Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There's no nice way to say this so I'm just going to say it, desperation is a stinky cologne my friend. Women like confidence. I think you're coming off too desperate and it's turning these women off. A nice, intelligent, good looking, moderately successful man should not have this much difficulty getting a second date, something is going on here. I would think that most women would be willing to overlook your disability if your personality appealed to them so I don't think that's what's causing these women to not have an interest in you.
Maybe you should stop focusing on finding a lady for now and find something else to do that interests you. You might actually have better luck meeting someone when you take the pressure off yourself and just live your life. Just be cool, live life for awhile without expectations of finding love and maybe when you stop trying so hard the right person will come a long. Sorry that wasn't so helpful.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
In all fairness, we're told conflicting opinions on this.
Some say to start out as friends only, and some to show romantic interest right away.
Maybe the OP needs to try the friends first route. I've contemplated doing that myself, as showing romantic interest just hasn't panned out for me.
I know where the OP is coming from.
Conflicting opinions? That is putting it lightly. If we go friends first, we shouldn't be shocked when she ain't willing to take it above that. If we go romantic first, we will be accused as seeing her as a piece of meat rather than a person. Dating, !
If cold-approaching is not going to be an effective method as you have mentioned above, and if it turns out that I don't have any luck trying to meet single women by continuing to try out group-based and other meetup-style events, are there any other suggestions you might have for trying to get to know women in a group setting please? I know others have provided some helpful advice earlier on in the thread on this, but tbh I am not really that optimistic that meet-up events are going to be any better, since every time I have tried them in the past, nothing positive ever happened. That's why I ended up trying OLD, which was ultimately a disaster and which is why I have given up on it. In group settings, I find that I am usually the person no one wants to talk to, even when I try myself to engage people in conversations (I get one-word or one-sentence answers, and then people always turn their attention elsewhere, which is why group settings have been very discouraging thus far for me)
I think your best bet would be shared activities in which you see the same women over time and give them a chance to know you. Things like dance classes, volunteering, acting or improv classes, local theater productions, small group workouts like cross-fit, etc.
But I've said before that the best thing you can do is go out of town to a busy bar/club by yourself and just simply approach people. Go up to a table of girls and introduce yourself, then say that you'd like to ask them what their opinion is when it comes to you and whether you would have their interest or not. Ask them for pointers and for their perspective of what you do well and do not do well as far as presenting yourself and being social. They'll thinkk it's cute and will have fun talking to you; nobody will bite your head off. It's all about learning to be comfortable/dropping your anxiety. Practice with strangers in a location far enough from where you live, where you have a blank slate and won't worry about what you're doing, and you'll eventually feel a lot better about everything. Do this, and you'll learn a lot about yourself and see that there's nothing to fear.
If you can lose your self-doubt, just being confident and having an air of security to your demeanor will go a very long way towards attracting all kinds of people to you. That's honestly all that there is to it.
Alot of women are becoming stuck up,and man it gets tiring for US men to do all the chasing and work.
This is why I don't cold approach anyone. The best bet is to meet someone, allow them to get to know you and go from there.
About two months ago, i approached this girl to see if she wanted to work with my group for a class project. (i wasnt approaching her to date her) The look she gave me was a murderous look but she realized I was only talking about working on a project. To this day, we are good friends and I occasionally bust her balls about her looking so mean.
I guess that's why men are expected to be more successful in the workplace, careers, than women are
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
