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For the last few weeks I've been looking at profiles of men on POF and I've seen a few men that look interesting so this evening I worked up the nerve to create my own profile but for some reason I can't seem to bring myself to complete it. I'm especially nervous about putting a picture of myself out there for the world to see. I keep thinking that someone I know is going to come across it and think I'm desperate and pathetic for looking for dates on the internet. I feel embarrassed by the whole thing really.
I know logically a lot of people date this way now and it's pretty normal but part of me feels like a loser for not being able to meet someone the old-fashioned way. It's hard though, I'm a busy single mom and I don't have a lot of time to go out.
I'm also worried that I'm not going to get very many replies or that once they see me in person they will be disappointed. If you meet someone at a bar or a grocery store you know up front what the other person really looks like. I'm not bad looking but we all look different in person.
Anyone else feel this way about online dating and did you go through with it anyway? Did anyone you know ever see your profile somewhere and call you out on it? Did you care? Did most dates go pleasantly enough? Help I'm new to dating!!
My friends made a few jokes telling me try online dating and are immediately met with responses like, "She's not ugly," and "Only desperate people do that." I have no clue where those stereotypes come from. I don't know why there is such a stigma with online dating, especially since social media is so popular. I think some people only pay attention to the horror stories or are only used to meeting people IRL.
I'm not particularly interested in online dating myself for my own personal reasons, but I don't really see a problem with those who choose to use it. That's their choice and their life. They aren't hurting me.
It's not so bad, but be prepared to be contacted a lot and to contact people who won't respond to you.
Also for people who aren't really all that serious about meeting in person, but appear to be.
Then there is the obvious stuff, like screen people carefully, only meet in public, don't even give anyone your last name until after several dates and you're 100% comfortable.
I'm a 43 y/o male who has used OLD off and on over the past few years... now have a good friend who I met on there and we may be heading for serious relationship.
My friends made a few jokes telling me try online dating and are immediately met with responses like, "She's not ugly," and "Only desperate people do that." I have no clue where those stereotypes come from. I don't know why there is such a stigma with online dating, especially since social media is so popular. I think some people only pay attention to the horror stories or are only used to meeting people IRL.
I'm not particularly interested in online dating myself for my own personal reasons, but I don't really see a problem with it for those who choose to use it. That's their choice and their life. They aren't hurting me.
I don't really see a lot of those responses nowadays. That may have been the case like 15-20 years ago or so, but online dating (apps or sites) is pretty mainstream now.
No reason to be embarrassed about it whatsoever. A lot of people actually freely mention that they use online dating apps like Tinder, and nobody really bats an eye about it from my experience. Plenty of loving couples have met via OLD (or some form of it).
For some, OLD just works better. For me, while I've never been in a relationship, I've at least gone out on dates from OLD (and planning another one with a new girl either tomorrow or Friday).
All my dates have been from OLD. Never once has a date occurred via IRL (I really don't know what it is, but I can't seem to generate enough onset attraction IRL apparently). I can get phone numbers in IRL, but they never seem to really progress past that.
I'll admit, I was a bit jaded about OLD. In the days before the OLD sites, people actually met through internet chatrooms, like AOL. I actually met a woman this way, some years ago.
I hate bars and clubs - I don't think they're feasible to meet people. Believe it or not, a former friend with benefits (she's still my friend, the benefits ended some time ago) actually dragged me, literally kicking and screaming, into OLD after my divorce. I've been on several dates, had a couple brief relationships.
The down side of OLD is that you'll encounter flaky people, people who ghost on you after one date, and those with baggage and drama. OP, you're a female, so statistically speaking, you'll get a lot of messages from guys. Moreso than vice versa, because guys traditionally don't get messages (initially) from women.
I'll admit, I was a bit jaded about OLD. In the days before the OLD sites, people actually met through internet chatrooms, like AOL. I actually met a woman this way, some years ago.
I hate bars and clubs - I don't think they're feasible to meet people. Believe it or not, a former friend with benefits (she's still my friend, the benefits ended some time ago) actually dragged me, literally kicking and screaming, into OLD after my divorce. I've been on several dates, had a couple brief relationships.
The down side of OLD is that you'll encounter flaky people, people who ghost on you after one date, and those with baggage and drama. OP, you're a female, so statistically speaking, you'll get a lot of messages from guys. Moreso than vice versa, because guys traditionally don't get messages (initially) from women.
Play it safe, and Good luck!
You can easily encounter those people IRL as well, though.
However, I will say that I have experienced women ghosting on me after one date via OLD multiple times.
For the last few weeks I've been looking at profiles of men on POF and I've seen a few men that look interesting so this evening I worked up the nerve to create my own profile but for some reason I can't seem to bring myself to complete it. I'm especially nervous about putting a picture of myself out there for the world to see. I keep thinking that someone I know is going to come across it and think I'm desperate and pathetic for looking for dates on the internet. I feel embarrassed by the whole thing really.
I know logically a lot of people date this way now and it's pretty normal but part of me feels like a loser for not being able to meet someone the old-fashioned way. It's hard though, I'm a busy single mom and I don't have a lot of time to go out.
I'm also worried that I'm not going to get very many replies or that once they see me in person they will be disappointed. If you meet someone at a bar or a grocery store you know up front what the other person really looks like. I'm not bad looking but we all look different in person.
Anyone else feel this way about online dating and did you go through with it anyway? Did anyone you know ever see your profile somewhere and call you out on it? Did you care? Did most dates go pleasantly enough? Help I'm new to dating!!
There's nothing wrong with online dating. If you didn't marry your first boyfriend in high school and if you weren't looking for a husband in college, where the hell are you supposed to meet someone? I met my third husband online but it took years. You better hop to it!
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