date, or whatever).
That's great. If the person turns out to be bona fide, and their actions back up their words consistently, then at that point, they're a friend (or a date, or whatever).
That is quite a hardline view of human interactions.
Like there's something magical about being in the same room with someone that makes a relationship, on whatever level, "real".
If you haven't met him in person, he can't be a friend; he's still a stranger. You don't know if the person behind those texts is real or if his stated interests and personality is real. The word "seems" in your statement is key. He may "seem" like a friend, but he's not one until you can get to know him in person. We're seeing more people make this mistake on this forum, lately; mistaking a textship with someone they've never met for a real relationship.
Grrrrrr Ruth, if it were anyone else, I wouldn't reply....but since you're always nice: I'm saying I call that a friend as opposed to a date. I'm not texting with a date at that moment, we're not on a date, I haven't made plans for one, I'm getting to know someone, only because I like him. I'm nut gullible and naive, I've met quite a few people who are not what they first appeared to me as, if that happens, no---not a friend, I didn't view them as a relationship, just a friend, now not a fiend, no importance or angst involved in this....
I've also met quite a few that communicated ideas and thoughts I agreed with, made me laugh or had interesting stories, it's a week or so before meeting, I understand anything could happen. I don't put myself out there unless there seems to be a real connection or chance that we could have chemistry. When we are on a date I will find it reasonable to refer to him as my date, (probably still not, just not a word I use!) they are still just a friend though. One has to move to commitment and exclusivity to get out of the just a friend stage, in my opinion.
If the person has to be referred to as anything.
I will not be correcting anyone for saying date, I don't care what they refer to that person as, really! Incredible that there is so much concern for what I call friend......and now I have come to the extent of my explanations for using the word 'friend'.
So, in order for someone to be a friend, or to really *know* about someone, they need to be in the same room?
What if, after chatting/skyping/whatever, people meet and find out that, yes, the other person was being absolutely truthful about everything they have said? Yes, this does happen- probably more than you think.
I think I already sent you a 'friend request, right?" Still haven't seen you, but we can keep it as that
Grrrrrr Ruth, if it were anyone else, I wouldn't reply....but since you're always nice: I'm saying I call that a friend as opposed to a date. I'm not texting with a date at that moment, we're not on a date, I haven't made plans for one, I'm getting to know someone, only because I like him. I'm nut gullible and naive, I've met quite a few people who are not what they first appeared to me as, if that happens, no---not a friend, I didn't view them as a relationship, just a friend, now not a fiend, no importance or angst involved in this....
I've also met quite a few that communicated ideas and thoughts I agreed with, made me laugh or had interesting stories, it's a week or so before meeting, I understand anything could happen. I don't put myself out there unless there seems to be a real connection or chance that we could have chemistry. When we are on a date I will find it reasonable to refer to him as my date, (probably still not, just not a word I use!) they are still just a friend though. One has to move to commitment and exclusivity to get out of the just a friend stage, in my opinion.
If the person has to be referred to as anything.
I will not be correcting anyone for saying date, I don't care what they refer to that person as, really! Incredible that there is so much concern for what I call friend......and now I have come to the extent of my explanations for using the word 'friend'.
Sorry, I think we've both got tangled up in some misunderstandings. I wasn't talking about the difference between "friend" and "date". I would call someone I've only texted (and perhaps phoned) with, "the guy I've been texting", lol. But, whatever. "Friend" is more concise, definitely. I've made "friends" with a couple of people on the internet over the years, and we've never met. I refer to those people as "my e-friend" or "email friend". That's what I was addressing: the zone one is in before meeting in person, when most or all communication takes place in the netosphere.
Sorry, I think we've both got tangled up in some misunderstandings. I wasn't talking about the difference between "friend" and "date". I would call someone I've only texted (and perhaps phoned) with, "the guy I've been texting", lol. But, whatever. "Friend" is more concise, definitely. I've made "friends" with a couple of people on the internet over the years, and we've never met. I refer to those people as "my e-friend" or "email friend". That's what I was addressing: the zone one is in before meeting in person, when most or all communication takes place in the netosphere.
That's the issue here. He DIDN'T
I think the moral of this story is: be honest and communicate. If there's not a spark, then be honest about that being the reason for breaking things off. However, if you're just not comfortable with the pace at which things are moving, then have an open discussion with your partner like two mature grown ups.
This applies to all relationships. I've seen relationships fail because people won't sit down and discuss what's going in. Men want to spare women's feelings and women want to spare men's egos.
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