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It's not about Facebook. That's just one symptom of a bigger problem. The way you describe your girlfriend's actions, she does not sound trustworthy at all. Reread the last major paragraph in your first post, where you mention being a "beta provider". Realize one thing: no one says you have to agree to that role.
she didnt TELL me im a beta provider for her. but I think thats what i am by default because I do provide for her (emotionally) which i think is something she's not used to because she's dated players in the past
I didn't even notice until last year there was a relationship thing on facebook. I've never used it, and looking at most of my friends, including those that are married, they don't use it. It's a non issue. And yeah, you could get "away with" whatever you want on facebook... cause it is freaking facebook.
I have no idea what letting it "pass" means.
For people in their 20s, they know the Ins and Outs of facebook. And if you dont think facebook can be used as a breeding ground for infidelity, then I dont know what to tell you. You have the oldschool mentality of, "its just facebook! its just an app!" Thats not what it is. It's a social networking platform
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaypennington
For people in their 20s, they know the Ins and Outs of facebook. And if you dont think facebook can be used as a breeding ground for infidelity, then I dont know what to tell you. You have the oldschool mentality of, "its just facebook! its just an app!" Thats not what it is. It's a social networking platform
Most of my young staff in their 20s aren't even on facebook, and they certainly don't need apps to hook up if they want to.
We know what FB is. And you are talking to a lot of 20-somethings here who do not agree with you on the importance of it in relationships. So... it's you.
she didnt TELL me im a beta provider for her. but I think thats what i am by default because I do provide for her (emotionally) which i think is something she's not used to because she's dated players in the past
Lol! People don't call each other those terms, especially when they're leveraging you to their advantage. But you are 100% right. This goes much deeper than your 2-line statement, but discussing it on City-Data is against TOS.
Either way, your girlfriend does not sound like a trustworthy person, plain and simple. Because once you two become official, who's to say she won't resume her old lifestyle behind your back?
Well she chose me. Ill admit, it did happen only a month after she got screwed over by yet another player. Im now aware of the possible rebound-elements there. But she said how she wanted stability for herself and her son. I also read some articles about how women in their 20s enjoy a bunch of alpha sex, and then in their late 20s/early 30s they begin to settle down with the nice guys/beta providers (which I guess is the category im lumped into.) Is it cause for concern that she was flirting with those guys and hiding our relationship, even though she deleted them now and has our relationship visible?
Either way, your girlfriend does not sound like a trustworthy person, plain and simple.
That was my original question-- even though she hid our relationship and flirted with random locals on facebook, if she's since deleted them and made our relationship status visible does that make it okay? Thats my question. I responded to another poster with this but-- I read an article about how some women go through most of their 20s enjoying "alpha sex" and then ultimately settle down with the "nice guy". Do you see this to be the case?
It's only been 3 months. For lots of people it can take that long or even longer to switch from calling it dating to considering it a relationship.
Too many people come here worrying about things that will keep them from enjoying what IS and seem to prefer being miserable.
You going to be one of them?
This. Right now, one of my friends had a quick relationship like 20 years ago, but back then, the guy was a player, he played her, she got crushed and went on her way. Fast forward 15 years later, they ran into eachother, hung out, and now they are together with two kids. It was weird, back then, he wasn't ready for a relationship, but now he's matured and has settled down with her.
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