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If you are trying to acquire dates with women you know nothing about, having "interest" in them despite not having any reason to be interested other than that they are female, then you are being obnoxious.
If that is considered as being obnoxious, then how would you suggest trying to meet someone new in the first place? Using your logic above, if a person has to know someone before he can ask her out, then how does he get to know her to begin with? Especially if you don't know anyone you would be interested in regardless, it's almost like a chicken-and-egg problem?
As far as being obnoxious, I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. Tbh, if you remember what Clark Kent was like from the classic Superman movies, that's pretty much my basic personality, i.e., very mild-mannered. Becoming angry is an extremely rare occurrence, for me. When a person is mean or harsh to me, I almost always get "sad", not "mad".
If you are comparing your personality to that of Clark Kent, then you've identified an important issue.
Why was it that Lois Lane didn't recognize that Clark Kent was Superman? No, it wasn't because of his glasses. It was because Clark Kent was utterly forgettable. He never made an impression- good or bad- on her. When he spoke, it was always awkward. He wasn't endearing. He just was.
While not getting mad or angry all the time is generally accepted as a positive trait, I think the more pertinent question here is what traits do you have that are appealing to someone? Which goes back to the idea that you should probably focus your energies on groups or events that you are very interested in. Not everyone exudes charisma. For a lot of folks, it takes a while to open up and let down boundaries, so that others can see the "real them". So, my suggestion would be to you to find something that you are passionate about- and find others who share that passion. You sound like the type of person who needs to be in a situation where you are happy and comfortable before you open up. That's not a bad thing. You just need to start working with what you've got.
If that is considered as being obnoxious, then how would you suggest trying to meet someone new in the first place? Using your logic above, if a person has to know someone before he can ask her out, then how does he get to know her to begin with? Especially if you don't know anyone you would be interested in regardless, it's almost like a chicken-and-egg problem?
Not really. The issue is focusing on meeting someone vs focusing on living a great life yourself. If you do the former, you come off as creepy and needy. If you do the latter, developing yourself, your passions and interests, you become both confident and interesting. You will also meet people in the area of passion and interest and have a common starting point. If ALL you want is just a female, you will never succeed.
Third of all, ignore all of the women's responses. The ones I've read so far are all offended that guys are hitting on women and want them to respond. Most women will be like "why don't you just become friends with us?" It's like "yeah, none of us guys are looking for women to be friends with." They don't get that, which is why you ignore their advice on relationships.
What thread were you reading because it wasn't this one.
What I would really like more than anything else is for a woman to reciprocate being nice or kind back,
Oh Good God, not another one. Do some google searching on the Nice Guy phenomenon. And understand where your head lives that no one owes you romantic reciprocity.
Introverts are at a natural disadvantage in dating, particularly if you are also very reserved with those you finally do choose to speak with. Women want to know that you LIKE them. If you are so serious and reserved that they can't tell that then even if THEY are interested they might just shrug their shoulders and say forget it!
Unfair that men usually have to take the initiative but that's what many women are used to and what they respond to - so not only do you have to initiate you have to make it clear that you are ATTRACTED and that you are interested in DATING, not just hanging out.
If you try to "hedge your bets" by not stating that you want to actually go out rather than "hang out" then you have already doomed yourself to being in the friend pile. You have to lay it all out there and if she says no, BFD! Get over your fear of rejection - keep asking and getting rejected until you don't even care any more...it is purely a numbers game. Remember - you're in SALES - sell yourself.
Thanks to everyone who provided feedback/comments...I currently have to step away for a bit, will try to respond to some of the other posts when I have chance to get back to the thread.
Gonna have to get your feelings hurt a few times in all honesty.
Lot of people want to avoid pain as much as possible but in truth, we can't always accomplish that. You have to accept the fact that you are not going to be everyone's cup of tea and nothing is guaranteed. You're going to end up with a lot of wrongs before you get it right.
That's just the way it is.
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Using your logic above, if a person has to know someone before he can ask her out, then how does he get to know her to begin with? Especially if you don't know anyone you would be interested in regardless, it's almost like a chicken-and-egg problem?
