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My OLD experience is most women on dating sites are pathetic, desperate, crazy, creepy, or just trolling for sex. OLD sucks.
Yeah, but that would be a good thing for a lot of guys!
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I read his profile a couple times. It really resonated with me. I was intrigued from the start.
Part of his response: (he was absolutely convinced I wasn't real and that someone was pranking him. We were a 96% match when we first exchanged messages. It was bumped to 99% after answering a couple hundred more.)
Quote:
So, how do I even start this???? I'm not exactly sure... To tell you the truth I'm a bit weirded out by you. I want to make it clear that it is definitely not in a bad way, I just don't think I've ever read a personality profile that resonated with me like yours (love the music BTW, you'll have to tell me how you embedded the links), then to go to the question section of your profile... over 1000 questions answered in common, and still a 96% match?!?!? I don't know what to say...
I think one of the key aspects of a good profile is writing to your strengths and choosing a target audience. My goal was never to cast a wide net and lure just any/all men. I made it a point to share a bit of who I am and what I'm about without resorting to cliches and contrived messages. Figure out who your type really is (this takes some introspection) and what you really want (beyond the basics and cliche stuff). Really do some soul-searching. If you have a certain type you can find ways to attract this type. Are there things you like, or an aspect of your personality, worldview, etc., that you seek in a partner? Is there something about you or your personality/worldview that you want others to know about you from the get-go? The more detail you give the better others can assess you. You may be able to draw more attention if you put effort into attracting the type you're most compatible with. Humor, wit, sincerity, and good writing skills are often well-received.
My OLD experience is most men on dating sites are pathetic, desperate, crazy, creepy, or just trolling for sex. OLD sucks.
And alot of women I've dealt with on OLD have been dishonest and judgmental. This is coming from a man who wasn't there trolling for sex, who isn't creepy or crazy.
This, exactly. Messages worded like this are from scammers. Or creeps.
1. I HATE "Beautiful" or "Dear" as salutations from strangers. OP, I've told you before to stop addressing women as "dear," and you've heard it in this thread from several women now. It is not flattering when coming from a stranger - instead, it comes off as patronizing.
2. What's with all the compliments on women's names? It's odd.
3. Do not compliment a woman on how beautiful her daughter is, or inquire about kid specifics (aside from the fact they have them) in these first messages. Some men target single moms so they can prey on their kids. This is why it creeps me out when men or women put pics of their kids up on dating sites.
4. These messages you're exchanging are completely devoid of any meaningful content. You haven't established any connection or commonality with these women, then you throw your phone number at them and tell them to text you. You haven't given them any reason to continue the conversation.
5. Are you a native English speaker? If so, you need to work on your grammar and spelling. If not, you might want to mention that when you're getting to know some of these women, just because it's likely most women will mistake you for a scammer from Nigeria. This is literally exactly what those guys sound like in their messages.
I was raised to always give compliments to a woman you like or are friends with. My female friends are treated this way and have said that they have felt like my girlfriend without the perk. Yes English is my primary language and I am good at it however when you are typing fast and thinking about things to say, sometimes spell and grammatical errors will occur.
My OLD experience is most women on dating sites are pathetic, desperate, crazy, creepy, or just trolling for sex. OLD sucks.
lol I don't think she's gonna like that you reverse the tables lol but it's good you did that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
Yeah, but that would be a good thing for a lot of guys!
Yes it would sadly, I would probably enjoy OLD much more but it's obviously the complete opposite.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Metaphysique
OP, this was my first message to my husband:
I read his profile a couple times. It really resonated with me. I was intrigued from the start.
Part of his response: (he was absolutely convinced I wasn't real and that someone was pranking him. We were a 96% match when we first exchanged messages. It was bumped to 99% after answering a couple hundred more.)
