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I ended up going on a date on Friday evening with a woman. It was a good time and we enjoyed each other's company. Went on a date with a different woman on Saturday. It was just okay. Too much drama for yo mamma for me. Spent time with the woman from Friday again on Sunday before she left to go back home. She's originally from near my area, but moved 12 years ago, because her husband at the time was transferred. She's looking to move back into the area in January, so she can be closer to her family.
Here's my dilemma. I like her company, but for some reason I just can't shake the thoughts of my last relationship. We don't talk and I don't expect us to talk, but I can't get over the feelings that I had for her. It's not a situation to where I'm biding my time for us to get back together. I think I'm just not feeling those over the moon feelings with this new lady.
Has anyone been in this type of situation before and how did your thoughts shift as you navigated the situation? She wants to see me again on Thursday and I don't have an issue with that. I think I'm just a little overwhelmed. I'm trying to close on a house and move in the meantime as well, along with the holiday season being atop us too. I'm used to always doing a lot of the pursuing and kind of trying to "win" the person over; however, now she's really elated to see me and I'm almost like this is too much too soon. However, I've done the exact same thing and I was met with a too much too soon vibe when I was the aggressor.
I think I'm just not over my feelings with my most recent ex. I think the feelings I had with her are still kind of raw, and I'm out there dating a little bit, but I just don't know what to do with this feeling of conflict. I don't think having over the moon feelings for someone is always healthy either, but I'm just not sure what to do with my feelings. Would like to hear other people's experiences to gauge if what I'm feeling is normal or not.
You are just not that into her. Just because you enjoy somebody's company doesn't mean automatically she is IT. You cannot MAKE yourself fall in love just because she is a great person.
I would keep it casual. With her or anybody else until you are over the ex.
If you're not into her you should probably stop seeing her instead of leading her on. It's not fair to her to keep going out when you're not feeling it. It really just sounds like you don't like her that much. If you did all of those excuses you listed wouldn't matter. You like what you like, you can't really help that. End it, you've only had two dates she'll get over it quickly.
Anyway, out of curiosity why is it bad that this woman is elated to see you? Would it be better if she were indifferent to seeing you or actively trying to avoid you? This is a concept I seriously don't understand. I prefer someone I'm dating to be excited to see me.
If you're not into her you should probably stop seeing her instead of leading her on. It's not fair to her to keep going out when you're not feeling it. It really just sounds like you don't like her that much. If you did all of those excuses you listed wouldn't matter. You like what you like, you can't really help that. End it, you've only had two dates she'll get over it quickly.
Anyway, out of curiosity why is it bad that this woman is elated to see you? Would it be better if she were indifferent to seeing you or actively trying to avoid you? This is a concept I seriously don't understand. I prefer someone I'm dating to be excited to see me.
Never stated that there was anything wrong with her being elated. I just opted to say that I'm not as equally elated. I feel a bit overwhelmed.
I've been in that situation but after a long-term relationship. I started dating a girl too soon; she was sweet and pretty and she really liked me. I had to end it so I didn't lead her on, I could tell she was getting hooked.
Never stated that there was anything wrong with her being elated. I just opted to say that I'm not as equally elated. I feel a bit overwhelmed.
Sounds m ore like underwhelmed. Navigating a new prospect sounds like something an insurance agent would do, not someone looking for companionship. It dehumanizes the other person and makes them sound like a barrier to be overcome or avoided.
It's only been 2 dates and you said you had a good time. Why not give it another shot and see how your feelings develop? It's not fair to lead someone on, but it's not like it's been months and you're not feeling it. And you're not even certain that you're not feeling it.
It's only been 2 dates and you said you had a good time. Why not give it another shot and see how your feelings develop? It's not fair to lead someone on, but it's not like it's been months and you're not feeling it. And you're not even certain that you're not feeling it.
This is what I was thinking as well. I think I'm overwhelmed from my current house purchase. Have a lot of stuff I'm trying to get done before Christmas morning and I don't even close till December 14th. Then, on top of that, I'm trying to deal with these stupid feelings about my recent ex too. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone and I think this current situation just needs more seasoning. I think getting into 2017 will give me some time to take a breath.
She's already told me she doesn't care about any types of titles or any of that. Just wants to get to know someone that she enjoys being around.
Just tell her what you told us, you have a lot going on with closing, moving, and the holidays. You would like to stay in touch while you sort that stuff out by texting and calling every so often. Regroup after Christmas and ask her out.
Never stated that there was anything wrong with her being elated. I just opted to say that I'm not as equally elated. I feel a bit overwhelmed.
Maybe I misunderstood you, I thought you were saying that the fact that she was elated to see you and you didn't have to win her over made you less interested in her. I still think if you were really into her all these things going on in your life wouldn't keep you from being excited to see her. I get that you have some stressful things happening but it doesn't sound like anything too crazy. Everyone has stuff that they're dealing with but if you're really into a person you should be happy to see them.
You just met her too. Maybe you're expecting too much from yourself. You've only had two dates with her so you're not expected to be in love yet. I still think if you're not feeling it it's better to end it sooner rather than later but you could always give it another date or two to see if your feelings change. I wouldn't let it go on any further than that though if they don't.
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