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He can make a big impression by giving her a few choices of decent restaurants with cozy setting (this way he can control how much he can afford too), and let her pick from the list. That way, he did the planning, but she can choose the place she wants.
Sorry, but as a guy, I choose the place.
I think that a guy who doesn't pick the place is a guy not on his center
Women want a guy who's sure of himself...they feel protected when a guy is taking the lead.
Sorry, but I have found this to be less than true.
Men are really pretty simple creatures. Typically, when we go out, we don't really care where we go, but we also understand that our date/wife may have some restrictions, preferences, etc. We are giving them the chance to voice these concerns and select a place they would prefer. In my mind, it shows that we care about their choices and are really happy just to be with them.
Having been married for a while, the reason I ask has morphed into something completely different. Just about every weekend, we go out for lunch or dinner. I'll begin by asking her what she would like, at which point, she responds with the "I don't care, you choose." answer.
For the next ten minutes, I'll toss out some places and she will reject them. When I finally select a place she favors, we'll go eat.
Now, it's a bit of a game. When she tells me to pick, I'll select a place she would never agree at which point she will pick a place where she really wants to go.
Again, I really don't have much of a preference. When I do, I'll voice it and we'll go there, but the subset of places I would like to go is much bigger than hers, so it only makes sense for her to decide what she wants.
Well, I do like a man with a plan, but sometimes a guy will want to meet at a chain restaurant like Applebee's or Chili's and I have to negotiate for something else.
IMHO, it's all part of the process. The back and forth and negotiation give lots of insight into people's communication skills and patterns.
I can see why the OP doesn't want to go back to they way things were in a previous relationship.
Well, I do like a man with a plan, but sometimes a guy will want to meet at a chain restaurant like Applebee's or Chili's and I have to negotiate for something else.
IMHO, it's all part of the process. The back and forth and negotiation give lots of insight into people's communication skills and patterns.
I can see why the OP doesn't want to go back to they way things were in a previous relationship.
I've dated the no-plan-at-all guys and they are just dreadful. I don't mind taking the lead from time to time, but if a guy asks me out and wants me to make the plan from the start, I know it isn't going to go well.
However, starting right out of the gate with a chain restaurant is just a no unless that is literally the only decent place available in the town. Since that's not the case in my town, that would just be a no go for me.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
However, starting right out of the gate with a chain restaurant is just a no unless that is literally the only decent place available in the town. Since that's not the case in my town, that would just be a no go for me.
Yeah, I've lived in crapholes where Olive Garden and Red Lobster were fine dining. Then one may have a excuse, but seriously, its a bad idea.
There's no one correct answer for this. If it's my home turf and we're talking going out to dinner, I'm going to ask what kind of food she likes and then suggest a few options.
If it's her home turf and I don't know the restaurants, I'll look at Google for options and ratings but I'm going to rely on her opinion.
I'm fully capable of picking a restaurant and I'm affluent enough to pick up the tab. I think it's polite to give my date the option to give her opinion.
I like it when my boyfriend invites me to dinner at a specific place. If I do the inviting, I choose the place.
Early on in a relationship, I'm not comfortable making the choice when asked because I'm not sure what the guy can afford or what type of environment he's comfortable in. I can be comfortable just about anywhere, but I prefer opposite ends of the spectrum -- fine dining or a hot dog stand. I'm not crazy about chain restaurants because they are usually noisy and not conducive to good conversation with a date.
However, OP, I feel you're overthinking this. Some guys ask their dates to choose simply because they think this will please them. I think they're just clueless that it's much better to just make a decision and extend the invitation.
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