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Old 11-13-2016, 07:43 AM
 
Location: Central TX
2,335 posts, read 4,138,492 times
Reputation: 2812

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In all seriousness, you're handling this the right way, with maturity. If she's not down, it's her loss!

I'd let her make the next move.
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Old 11-13-2016, 09:10 AM
 
2,156 posts, read 3,324,967 times
Reputation: 2837
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matto1020 View Post
So just another update...

I get another text from her the next day saying, "Hey, I'm sure what I said wasn't necessarily what you wanted to hear, but I am enjoying spending time with you and glad you brought it up. Let's plan to do something after the thanksgiving holiday!"

I responded that she shouldn't worry about what she said last night, and that the last thing I want to do is pressure her into something she may or may not be comfortable with. And if she is more in the "unsure but interested" category opposed to the "not feeling it" category, I'd be willing to slow it down but still seeing each other. But again, at this point we should just be honest with each other so we are not leading the other one on. Told her to take some time, think about things, and I'd do the same, and if she was still interested, I'd love to get together again after the holiday.

But as a few of you have already said, if she's not feeling it by this point, I'm not sure that another few weeks will make a difference. That being said, because we are getting close to holiday season, I don't want to start new with anyone right away, and will probably wait until after the new year to start dating again. In the meantime, depending how the conversation goes in a few weeks, I may see this girl once more, just to test things out. Obviously if we get together again, the date will be very low key. But I am not holding out much hope for this.
Not saying this is the problem but some women and men can not make up their minds until you have options. Once you have options, suddenly they are willing to take it to the next level. If I was in your shoes, I would keep it casual and friendly with her but start looking for other opportunities.
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Old 11-13-2016, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Raleigh, North Carolina
2,148 posts, read 1,690,187 times
Reputation: 4186
Is she seeing someone else?

Today is only Nov 13. She essentially told you not to bother her for anything until after the holiday.

Whether you know it or not, she has effectively tossed you into the friend zone. You're the guy she will turn to when no other prospects are on the horizon. You're safe.
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Old 11-13-2016, 10:43 AM
 
65 posts, read 57,151 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by reds37win View Post
Is she seeing someone else?

Today is only Nov 13. She essentially told you not to bother her for anything until after the holiday.

Whether you know it or not, she has effectively tossed you into the friend zone. You're the guy she will turn to when no other prospects are on the horizon. You're safe.
Not sure if she's seeing anyone else. There was really no reason to ask at that point. In regards to the after Thanksgiving thing, that was more of a mutual agreement. I leave to go out of town this coming Thursday and will be gone all of Thanksgiving week, and she will be out of town most of that week also. So after the holiday seemed like the most appropriate time.
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Old 11-13-2016, 12:02 PM
 
5,129 posts, read 4,465,675 times
Reputation: 9930
Ya know..., not every relationship starts off with a bang. Some relationships take time to develop as the two people get to know each other. If I were you, I would give her time--like another month. If she's still responding to you like this for another month, then it may be time to bow out.

But at this point, it seems as if she likes you, but is unsure of how to proceed. Give her a little time.

In the meantime, if you meet someone who you hit it off with better than this one, just move on!
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Old 11-13-2016, 12:26 PM
 
Location: NYC
466 posts, read 313,718 times
Reputation: 231
You're doing great bud, keep the pace this way and allow her to figure out if it's worth going to the next level. I would just keep a look out for any behavior that's indicating as you are one of her options. I wouldn't like the idea of her being with other men while with me. It's up to you, just make a decision you feel good about.
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Old 11-13-2016, 12:58 PM
 
Location: Planet Earth, USA
1,704 posts, read 2,318,708 times
Reputation: 3492
She is definitely playing the field OP. That other person for "brunch" is more than likely another guy. She is just using you for dates and spending time together while she finds who she really wants. What she basically said was "you're not exactly what I'm looking for BUT if I can't find what I want, I will reassess my options and possibly make a commitment to you".

You are like a blouse she is holding on to while she is still shopping hoping to find a better deal.

Good thing you didn't embarrass yourself by asking her to be your gf
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Old 11-13-2016, 01:14 PM
 
Location: East Coast of the United States
27,427 posts, read 28,505,652 times
Reputation: 24953
How did you go on 7 dates without becoming more intimate? I don't understand how an adult male and female can go that long without at least feeling each other's private parts at some point. I mean really?

Some of you people out there are good I guess.
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Old 11-13-2016, 09:33 PM
 
65 posts, read 57,151 times
Reputation: 38
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigCityDreamer View Post
How did you go on 7 dates without becoming more intimate? I don't understand how an adult male and female can go that long without at least feeling each other's private parts at some point. I mean really?

Some of you people out there are good I guess.
Believe me, I tried. Had the third date at my place on a Saturday night but she left at 12:30am because she said she was too drunk. Then we had a few more dates, and the goal was this last date inviting her back to my place again... this time she said she had to leave early.
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Old 11-13-2016, 10:40 PM
 
3,770 posts, read 6,726,225 times
Reputation: 3019
It sounds like you are someone she would date, but she doesn't feel much chemistry. If I were you, I'd actively look for other people to date.
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