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This!!!
Comprehend, they were NOT bf/gf. They had ONE date. She friendzoned him. He's interested in one of her girlfriends.
What's wrong with that??
There's nothing wrong with that. Is her gf interested? If her friend has no qualms, they should go for it, unless her friend is worried about losing the friendship. But no one "owns" anyone after just one date that didn't lead anywhere.
Why was she dating, anyway, if she was thinking of getting back with an ex? That doesn't sound believable; it's one of those dismissals that's just an excuse for "you're not what I'm looking for, sorry". If she's miffed at him, it's no loss to him, but the friend might be uncomfortable.
I would react like that woman did I'm sad to say. It is based on FEELING that, not what is logical and acceptable in the dating realm.
And if we had slept together - HELL NO.
As an innocent bystander not involved in this triangle, I find your friend icky and tacky and none of my girlfriends would be interested in him for that reason.
When this would not apply is if as a group you all were friends for awhile on even footing and feelings developed and although kinda awkward you two want to move forward. And the parties around would have to be mature enough.
From a distance your friend might be considered just a guy who hits on anyone one at a time until he gets lucky - and has nothing to do with compatibility, building a relationship etc...
From a guy's perspective though, bearing in mind how hard it is to meet women or break the ice with strangers/cold approach, he got introduced to a group of women. His potential dating pool suddenly opened up a bit. So after striking out with one, why not try a date with one of the others, who seemed interesting? Why would that be "icky and tacky"? It was just one date, presumably (?) nothing sexual happened.
OTOH, if something sexual did happen, then, yes, it could look like he plans to make his way through this new group of women before moving on to the next scene/batch of women. But I think we'd be reading too much into it, to cast it in that light.
From a guy's perspective though, bearing in mind how hard it is to meet women or break the ice with strangers/cold approach, he got introduced to a group of women. His potential dating pool suddenly opened up a bit. So after striking out with one, why not try a date with one of the others, who seemed interesting? Why would that be "icky and tacky"? It was just one date, presumably (?) nothing sexual happened.
OTOH, if something sexual did happen, then, yes, it could look like he plans to make his way through this new group of women before moving on to the next scene/batch of women. But I think we'd be reading too much into it, to cast it in that light.
Intellectually I agree with you, but this:
"Anyway: She felt annoyed bc his act of moving right along to the next warm body showed he'd be happy with whatever girl is in his sight, she wasn't special, nothing to get over, he's just moving right along real quick. "
"Anyway: She felt annoyed bc his act of moving right along to the next warm body showed he'd be happy with whatever girl is in his sight, she wasn't special, nothing to get over, he's just moving right along real quick. "
(won't let me quote for some reason)
No thanks, second choice (or third or fourth).
I don't get that, either. That's what dating is; one doesn't work out, you move on to the next. We're all a second or third or 25th choice to everyone in the process, as they are to us.
And it's not as if he had a lineup in the beginning to chose from, and said, OK, I'll take J, and if she doesn't work out, A is next on my list. He met someone, went out with her, she introduced him to several other women and then told him she wasn't into him, so he decided to ask out one of her interesting friends. There's no "second choice" there. I don't see how one could construe it that way. There's just a new interest with someone new.
And it's not as if he had a lineup in the beginning to chose from, and said, OK, I'll take J, and if she doesn't work out, A is next on my list.
It sounds like a line-up of products to choose from:
Quote:
Originally Posted by ItsRick24
Anyway, shortly after getting together, she friendzones him. He's met her girlfriends through her. She's told him that she's considered getting back with an ex. Okay, he says, so he makes an inquiry of one of the girlfriends, who's single. Apparently, he's interested.
How about if he finds a girl on his own, doesn't "inquire" about one of her friends as a substitute for the generic any-lady-I-can-date role?
ETA: I read it as him getting the girl he went out with involved for no reason, who did he inquire to?
I don't get that, either. That's what dating is; one doesn't work out, you move on to the next. We're all a second or third or 25th choice to everyone in the process, as they are to us.
And it's not as if he had a lineup in the beginning to chose from, and said, OK, I'll take J, and if she doesn't work out, A is next on my list. He met someone, went out with her, she introduced him to several other women and then told him she wasn't into him, so he decided to ask out one of her interesting friends. There's no "second choice" there. I don't see how one could construe it that way. There's just a new interest with someone new.
Agreed.
He didn't date the first girl so he could meet her friends. She introduced him to her friends. Maybe he and one of her friends had a moment and he wants to explore it.
If there was more of a relationship, that may be a different story, but they had one date, after which she decided he wasn't the one for her.
He didn't date the first girl so he could meet her friends. She introduced him to her friends. Maybe he and one of her friends had a moment and he wants to explore it.
If there was more of a relationship, that may be a different story, but they had one date, after which she decided he wasn't the one for her.
If he was smart, he would just hang with them for a couple of months or so, before starting to put the moves on one of the friends.
If he was smart, he would just hang with them for a couple of months or so, before starting to put the moves on one of the friends.
Probably not a bad idea. I guess it would depend on the reaction of the girl who put him in the friend zone.
Putting someone in the friend zone seems to be a control mechanism. "I don't like you enough to date you, but I know you like me, so I can control your actions." is what I general consider someone who has been banished there.
If, on the other hand, she treated him well and with respect, than I would agree with you.
But, if it is a control mechanism, the faster he can distance himself from that destructive relationship, the better. Otherwise, her friends just continue to associate the two of them.
Probably not a bad idea. I guess it would depend on the reaction of the girl who put him in the friend zone.
Putting someone in the friend zone seems to be a control mechanism. "I don't like you enough to date you, but I know you like me, so I can control your actions." is what I general consider someone who has been banished there.
If, on the other hand, she treated him well and with respect, than I would agree with you.
But, if it is a control mechanism, the faster he can distance himself from that destructive relationship, the better. Otherwise, her friends just continue to associate the two of them.
Right, so with all the single women in the world, it would be a good idea to look elsewhere as well.
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