I think one of the key aspects of a good profile is writing to your strengths and choosing a target audience. My goal was never to cast a wide net and lure just any/all men. I made it a point to share a bit of who I am and what I'm about without resorting to cliches and contrived messages. Figure out who your type really is (this takes some introspection) and what you really want (beyond the basics and cliche stuff). Really do some soul-searching. If you have a certain type you can find ways to attract this type. Are there things you like, or an aspect of your personality, worldview, etc., that you seek in a partner? Is there something about you or your personality/worldview that you want others to know about you from the get-go? The more detail you give the better others can assess you. You may be able to draw more attention if you put effort into attracting the type you're most compatible with. Humor, wit, sincerity, and good writing skills are often well-received.
Wow this is reminding me of my ex, we had a 95% match and were extremely compatible until everything fell apart. The only issue I saw is that regardless of you trying to find your match... multiple men would be sending you messages and this would be a long weed out process while the right person may never message you or even see your profile. In my case your method works well because rarely in comparison do women message men on OLD sites. Very few women like yourself and my ex have started the conversation. She sent her ex that she refused to leave out of her life the 1st message and he didn't believe she was real. Then they met up and he knew she was the real deal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner
And alot of women I've dealt with on OLD have been dishonest and judgmental. This is coming from a man who wasn't there trolling for sex, who isn't creepy or crazy.
Yeah bro well I have stories to tell for days lol but I'm still hoping.
I was raised to always give compliments to a woman you like or are friends with. My female friends are treated this way and have said that they have felt like my girlfriend without the perk. Yes English is my primary language and I am good at it however when you are typing fast and thinking about things to say, sometimes spell and grammatical errors will occur.
One compliment is plenty for a stranger at first - make no mistake, these women are strangers - and it would be better if it was related to the content of her profile, not her appearance. Women are used to getting compliments on our appearance; it's generic, can come off as sleazy, or at least give her the wrong impression of what you're looking for. That's what struck me about your attempts at "conversations" with these women - you really didn't give them any indication you read and thought about what they said in their profiles.
Your style of writing is very...flowery. It reminds me of how non-native English speakers write. Lots of dramatic adjectives and poor grammar. How you write on these websites DOES matter; at least, it matters to educated women. You should take the time to write more clearly, and with an emphasis on interesting and genuine content as opposed to charm.
Also, if you're going to quote Vin Diesel (which is weird!), you should at least spell his name right.
ETA: you probably shouldn't be dating right now. You talk nonstop about your ex and how compatible you two were, when your past posts indicate you most definitely were not. It was also not a healthy or normal relationship at all. It seems to have been filled with lies, power struggles and manipulation on both sides - not to mention some abusive and controlling behavior on your part that I never would have put up with - so you might want to stop lifting that woman/relationship up as the Holy Grail.
One compliment is plenty for a stranger at first - make no mistake, these women are strangers - and it would be better if it was related to the content of her profile, not her appearance. Women are used to getting compliments on our appearance; it's generic, can come off as sleazy, or at least give her the wrong impression of what you're looking for. That's what struck me about your attempts at "conversations" with these women - you really didn't give them any indication you read and thought about what they said in their profiles.
Your style of writing is very...flowery. It reminds me of how non-native English speakers write. Lots of dramatic adjectives and poor grammar. How you write on these websites DOES matter; at least, it matters to educated women. You should take the time to write more clearly, and with an emphasis on interesting and genuine content as opposed to charm.
Also, if you're going to quote Vin Diesel (which is weird!), you should at least spell his name right.
ETA: you probably shouldn't be dating right now. You talk nonstop about your ex and how compatible you two were, when your past posts indicate you most definitely were not. It was also not a healthy or normal relationship at all. It seems to have been filled with lies, power struggles and manipulation on both sides - not to mention some abusive and controlling behavior on your part that I never would have put up with - so you might want to stop lifting that woman/relationship up as the Holy Grail.
My writing is based on the profiles I read and I make sure to thoroughly read each and every woman's interest before writing so I can assure you it's not generic. Thank you for your opinion.
OLD is such a game now. You can't just be yourself in your profile because its not "interesting" enough. I'm speaking as a man. All women need to do is put up some nice pictures and not say anything in their profile. I've had to get creative, and that doesn't even really work. OLD is so mainstream now that it's almost impossible to separate yourself from the pack.
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