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Old 11-28-2016, 11:19 AM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,254,712 times
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i live with my boyfriend and i have a small group of friends who i have over once in a while (probably only a few times a year). the friends include both guys and girls. drinking is usually involved but as i've gotten older the drinking has decreased substantially. now we just get together to hang out and have a few drinks, no one really gets drunk/hammered.

anyway, my boyfriend tends to overdo the drinking whenever they come over. and he ends up being on another level than everyone else. he's not falling over drunk or anything but he just starts slurring a little bit and will maybe say things that he wouldn't normally say. i guess he "comes out of his shell". he doesn't say anything inappropriate but he might ramble on about certain things that no one is interested in. i get super embarrassed by this. the night always ends the same way - me telling him he is too drunk compared to everyone else and him saying he doesn't understand and claims that he isn't any drunker than anyone else. i feel like he has no idea how he comes across and how everyone perceives him. all i'm asking is that he cuts back once in a while when i have people over so my friends don't think he is just always drunk.

am i being unreasonable with this? i'm super self conscious of myself and always worrying about what people think so i'm not sure if i'm just super worried about what my friends will think and i should just let it go or if i have a right to be upset?
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:26 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,762 posts, read 19,968,204 times
Reputation: 43163
Meet your friends somewhere else and don't take your bf with you.
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:27 AM
 
Location: West Texas
2,366 posts, read 1,647,005 times
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Stop making excuses for your boyfriend.

Quote:
another level than everyone else. he's not falling over drunk or anything but he just starts slurring a little bit...me telling him he is too drunk compared to everyone else...so my friends don't think he is just always drunk.
He has a problem with alcohol and should seek help. Trust me, your situation is not going to get better until he can control his drinking.
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:29 AM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,254,712 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Meet your friends somewhere else and don't take your bf with you.
we do that too... i'll go out with my friends separately. it's just i like to have people over once in a while too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Horizonite View Post
Stop making excuses for your boyfriend.

He has a problem with alcohol and should seek help. Trust me, your situation is not going to get better until he can control his drinking.
the only thing is we are talking like 3-4 times a year. i think i only had my friends over like 3 times this year so far. it definitely crosses my mind but since it's so rare it's hard for me to conclude he has a drinking problem just from this. but i'm open to that as well.
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:30 AM
 
Location: louisville
4,754 posts, read 2,738,952 times
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The social drinker stops
The non social drinker doesn't...

And I'm going to rehab Wednesday
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:30 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,591 posts, read 47,660,494 times
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Since you perceive your boyfriend to be an embarrassment to you in front of your friends, why is he even your boyfriend?
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:33 AM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,254,712 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stymie13 View Post
The social drinker stops
The non social drinker doesn't...

And I'm going to rehab Wednesday
so what do i do?
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:35 AM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,725,695 times
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If you have talked to him about your embarrassment and concern, and he has done nothing to change...isn't that your answer?

I'm betting this isn't the only issue you have with him.
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:37 AM
 
1,511 posts, read 1,254,712 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
If you have talked to him about your embarrassment and concern, and he has done nothing to change...isn't that your answer?

I'm betting this isn't the only issue you have with him.
so i end it because he overdoes drinking 4 times a year?

i mean maybe that is the answer, trying to figure it out.
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Old 11-28-2016, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Central IL
20,722 posts, read 16,368,709 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bell235 View Post
so i end it because he overdoes drinking 4 times a year?

i mean maybe that is the answer, trying to figure it out.
He only "overdrinks", in your opinion, when he's with your friends? What about with his own friends or when alone with you?

Is this just a matter of you being more sensitive when with your friends or maybe that in general YOUR friends drink less than HIS friends?
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