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People like to throw the "real man" around when men dont do what they want, in an attempt to shame them. A smart man would just ignore that garbage and do what he wants.
That's not how I see it. When a male is 20, they tend to be incredibly selfish. In that context, a "real man" basically cares about nothing but themselves. Women are objects and conquests.
I'm 58. In my universe, a "real man" cares about other people. They honor their obligations. It's the antithesis of "does what he wants".
If I may ask, to you is being shallow evil, bad, selfish, or what? Is shallowness not natural or non-human?
I guess I am trying to determine if you think the guy was wrong or bad just because he had a personal dislike of something.
Because you called him an ass for not being attracted to her, instead of saying that they both were in a unfortunate situation. So since you called him a shallow ass, I am guessing you believe he was wrong for feeling what he felt?
I am curious as to your opinion on something: do you believe that it is possible that he did not foresee that happening? Is it possible that he did not ever consider that he would lose attraction once he saw her without her clothes on?
If even for the "smallest" possibility you say that "maybe" it could be a yes, he didn't know it would happen, then why is he a shallow ass for having no control over how he felt? Or do you believe that men should naturally be able to control how they feel?
Of course if you believe that he should have known from the moment he saw her, then I guess there is no need for you to answer that question
Nope, not from the first moment...but he'd been dating her for weeks...so...either he could not surmise or figure out a way to inquire of her that would give him a much better idea of whether she would suit his "needs" or another possibility is that his "acceptable range" is EXTREMELY narrow. So much so that he has next to no tolerance for anything - even an extra 10 pounds on a woman.
Maybe we should feel sorry for him - he's in for WHOLE lot MORE disappointment throughout his life if he can't either find a way to figure it out before she gets naked, OR another viable option, if he could get just a TAD more tolerant.
For some reason many people on here seem to think that each person is BORN with the picture of what turns them on being imprinted in their brains! If that was so, EVERY couple would end up divorced at the age of 35 because that image no longer holds true with their mate. I guess some people manage to get beyond that original imprint, get a little more mature in the head and a bit more tolerant! Maybe there's hope for the OP's hypothetical guy.
Nope, not from the first moment...but he'd been dating her for weeks...so...either he could not surmise or figure out a way to inquire of her that would give him a much better idea of whether she would suit his "needs" or another possibility is that his "acceptable range" is EXTREMELY narrow. So much so that he has next to no tolerance for anything - even an extra 10 pounds on a woman.
In that unlikely situation, too, it may have been the first time that he saw her naked, but did they never hug or put their arms around each other, or make out? He never touched her? He never got a sense of her lifestyle or her past? It's just hard to fathom that anyone could be that surprised after several weeks of dating. I guess it could happen, but still.
This thread is NOT about the guy losing interest in the girl it is about the two questions I asked. I only mentioned that the previous thread is what sparked these questions.
I have no control over what people choose to answer or how; to me these are two totally different subjects. If you wish to start a new thread to answer these you are welcome to it, and thank you for the snarky question
Ok, which guy?
Quote:
Originally Posted by qwy
Hi Reneeh63,
I am curious as to your opinion on something: do you believe that it is possible that he did not foresee that happening?
Is it possible that he did not ever consider that he would lose attraction once he saw her without her clothes on?
If even for the "smallest" possibility you say that "maybe" it could be a yes, he didn't know it would happen, then why is he a shallow ass for having no control over how he felt?
Or do you believe that men should naturally be able to control how they feel?
Of course if you believe that he should have known from the moment he saw her, then I guess there is no need for you to answer that question
Why don't you tell us, since you've put so much time and effort into "this other guy's" feelings and situation?
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Maybe we should feel sorry for him - I guess some people manage to get beyond that original imprint, get a little more mature in the head and a bit more tolerant! Maybe there's hope for the OP's hypothetical guy.
Agreed, this isn't even believable anymore. If anyone has ever been in the situation of really being attracted to someone, and getting to the point of getting to know them well enough to want to take their clothes off, any little imperfections don't provoke a gag reflex, they are generally blindly overlooked because they're already really into them, right?
Someone's got a flowery imagination here, and they're awfully in-tune and defensive of how this one guy in some other story feels
That's not how I see it. When a male is 20, they tend to be incredibly selfish. In that context, a "real man" basically cares about nothing but themselves. Women are objects and conquests.
I'm 58. In my universe, a "real man" cares about other people. They honor their obligations. It's the antithesis of "does what he wants".
And thats your view on it, but to try and shame another man for not looking at the world as you do is ridiculous.
And thats your view on it, but to try and shame another man for not looking at the world as you do is ridiculous.
So I wrote....
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeoffD
That's not how I see it. When a male is 20, they tend to be incredibly selfish. In that context, a "real man" basically cares about nothing but themselves. Women are objects and conquests.
I'm 58. In my universe, a "real man" cares about other people. They honor their obligations. It's the antithesis of "does what he wants".
Yeah. It's ridiculous to expect 20-something men to be anything but selfish and to treat women as anything but objects and conquests. What was I thinking?
Yeah. It's ridiculous to expect 20-something men to be anything but selfish and to treat women as anything but objects and conquests. What was I thinking?
Expecting 20-something men to be anything but selfish and to treat women as anything but objects and conquests is fine. Stating that they are not real men because of that is the ridiculous part.
OP: Why are you taking anyone's answers so personally?
You are asking two questions that really have no right or wrong answer. An individual opinion about anything is simply that, an individual opinion.
If I think it is immoral, wrong or not natural for men to remove all of the hair from their body that is my opinion which does not make the action right or wrong.
If I think using padded bras, push up bras or girdles is falsee advertising for women that is my opinion which does not make the action right or wrong.
Everyone forms their opinion in accordance with the information presented to them mixed with their feelings and past experiences and there is nothing you or anyone else can do to change that.
Many people accept other people as they are, no changes required but many do not and that is a fact of life and the cause of many wars, arguments, break ups, makeups, and marriages. No one is perfect, nothing is perfect yet so many seek perfection which falls in line with their own individual idea of perfection and it is that simple yet that complicated.
I am not perfect, Mr. CSD is not perfect yet we have managed to have and keep a good, solid, strong and loving relationship and marriage for a lot of years.
Do we *like* each other all of the time, NO.
Do we *love* each other all of the time, YES.
When couples/partners can get to his point and maintain this point long term many will have life long togetherness.
Expecting 20-something men to be anything but selfish and to treat women as anything but objects and conquests is fine. Stating that they are not real men because of that is the ridiculous part.
No, my point is that they're immature boys, not "real men". If that bothers you, maybe my point is striking close to home?
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