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So this has been a sort-of recurring issue in my relationship. S/O will say something that I don't like or he'll say we can't hang out and I'll then get a bad attitude, which ends up with us getting into an argument... Obviously this is something I really need to work on.
How can I change? I really don't want my relationship to end because of something so stupid and immature on my part (I'm 23, so I obviously shouldn't be like this)
I mean, I had saw him Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday... So it's not like I hadn't seen him all week lol. I just wanted to see him yesterday. So my attitude towards him not being able to hang out was uncalled for.
Called for or uncalled for is irrelevant.
Acting like a grown-up regardless of what's going on is the point here.
I haven't done anything today since I was busy all day yesterday so I did some self-reflecting...
I think it would be best for me to take a second to collect my thoughts and don't just react based off of feelings. If he tells me that he's busy and can't hang out, I should not take offense to it and assume that I am not important to him just because he is busy doing something else. That wouldn't be fair to him since I see him several times a week and I know I am important to him. I also need to realize that giving him attitude does not help the situation at all, so controlling the attitude and not reacting on impulse would probably really cut down on the amount of arguments we have. I need to think about what I want to say before just blurting it out.
I realize all of this self-reflection probably makes me very corny lol.
[quote=lm0905;46318957]I haven't done anything today since I was busy all day yesterday so I did some self-reflecting...
I think it would be best for me to take a second to collect my thoughts and don't just react based off of feelings. If he tells me that he's busy and can't hang out, I should not take offense to it and assume that I am not important to him just because he is busy doing something else. That wouldn't be fair to him since I see him several times a week and I know I am important to him. I also need to realize that giving him attitude does not help the situation at all, so controlling the attitude and not reacting on impulse would probably really cut down on the amount of arguments we have. I need to think about what I want to say before just blurting it out.
I realize all of this self-reflection probably makes me very corny lol.[/QUOTE]
Not at all! You're growing up. It is the beginning.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
You need to realize the world does not revolve around you.
Get into the habit of understanding and being considerate of others.
Yep!
OP, you are seeing the need to change. This is good.
Remember, you can't control the wind but we can adjust our sails.
If you feel these moods or bursts are out of control it could be medical and in some cases mental.
Others have been spoiled and was always handed everything they cried about.
It's a great thing that you are open to discuss and change your bad habits. It's a first step that most people won't take.
Realize that other people owe you nothing. You are owed nothing from anyone. Whenever you feel the need to complain don't do it. Complaining is pointless and useless.
This bad habit of yours can easily drive away the best guys you will meet in your life because great guys will not hang around girls who constantly act spoiled. They have options and they will choose a girl with the same good qualities that you have, but won't make their life hard for trivial things.
I haven't done anything today since I was busy all day yesterday so I did some self-reflecting...
I think it would be best for me to take a second to collect my thoughts and don't just react based off of feelings. If he tells me that he's busy and can't hang out, I should not take offense to it and assume that I am not important to him just because he is busy doing something else. That wouldn't be fair to him since I see him several times a week and I know I am important to him. I also need to realize that giving him attitude does not help the situation at all, so controlling the attitude and not reacting on impulse would probably really cut down on the amount of arguments we have. I need to think about what I want to say before just blurting it out.
I realize all of this self-reflection probably makes me very corny lol.
No no no, not corny at all. Lose that mindset. Self awareness is essential to survive and thrive. You've realized you need to pay attention to self-care, to work on being a mentally healthy and mature adult. That is the greatest gift you can give your young self to ensure good relationships all your life.
It's great that you are aware. Now put it into practice, and I mean PRACTICE. It will take time and repetition, but I know you can do it. You will slip up, but make sure you get right back on track and keep practicing.
No no no, not corny at all. Lose that mindset. Self awareness is essential to survive and thrive. You've realized you need to pay attention to self-care, to work on being a mentally healthy and mature adult. That is the greatest gift you can give your young self to ensure good relationships all your life.
It's great that you are aware. Now put it into practice, and I mean PRACTICE. It will take time and repetition, but I know you can do it. You will slip up, but make sure you get right back on track and keep practicing.
Agreed. Next time I talk to him and see him, I'm going to let him know that this is something that I am going to be seriously working on because I know it is something that annoys the both of us.
Agreed. Next time I talk to him and see him, I'm going to let him know that this is something that I am going to be seriously working on because I know it is something that annoys the both of us.
You don't have to tell him. Just show him.
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