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Location: Phoenix, Arizona, USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy, Dimension C-132
15 posts, read 8,175 times
Reputation: 20
I've never had a woman want me as a provider. In fact, when I was making peak $ of my career at my last gig, I didn't have a single date the whole time. If women are chasing money, the aren't doing it around me.
Last edited by The_Thallest; 12-12-2016 at 03:49 PM..
This is my greatest fear. My future wife calling me average looking.
Really? I adore my husband, desire him sexually, enjoy his company, love to do stuff for him, ETC.
But that's your biggest fear?
Do you look like George Clooney or Brad Pitt? The majority of the world is average, there is nothing wrong with that AND it has nothing to do with sexual attraction.
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I'm not the best looking guy. I'm probably average somewhere in the 4-6 range depending on who you ask. It hurts me because I know a woman will never be with me due to raw attraction. She will want me for my resources as well as her desperation to have a child and lock down a guy. How do you come to terms with this? I just want a woman who is as crazy about me as I am about her. Seems like this won't be in my future as I am not attractive to women. It's a tough pill to swallow. How do you cope?
Let me sum up:
1) If you are using a numerical scale to rate yourself and others, you haven't really advanced in social development beyond a ninth-grader.
2) If you think that a woman is just using you for your paycheck and sperm, then it likely means that you have nothing else to offer. My wife was making more than me when she married me. Didn't stop her in the least. She fell in love with me because I made her laugh, not because of my paycheck.
3) If you are so shallow as to assess your attractiveness based on your appearance, then small wonder you haven't found anyone. Because if you are this much of a cynical sad sack, there's not much else to offer the world. And if you really think you're that homely, then get busy. Try getting some exercise. Buy some decent clothes. Stop gorging on Doritos and Diet Dr. Pepper in your mother's basement.
4) The world treats you the way you see it. If you see women as nothing more than a bunch of gold diggers looking for a sugar daddy, then prepare for a really lonely life.
Here's what I will say. I'm typically the "relationship guy". The man who brings brings some sex appeal to the relationship, but his real virtues are mostly elsewhere. Even though that describes a lot of men and even though I'm mostly resigned to being that guy, human nature being what it is and me being human, I'd sometimes like to be the guy she just wants to ****. You know, insanely wants to ****.
In all seriousness, I think many ordinary men cringe when they read of some man whose wife is now saying she was never all that attracted to him. She was attracted to what he brought to the table, and not necessarily income but perhaps that, along with stability and decency and similar values and so on. But no spark. Those things are great and needed in a long term relationship, and if there is some spark of sexual attraction that can go a long way with the right partner, man or woman. I think that's what some young men miss. Most of us aren't the guy she just wants to ****, but most women aren't that woman either. We're a combination of qualities that hopefully tips a woman's attention very fondly our way, and that spark ignites that combination of qualities and it turns out we (the couple) burn pretty brightly despite neither person being exceptionally hot.
This is my greatest fear. My future wife calling me average looking.
Why? What if she loves every line and plane of that "average" face? What if there is no other like it, because this one is yours? What if she can't wait to get home at the end of the day so she can greet that face and kiss it?
Why? What if she loves every line and plane of that "average" face? What if there is no other like it, because this one is yours? What if she can't wait to get home at the end of the day so she can greet that face and kiss it?
I've never had a woman want me as a provider. In fact, when I was making peak $ of my career at my last gig, I didn't have a single date the whole time. If women are chasing money, the aren't doing it around me.
When I married my first husband, our salaries were almost exactly equal and I continued to work. When I married my second husband, I was making more than he was, he was temporarily out of work due to the move to me (about six months) and I continued to work, then when I stayed home with the children, I continued to work from home, and still do to this day. I have no plans to stop and in fact, I have recently been thinking about how I can go back outside the home into the workforce to bring in a bigger chunk than I am now.
My husband and I were in our late 40s when we married. Physically our prime days are behind us, so I'm glad that he found more than looks to appreciate and value about me.
The mere touch of his hand has an effect on me, and the sound of his voice makes me melt. Not to mention that I admire and respect him more than any other person. When we first met, I earned more and had more assets though that has flipped in recent years.
Your views on relationships and how attraction works is narrow and sad.
I can date/mate a 4-6, easy. But I can't date a guy who 1) assumes he has nothing else to bring to the table besides a paycheck and 2) assumes I'm only looking for a paycheck and a baby daddy!
Ha!
I pay my own bills, own my own home, and have retirement savings, thank you very much, so I'm looking for a guy to have fun times with. The OP does not sound fun to me!
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