Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm usually a calm and empathetic guy. I've done a lot for her and I try to be understanding but I just cannot understand her when she's being irrational. She brings this side out of me, and then uses it to deflect everything on me, making me out to be the bad guy when she is the one who has driven me to this point.
Does she actually realise she's taking her insecurities out on you? And when she does what do you do straight away? ( agree, sympathetic, argue, lose temper etc etc )...... If you are straight off on the defensive and come out fighting then maybe that adds fuel to it?
I've been in your position with an ex so I can understand your frustration mate but reacting like that is not the answer, personally if you're this unhappy and you've talked about it and the problem persists then I'd break up as I can't see what else there is to do.
I'm usually a calm and empathetic guy. I've done a lot for her and I try to be understanding but I just cannot understand her when she's being irrational. She brings this side out of me, and then uses it to deflect everything on me, making me out to be the bad guy when she is the one who has driven me to this point.
Ah, so it's her fault that you're punching walls.
You might also want to look into the concept of personal responsibility.
It makes me so mad that she can see the effect her actions are having on me, every time, but she still pulls this **** like twice a month. She will get anxious about my porn habits, compare herself to ex-gfs or old crushes, and get testy when I bring up any woman in my life that she knows I am physically attracted to. It drives me ****ing nuts to have someone try to tell me how I feel, and it's not fair of her to do this to me when she knows how much it upsets me. I've almost broken up with her several times over this, but I keep coming back because I love her. But I am so exhausted. Should I save myself and end this now?
You tell her whom (else) you are physically attracted to and wonder why she gets upset?
I think most girls her age wouldn't like that and many woman who are more mature aren't too thrilled about that either.
From what you've said, I wouldn't list "empathy" as one of your better traits. For that matter, neither is "calm". Your drywell can tell you ALL about that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jflowman
I've done a lot for her and I try to be understanding but I just cannot understand her when she's being irrational. She brings this side out of me, and then uses it to deflect everything on me, making me out to be the bad guy when she is the one who has driven me to this point.
Um no. You don't appear to have any interest in understanding her. You can see she OBVIOUSLY gets upset over certain things, yet you admit you go merrily on your way doing what you please and saying what you please. Grown ups take responsibility for the consequences of their actions - your consequences are that you hurt your girlfriend. Don't blame HER for that. That's on you.
And nobody gets "driven" to anything dear - unless you're in a car.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
