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A lot of men, in my experience, were not receptive to honest and straightforward approaches. I've said "I'm not interested" or similar variations only to be met with verbal lashings, or having to block men who didn't want to accept that I wasn't interested. Because some will inherently internalize "I'm not interested" or "We're not a good match" as a slight against them and get super defensive and aggressive.
Either way, no matter how it's said, it's a rejection, and many people don't take kindly to it no matter how neatly it's packaged.
It is specifically this type of hostility, paired with the regular stories in the news about the ex husband or ex boyfriend who hunted down and killed the woman because she didn't want to be with him, oftentimes slaughtering her children too - that turns me off from dating altogether. And yeah, a lot of men in this country are damaged goods and the worst part is they have no idea and if you tell them, they think YOU are the problem.
Where does all this hostility, this rage against women in general, stem from? Anyone have a theory about this?
the problem is that some guys can't handle being told "no". They keep pestering you and asking you "why not"? And if you answer that, they get offended and call you stuck up or a b--ch or some other offensive noun. If you have an IG account, check out ByeFelipe. We can't win. Some of you have tissue-paper-thin egos.
And it's those guys who are NOT real men. They are immature, needy crybabies! Sorry, but if a woman tells me she's not feeling the flow, I say, "Seeya!" Yeah, it'll hurt, but if you don't want to be with me, then let's part company and you go your way, I go my way.
It is specifically this type of hostility, paired with the regular stories in the news about the ex husband or ex boyfriend who hunted down and killed the woman because she didn't want to be with him, oftentimes slaughtering her children too - that turns me off from dating altogether. And yeah, a lot of men in this country are damaged goods and the worst part is they have no idea and if you tell them, they think YOU are the problem.
Where does all this hostility, this rage against women in general, stem from? Anyone have a theory about this?
yes yes yes, all this.
And FTR, EVERYONE has baggage/issues. If you are alive and have interacted with at least one person in your lifetime, you have baggage.
It is specifically this type of hostility, paired with the regular stories in the news about the ex husband or ex boyfriend who hunted down and killed the woman because she didn't want to be with him, oftentimes slaughtering her children too - that turns me off from dating altogether. And yeah, a lot of men in this country are damaged goods and the worst part is they have no idea and if you tell them, they think YOU are the problem.
Where does all this hostility, this rage against women in general, stem from? Anyone have a theory about this?
I don't think it's really all that universal. How many men do you know personally who killed women? Or even know of second-hand through a friend? These things make the news because they're horrors, not because they're common. They're very UNcommon.
However, just being barked at by someone larger than you is seriously intimidating and does give a woman pause the next time. This is so unfair to guys who would never intimidate a woman, but once that fear is there it's hard to shake. It's a terrible feeling, and it's scary. And yes, it may be partially based on horror news stories, but it's also based on practicality. Here he is. He's all but a stranger to me. He's taller. He's bulkier. He's standing over me, yelling. Yeah, that's scary. It's going to be in there subconsciously for the next guy, even if that guy would never harm a fly. Sad but true.
Where does such rage come from - inability to control and repeated frustrations coupled with mental illness, I'd imagine. I'm not sure.
And it's those guys who are NOT real men. They are immature, needy crybabies! Sorry, but if a woman tells me she's not feeling the flow, I say, "Seeya!" Yeah, it'll hurt, but if you don't want to be with me, then let's part company and you go your way, I go my way.
the dating world is overrun with boys - especially in the late 20s/early 30s set.
I don't think it's really all that universal. How many men do you know personally who killed women? Or even know of second-hand through a friend? These things make the news because they're horrors, not because they're common. They're very UNcommon.
However, just being barked at by someone larger than you is seriously intimidating and does give a woman pause the next time. This is so unfair to guys who would never intimidate a woman, but once that fear is there it's hard to shake. It's a terrible feeling, and it's scary. And yes, it may be partially based on horror news stories, but it's also based on practicality. Here he is. He's all but a stranger to me. He's taller. He's bulkier. He's standing over me, yelling. Yeah, that's scary. It's going to be in there subconsciously for the next guy, even if that guy would never harm a fly. Sad but true.
Where does such rage come from - inability to control and repeated frustrations coupled with mental illness, I'd imagine. I'm not sure.
I suspect part of it comes from never being told "no". My generation was the first to start giving participation trophies and the like. Everything is a huge accomplishment, everyone is a special little snowflake that's perfect in every way, and everyone deserves to have what they want. People just got soft and now don't know how to handle the fact that they aren't as great as they think they are. With the creation of social media, we are also losing the art of meaningful face-to-face interaction.
I don't think it's really all that universal. How many men do you know personally who killed women? Or even know of second-hand through a friend? These things make the news because they're horrors, not because they're common. They're very UNcommon.
However, just being barked at by someone larger than you is seriously intimidating and does give a woman pause the next time. This is so unfair to guys who would never intimidate a woman, but once that fear is there it's hard to shake. It's a terrible feeling, and it's scary. And yes, it may be partially based on horror news stories, but it's also based on practicality. Here he is. He's all but a stranger to me. He's taller. He's bulkier. He's standing over me, yelling. Yeah, that's scary. It's going to be in there subconsciously for the next guy, even if that guy would never harm a fly. Sad but true.
Where does such rage come from - inability to control and repeated frustrations coupled with mental illness, I'd imagine. I'm not sure.
If it helps, I've learned over time that most people like that are full of hot air. If you remain cool and calm (I'm generally poker faced) they run out of steam pretty quickly because you aren't feeding that rage.
I also think people like that get intimidated back if you seem unfazed by them. They feed off the fear and it gives them confidence to bully, but when faced with indifference they lose that confidence and slink away. Much the same way you shouldn't run from a predator, but not advance either. Of course I am pretty good a self defense, so that helps me a lot to remain calm and cool when confronted. While they are yelling I'm calculating ways to incapacitate if need be. So even though it's easy for me, I can see where it wouldn't be for some. I just hope that the knowledge that most bullies are full of hot air takes the edge off that fear.
And it's those guys who are NOT real men. They are immature, needy crybabies! Sorry, but if a woman tells me she's not feeling the flow, I say, "Seeya!" Yeah, it'll hurt, but if you don't want to be with me, then let's part company and you go your way, I go my way.
I'm the same way. I'm not going to try and convince someone to want me. The people who **** me off are the ones who string you along when they're not feeling it and mKe you play guessing games. Ghosting And blocking someone will do them a much better service
I'm the same way. I'm not going to try and convince someone to want me. The people who **** me off are the ones who string you along when they're not feeling it and mKe you play guessing games. Ghosting And blocking someone will do them a much better service
I've seen this said so many times. Why is this necessarily the case each time things don't work out the way a person wants? What if the other person was getting closer to you to see if she was going to "feel it" and to want to go forward...then after getting to know you a bit, decided..."no, not for me"? Why would that be a "game"? She's not psychic. She doesn't know whether she likes you unless she knows you. She doesn't know you until she has spoken to and spent at least a bit of time with you. You see?
I've seen this said so many times. Why is this necessarily the case each time things don't work out the way a person wants? What if the other person was getting closer to you to see if she was going to "feel it" and to want to go forward...then after getting to know you a bit, decided..."no, not for me"? Why would that be a "game"? She's not psychic. She doesn't know whether she likes you unless she knows you. She doesn't know you until she has spoken to and spent at least a bit of time with you. You see?
You're interpreting my words wrong. All of that is fine and dandy. But when you come to the point you decide we are not a match, SAY IT. Don't respond with vague texts, disappear for days, string people along etc
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She doesn't know you until she has spoken to and spent at least a bit of time with you. You see?
