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You have to socialize in order to meet people. Activity groups, clubs, volunteering, yoga, farmers markets, spiritual gatherings, etc., are all good ways to meet people.
I'm your age and if I were single again, I'd start going out with small groups of my friends to movies, art openings, lectures, continuing Ed, and festivals, in addition to those I listed above. I'd probably meet several people to date before too long, if I even wanted to. You have to put yourself out there and be friendly. Staying at home won't cut it.
Are there men interested...yes, but definitely less than when you were younger and they wont hit on you nowhere near as much. What men find sexy doesn't really change a great deal as they get older. While you might not care about sexy now, plenty of men still want that physical desire to inspire them to passionately pursue the woman. I feel what you see in people's profile in online dating is really what they want. A lot of 50 yr old men will want to date a younger woman. "We men feel as young as the woman we are feeling" is true for many men.
No it doesn't mean they are chasing the hotties or want a woman in her 20s, but if they can date the 10 yr younger version of you, I'd say the majority would definitely prefer that. The appeal with younger women is not just about looks, but also attitude and their more fun loving nature and femininity. For middle age people still dating, its definitely going to help your appeal if you dont act old. Not going out, not challenging yourself or keeping up on contemporary culture or not dressing stylish anymore, and not having a happy positive outlook/fun vibe will just compound an older person's lower sex appeal. (no offense meant). Even though it takes more effort when you get older, the advice you got here on getting out socially more is spot on.
Last edited by clevercuts; 12-08-2016 at 09:13 PM..
wel.... Im close to 50 and my love is 4 years younger, he was someone I knew as a youngster and reached out to me via social media, randomly one day, and I answered him back, casual chat and then long phone calls, and the rest is history...
I guess my advice for the OP, is the one I gave myself -I had had a significant loss and after I was done mourning I picked myself up and told myself that life wasn't to be wasted. It is precious, and I was going to try new things, and be open to the universe- and that included responding to this overture, to looking up an old college buddy (female) to go out to events with, and just do different things...
Yes Clevercuts, clothes can definitely age a person too. And posture.
Yes & yes. I mentioned staying stylish because a number of women I know or work with imo dont do themselves any justice in that regard. They have put on weight and to help hide or distract from their body, they wear baggy clothes, and often plain style or dark colors (the theory being dark colors make you look slimmer). The short haircut + the chunky body + the unflattering, unstylish outfits just give them a frumpy look. I realize it requires more effort to stay feminine or masculine (for a male) looking when you get older, but it pays off in terms of boosting your sex appeal and giving you an advantage over your middle aged competition.
I notice a lot of people, I guess when they get to mid 40s, don't worry about fashion anymore or buying many new clothes. Maybe it is harder to find stuff to like because the focus on the fashion industry is for youth & fit figures. More subtle in terms of sex appeal but still picked up on subconsciously is posture and the way the person carries themselves. Health and I guess a positive outlook will play a big part in that. I know a few older women that say they are sick of still having to go to effort to make themselves more attractive for men. I get it but the reality is if you still looking to attract the opposite sex then you need to make the effort (should still happen even in a relationship imo)
Yes & yes. I mentioned staying stylish because a number of women I know or work with imo dont do themselves any justice in that regard. They have put on weight and to help hide or distract from their body, they wear baggy clothes, and often plain style or dark colors (the theory being dark colors make you look slimmer). The short haircut + the chunky body + the unflattering, unstylish outfits just give them a bit of a frumpy look. I realize it requires more effort to stay feminine or masculine looking when you get older, but it pays off in terms of boosting your sex appeal and giving you an advantage over your middle aged competition.
I notice a lot of people, I guess when they get to mid 40s, don't worry about fashion anymore or buying many new clothes. Maybe it is harder to find stuff to like because the focus on the fashion industry is for youth & fit figures. More subtle in terms of sex appeal but still picked up on subconsciously is posture and the way the person carries themselves. Health and I guess a positive outlook will play a big part in that. I know a few older women that say they are sick of still having to go to effort to make themselves more attractive for men. I get it but the reality is if you still looking to attract the opposite sex then you need to make the effort (should still happen even in a relationship imo)
Change that to: "a lot of men when they get into their 40's...don't worry about fashion or whatever" and we'll have a fair example of what women also find, sheesh your answers here are so one-sided.
I don't reply to most 'older men' who message me, or make the first move to message them, as they are exactly as you describe older women in appearance and add: Too serious, letting everyone know they are looking for something serious, explaining everything they will NOT deal with. No fun.
Change that to: "a lot of men when they get into their 40's...don't worry about fashion or whatever" and we'll have a fair example of what women also find, sheesh your answers here are so one-sided.
I don't reply to most 'older men' who message me, or make the first move to message them, as they are exactly as you describe older women in appearance and add: Too serious, letting everyone know they are looking for something serious, explaining everything they will NOT deal with. No fun.
It works both ways.
Since the OP is female, the focus on my response was about women since that would be more relevant for her. In my reply I also referred to feminine & masculine in one section. Yes definitely men I guess you could say early 40s up are also lousy when it comes to style & contemporary fashion....even more so than women (style and attitude). That will definitely impact on the number of middle aged men she might be attracted to, but the appeal will need to go both ways, and they need to cross paths and get a chance to interact.
From what I see, men want younger women no matter what their age. For a woman in her 50s I'd need to find a man in his 60s or 70s. Why don't men want women their age? I guess maybe because they CAN get younger women without any problem.
I'd love to hear stories of women over 50 (or even over 40) finding love with a man their age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiethegreat
Men do not want women their age I'm on okcupid,most men my age (37) have listed 21-40 or something like that as their preference so decades younger but only a few years older.
My wife was 48 and I was 50 when I asked her out for the first time and we ultimately married. I guess SOME men like women their own ages.
Well, most men look like crap over 50 in my opinion. I get asked out a lot by younger men and I am (all of a sudden) 45! I dress nice. I exercise and take care of myself and my son first. That confidence attracts people. Wh settle for less than what you want?!
You don't need to drink. You have to gt out there and quite making excuses for lack of dates.
Men are visual and so am I...I also like to look and feel my best because it gives me a whimsical young attitude which is infectious.
Of course my son if first so I always so no...that is competition and men love that. Work it!!!!
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