My online dating experience (ladies, cheating, pregnant, sexy)
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It does race actually plays a big role, if you are a black or white male on OK cupid you have a bigger success rate according to the research study of the owner of OK cupid. Now many things play a role since women are different and just like many have said here, things such as hands, nice smile, nice hair, eye color, etc. are things they look at when deciding on talking with a person. Now you have others that may want your communication to be very formal and expect good grammar. All these things are taken to account but I will say this some women are bold and will put on their profile "Only white males" or only tall men "6,0" or higher. These are common and it does discriminate however they are entitled to what they like.
I've read the article from OKCupid. White males get the most responses when they send messages. What you have said is half right. Black males, however, don't do that well. Black males have among the least amount of responses when they send messages. Only South Asian men did worse. In fact, White males got a higher reply rate from Black females than Black males did. White males got a reply rate of 38% from Black females while Black males got a reply rate of 28% from Black females.
I've come across profiles that said "no short men" or "no Black men". While said women might be entitled to it, it does show that race and height can play big roles.
I always communicated with good grammar. I try to use some icebreaker, citing something that me and the other person could relate to, or just to say hello. In OLD, it didn't really work all that well.
The thing is, I don't know what constitutes nice hair, nice smile, etc to any woman. No two women are the same. What one woman likes, another doesn't.
I've read the article from OKCupid. White males get the most responses when they send messages. What you have said is half right. Black males, however, don't do that well. Black males have among the least amount of responses when they send messages. Only South Asian men did worse. In fact, White males got a higher reply rate from Black females than Black males did. White males got a reply rate of 38% from Black females while Black males got a reply rate of 28% from Black females.
I've come across profiles that said "no short men" or "no Black men". While said women might be entitled to it, it does show that race and height can play big roles.
I always communicated with good grammar. I try to use some icebreaker, citing something that me and the other person could relate to, or just to say hello. In OLD, it didn't really work all that well.
The thing is, I don't know what constitutes nice hair, nice smile, etc to any woman. No two women are the same. What one woman likes, another doesn't.
How recent was that study done? because in the years of 2013-2014 black men were doing exceptionally well with white males dominating. I believe personally it's due conditioning why white people are seen as better candidates then all other races. I also think that women who are after financial gain believe white men are ideal for providing but again this is my own personal observation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by green_mariner
In some cases, in person is easier than online.
In person is always bro unless you are down right nervous to the extent of not approaching or capable of keeping a conversation going. I know I am attractive and I have hard times being seen by women on OLD sites. Again 1-10 women respond and 1-3 that do I end up hitting it off with them but my success rate in terms of dating has been 3 in my entire 3 years of doing it. I married 1 out of the 3 so it wasn't too bad but not even close to women less attractive than me physically. Women and men are not equal in online dating, far from it lol
wait, wait I can't follow everything that's happening in the thread, and it is difficult to read your posted pics of the OKCupid chats, but summarize it for me:
Do you have the back-n-forth chit chat,
then you go for the phone number exchange ~
and it falls down flat, crickets, no further talk? DOES NOT PROGRESS TO COFFEE DATE IN REAL LIFE?
Then that matches my same OKCupid experience in about 90% of cases.
Have you ever been a woman on OLD? I always find it strange when people tell others how their life is.
You should be your best self. If you find you are not interesting enough that is something you should think about. If you like it that way, then don't change. How do you even know that the women went after more interesting guys? Maybe they are with the "Netflix and chill" guy.
Millions are dating. The good looking, the lazy, the poor, the boring, etc.
I think I'm interesting, but women like to hear stories. I'm not a good storyteller. I mean, just listing all I've done in the past year such as improv classes, Salsa classes, guitar classes, traveling to South America, etc. doesn't get it done. I think those things are interesting, but I don't know how to present all of it properly I guess. It didn't used to be this hard is what I'm saying. So if OLD doesn't work, I'm kind of sunk because I don't just approach people in the streets or in bars or the gym. Whats a guy to do?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
I think I'm interesting, but women like to hear stories. I'm not a good storyteller. I mean, just listing all I've done in the past year such as improv classes, Salsa classes, guitar classes, traveling to South America, etc. doesn't get it done. I think those things are interesting, but I don't know how to present all of it properly I guess. It didn't used to be this hard is what I'm saying. So if OLD doesn't work, I'm kind of sunk because I don't just approach people in the streets or in bars or the gym. Whats a guy to do?
Meet people through shared activities.
But no matter what, talking to people and telling stories is critical. Being excited by something is cool, being able to convey that excitement to people that don't share the passion is very cool (and attractive).
But no matter what, talking to people and telling stories is critical. Being excited by something is cool, being able to convey that excitement to people that don't share the passion is very cool (and attractive).
So back to square one. I'm not a natural storyteller, nor am I comfortable talking to random people I haven't met before, or at least initiating the conversation.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,925,282 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
So back to square one. I'm not a natural storyteller, nor am I comfortable talking to random people I haven't met before, or at least initiating the conversation.
No, not back to square one. I said shared activities.
You have four major ways:
1) online dating
2) random/cold approaches
3) shared activities
4) social group meeting (being set up by someone/friends of friends)
So, you have four general ways of meeting someone to connect with. You have to make one work. Your call.
And just because you aren't a natural storyteller that doesn't mean you can't become decent at it. Just like public speaking, it is something that can be worked on and improved. You also don't have to be comfortable talking to someone you don't know to be decent at it. Those are two separate things. Comfort zones are your enemy.
I think I'm interesting, but women like to hear stories. I'm not a good storyteller. I mean, just listing all I've done in the past year such as improv classes, Salsa classes, guitar classes, traveling to South America, etc. doesn't get it done. I think those things are interesting, but I don't know how to present all of it properly I guess. It didn't used to be this hard is what I'm saying. So if OLD doesn't work, I'm kind of sunk because I don't just approach people in the streets or in bars or the gym. Whats a guy to do?
I'm not a real good storyteller either I sort of have the same problem...partially because I'm too honest. Most guys that are big bull####ers and storytellers exaggerate things or even lie to spice up stories. Two of my best friends are like that...I know when they start telling a story it's time to get out the shovel. Women are traditionally attracted to that type of guy it's the salesmen personality.
What you do is just tell short stories instead of being one of those guys that tells really long, extremely detailed stories that takes like 10 minutes. Another trick is to use pictures of the things you've done or places you've been and have them on your phone. Also you can still be funny and fun without telling long stories.
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